Read Time: 3 minutes

Are you recently engaged? Is your wedding day fast approaching? Either way, you are probably wondering what to expect at Pre-Cana. We have some insight on the types of programs and how they work.

When an engaged Catholic couple begins the marriage preparation process, one of the things they are required to do is complete a Pre-Cana program.

Pre-Cana consists of an in-person or online program, a class, a retreat or a series of meetings with a priest/deacon or a sponsor couple.

Whatever the format may look like, each option covers all the required topics for couples preparing to be married in a Catholic church.

Most will agree that couples should have a strong relationship before getting engaged, however a Pre-Cana is more than just seeing if the relationship is compatible.

The purpose of Pre-Cana is to take a deeper dive into the unique challenges that come along with being married, all through the lens of spirituality and practicality.

The bride and groom to-be, are encouraged to use this time as an opportunity looking forward toward their new life together. Each discussion helps to ensure they are on the same page as a couple, and ready to face the exciting adventure together, as one.

Here are a few ways of completing a Pre-Cana:

A Day-Long Event

These one-day gatherings are scheduled periodically throughout the year. Some dioceses offer an event on a monthly basis at different parish locations, while for others dates may be limited.

Registrations are on a first-come basis. Many church facilities have limited seating, and others may welcome 100+ couples.

During this in-person event, presenters use blocks of time to cover the required topics, highlighting the importance, relevance, and their experience in each conversation piece.

The event is typically a minimum of eight hours, with a lunch often served, and perhaps breakout sessions.

Online

This option is available in all 50 United States, and many countries abroad. It’s popularity, approval, and necessity is vast, and continues to grow across the globe.

There is an ever-increasing number of parishes that have adopted this as their primary program, and most dioceses see this as a vital tool in their ministry “toolbox”.

The Marriage Group’s program consists of 100% online/on-demand formats, and can be used as either self-lead or mentor-lead depending on the needs of the couple.

After the couple has successfully completed the program, a certificate of completion is generated that shows that the couple has successfully finished the course.

Weekend Retreats

A retreat is a time set aside from distractions to concentrate on prayer, meditation — or in this case, marriage preparation.

Many retreats ask couples to arrive on Friday late-afternoon (between 4pm-7pm), participating in a meet-and-greet, followed by dinner. An evening class often takes place to get the presentations started.

The couples then spend all of Saturday in a multitude of sessions, in-between the breakfast, lunch and dinner that is served.

On Sunday, there will be one more meal together followed by a few more presentations. The retreat comes to a close around lunchtime.

Options, Options, Options…

When deciding which program is the right program, we encourage you to consult with your priest or deacon, paired with whichever learning method works best for you and your spouse-to-be.

At the end of the day, be sure to make the most out of Pre-Cana. Participate, engage in conversation and, most of all, enjoy the process. Your experience will inevitably be filled with impactful moments that you will remember for the rest of your lives together.

Don’t rush it!

Read Time: 3 minutes

Aside from our wedding day, New Year’s Eve in 2018 was the best day of my life. Jake, my best friend and boyfriend of five years, proposed. We were elated, ringing in the new year bearing the excitement of becoming husband and wife. But after the lively FaceTime sessions, house calls, and champagne toasts, reality sat in — we were planning a wedding in eight months.

And so it began. My mother toiled away on her computer creating wedding-related spreadsheets. Jake and I spent countless evenings in our living room discussing tuxedos, invitations, and DJ playlists. Bridesmaids eagerly pinned updos and floral arrangements to my now-shamelessly public wedding Pinterest board. Everything was falling beautifully into place.

As we crossed things off our master list, one task that we didn’t manage to tackle early on was Pre-Cana. There are a few reasons why:

• We both work full-time, so our schedules were booked solid.
• Wedding planning was taking up all of our time, energy, and money.
• Taking any hours-long class that includes group participation is daunting.

Weighing Our Pre-Cana Options

The first logical step for us was to meet with the priest, so we made an appointment at my childhood parish. During this first meeting, we were bombarded with paperwork, including a sheet of approved Pre-Cana classes. Later that night, I sat down to Google each parish-approved Pre-Cana course. While each couple hosting the classes seemed terrific, it was the little details that prevented me from booking. One class was 30 miles away. Another cost upwards of $200. And one was absurdly long. None of those Pre-Cana options were ideal.

Luckily, one of the options was an online Pre-Cana course. Since I grew up in a traditional Catholic family, the idea hadn’t even occurred to me. So we went online and learned about Living Our Faith in Love. After browsing their website, we knew this was the route we wanted to take.

Our Experience With Living Our Faith in Love

Opting for an online marriage prep course took a huge weight off our shoulders. Instead of setting aside an entire weekend for Pre-Cana, we could take the course at our own pace in the comfort of our own home.

And that’s exactly what we did. Over the next few weeks, Jake and I carved out time to get comfortable on the couch, curl up with our two beagles and cat, and watch marriage prep videos.

Our Top Three Favorite Things About This Pre-Cana:

1: The Content

We were pleasantly surprised that the content in this Pre-Cana course offers a modern take on traditional values. The people in the videos shared anecdotes that are relatable to younger generations living a modern lifestyle but still express the critical aspects of building a lasting marriage.

2: The Built-In Discussion Time

Each bit of the course includes prompts to discuss key takeaways with your partner, which was an excellent opportunity for us to dive into tough subjects like family and faith. Jake and I found the section on communication particularly helpful — we still cite our learnings from that part of the course to help us move past conflicts.

3: The Flexibility

One of the best things about using Living Our Faith in Love for marriage prep was the flexibility of the course. We never felt pressured by time restraints typical in a classroom setting, and we took all the time we needed to hash out complex discussions. Plus, we were able to get our Certification of Completion on our own schedule.

At the end of the course, we felt accomplished, fulfilled, and happy with our decision to take Pre-Cana online — and Living Our Faith in Love made the whole process easy.

Read Time: 3 minutes

Marriage preparation? What is that? What’s the point of doing Pre-Cana?

“My fiance and I have decided to get married in the Catholic Church. Why are we being asked to take classes?”

These are all real and legitimate questions that many couples ask when they learn that they need to complete a marriage preparation program (Pre-Cana) in order to get married in the Catholic Church.

Let us examine some of the reasons why the Church asks engaged couples to take classes before they get married.

Why Is It Required?

Everything in life takes formation, preparation, and getting ready. Before we go on a trip, we pack our bags, we look at a map, we purchase airline tickets, etc. Before we graduate from college, we have to study and pass several classes — it takes years!

Important things in life take a time of preparation and formation in order for them to be successful. Same with marriage! It is a very important decision; one that will change the way we live our lives. Therefore, it is a decision that requires an important period of formation and preparation, both individually and as a couple.

First, let us look at the sacrament of marriage in the teaching of the Catholic Church. Marriage or Matrimony is one of the seven sacraments of the Church, together with Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, and Holy Orders. Two of these are considered the sacraments of service (Marriage and Holy Orders). The Catechism of the Catholic Church mentions them:

“Two other sacraments, Holy Orders and Matrimony, are directed towards the salvation of others; if they contribute as well to personal salvation, it is through service to others that they do so. They confer a particular mission in the Church and serve to build up the People of God.” (CCC1534)

There is a connection between marriage and service that we usually miss or that nobody explains to couples preparing for matrimony. Marriage consecrates us to serve others: our spouse and, if we have them, our children, and the rest of the community. Marriage is a ministry — our first ministry — and it is in their marriage where the spouses serve each other. Together, they serve their family and the whole community.

This is the reason why the Church takes so seriously the preparation for these sacraments. Priests have to study for years (six to eight years) before they receive the sacrament of Holy Orders. Husband and Wife also need to prepare themselves to become fully informed of the commitment and the responsibility that comes with marriage.

Why Is It Important?

Marriage preparation is not only learning about the religious, spiritual, or theological aspects of the sacrament of marriage (even though these are important elements that are present in every marriage preparation course).

Preparation for marriage also includes practical elements that will help the couple in those “day-to-day aspects” of forming a new family. Family of origin, money matters, conflict resolution, intimacy and sexuality, and several more are important topics that will help the couple deal with important issues that we often forget to talk about before and during marriage.

Therefore, how can we answer the question that many couples ask, “What’s the point of doing Pre-Cana?” We understand that, because it is a sacrament and commitment for a lifetime that moves us to serve others, we need an appropriate period of preparation to be fully informed of what that entails. Also, the Church sees the time of immediate preparation (approximately six months before the wedding) as a time of discernment; a time to think and reflect on what the new life that a husband and wife are beginning together will look like.

Immediate preparation for marriage should include not only marriage preparation classes, but also a personal time of preparation. It is wise for each individual to take time alone to think and reflect on the important step that they are about to take. Take time to pray and talk with God about the future family about to be formed.

What’s the Point?

So, what’s the point of doing Pre-Cana? The points include:

• Prepare yourself to serve your spouse
• Prepare yourself to serve the family
• Prepare yourself to serve the community
• Time to talk to God
• Time to think and reflect

It is our hope that this time of preparation for matrimony will be a joyful experience in your life and that, through this time, you learn to discover the beauty and wonder of the sacrament of marriage. Be blessed!