Couples Catholic Marriage Archives

Finding Light in Marriage’s Dark Moments: A Lesson From Mary

Read Time: 3 minutes

It was 7:55 p.m. on a Sunday night when God chose to teach me a lesson about marriage through an unexpected source – the moon and Our Blessed Mother. My wife and I had just weathered one of those days that tested a marriage’s strength: a sick child, missed meals, and the constant juggling of family responsibilities. I found myself in a drive-thru line, finally getting dinner for my exhausted wife and myself.

As I waited for the car ahead to move, I glimpsed the full moon hanging in the night sky – bright and majestic. In that moment, God reminded me of something profound about both Our Lady and marriage itself.

The Hidden Grace in Difficult Moments

Just as the moon illuminates the darkness, Mary guides us through marriage’s challenging seasons. My wife and I were in the middle of a 33-day Marian consecration, set to conclude on the Feast of the Presentation. Through this spiritual journey together, we’ve discovered how Mary’s presence in our marriage mirrors her role at the foot of the cross – standing faithful in both light and shadow.

St. Mother Teresa spoke about the darkness beneath the cross, where Mary stood with John. Rather than flee this shadow, she remained present, teaching us a profound lesson about marriage: it’s often in our darkest moments – the arguments, the misunderstandings, the exhausted evenings – where we find the deepest opportunities for grace.

Mary as Our Marriage Guide

When we struggle to see God’s presence in our marriage, Mary shows us the way. Like a marathon runner’s companion, she runs alongside married couples:

During communication breakdowns, she who pondered everything in her heart teaches us to listen deeply
In moments of sacrifice, she who stood at the cross shows us how to love through pain
When feeling distant from God or spouse, she who experienced the flight to Egypt reminds us to trust the journey

The Star of Our Domestic Church

The ancient mariners called Mary the Star of the Sea, and she serves a similar role in marriage. Just as I found myself looking up at the moon while getting late-night dinner for my wife, Mary illuminates the small acts of love that build a holy marriage. She guides us through the night until we reach dawn – those moments when we glimpse Christ in our spouse again.

A Practical Path Forward

For couples seeking to invite Mary’s guidance into their marriage, consider:

Praying together daily, even briefly, asking Mary’s intercession
Finding moments to serve each other, remembering Mary’s fiat
Looking for Christ in your spouse, especially during challenging times
Supporting each other through spiritual darkness, standing together as Mary and John did

From Darkness to Light

Marriage, like faith, moves through seasons of light and shadow. The beauty of having Mary as our guide is that she understands both. She shows us how to remain faithful in darkness while always pointing us toward the Light of Christ.

Even as dawn breaks in our marriages – those moments of joy, reconciliation, and renewed love – Mary remains present, like the moon visible in morning light. She teaches us that true marital love always directs us toward her Son, where our deepest unity is found.

In those everyday moments of marriage – whether we’re caring for sick children, making late-night food runs, or simply trying to understand each other better – Mary stands ready to guide us. She reminds us that every act of sacrificial love in marriage, no matter how small, reflects the light of Christ to the world.

Author: Matt Chicoine

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

January 14, 2026/by Matthew Chicoine

Living Out Your Marriage During Holiday Stress

Couples Catholic Marriage, Married

Read Time: 3 minutes

The holiday season brings a unique blend of joy and challenge to married life. Between shopping lists, family gatherings, and end-of-year commitments, even the strongest marriages can feel stretched thin. Yet these moments of stress can become opportunities for deeper connection and spiritual growth.

Virtue in the Chaos

Marriage during the holidays tests our patience like few other seasons. Just as my wife and I learned while preparing for her major surgery, disruption to family routines requires intentional grace. With four young children, including two sons with autism, we’ve discovered that virtue isn’t about perfection – it’s about choosing love in small moments.

When schedules shift and tensions rise, practice small acts of virtue. A gentle word when your spouse forgets an item (evaporated milk!) on the shopping list. A moment of patience when holiday preparations don’t go as planned. These seemingly minor choices build a foundation of love that withstands seasonal stress.

Gratitude as Your Anchor

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” wrote St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier. When the world moves at lightning pace and pressures mount faster than holiday credit card bills, taking time to appreciate your spouse becomes essential. The catch? As with any gift from God, we must choose to accept it.

St. Josemaria Escriva reminds us to “Get used to lifting your heart to God, in acts of thanksgiving, many times a day. Because he gives you this and that; because you have been despised; because you haven’t what you need or because you have. Thank him for everything, because everything is good.”

In our family, we’ve found beauty in unexpected moments. When our daughters created a homemade bouquet to remember their sibling lost to miscarriage, it brought tears of grateful recognition – even in loss, love grows. These moments remind us that gratitude isn’t about perfect circumstances but about seeing God’s grace in all seasons.

Find Time to Relax Together

Amidst the holiday rush, carving out time for connection becomes both more challenging and more crucial. My wife and I share funny memes and one-liners throughout the day, finding humor in life’s chaos. Whether it’s laughing about our son (our “one-man football team”) running through the living room or sharing children’s innocent observations about faith, these moments of lightness strengthen our bond.

My wife and I love playing board games so we make it a point to put the kids to bed early some Fridays to spend quality time together. Pandemic Legacy, Backgammon, and deck-building games are some of our favorites.

Create small rituals of relaxation that fit your schedule. Even five minutes of shared quiet with a cup of coffee can become sacred space on a busy day.

Praying Together

The foundation of managing holiday stress lies in shared prayer. This year, my wife and I completed both a Eucharistic and Marian Consecration. These spiritual journeys provided an anchor during life’s curveballs – or should I say snowballs during winter?

When my wife was telling me about the anxiety she was facing thinking about work and the surgery, I told her, “Remember tonight we are starting the Eucharistic Consecration. There’s no better cure to worry than thinking about our Lord.” And on the days where I felt angst from all the various things I had to do for work my wife reminded me to trust in Jesus and ask the Blessed Virgin Mary for help.

New Marriages The Holidays and The Extended Family

Prayer doesn’t require elaborate plans. Start small: a shared morning offering, grace before meals, or evening gratitude. Let prayer become your pathway to peace, turning holiday chaos into opportunities for spiritual intimacy.

Remember, your marriage isn’t meant to achieve perfection but to grow in love through all seasons. As you navigate holiday stress together, let faith be your foundation and grace your guide. After all, the greatest gift you can give each other this season is the gift of presence – both to each other and to God.

Author: Matt Chicoine

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

November 18, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Marriage: One of the Greatest Adventures

Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 4 minutes

You know that moment when you’re folding laundry for the umpteenth time, or maybe you’re elbow-deep in dishes, and suddenly you wonder, “Is this all there is to married life?” Well, let me tell you, my friend, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, standing in a sea of mismatched socks, wondering if I’d somehow missed the memo on the grand adventure marriage was supposed to be.

But here’s the thing: what if I told you that right where you are, in the midst of the everyday chaos of married life, you’re actually on the greatest adventure of your faith journey?

The Unexpected Call

Remember how it all started? That flutter in your heart when you first met your spouse? That was God’s first whisper of the adventure He had in store for you. Just like He called those fishermen to become apostles, He called you and your spouse to this incredible journey of marriage.

I’m reminded of this every time I read The Hobbit to our kids at bedtime. There’s this moment when Gandalf says to Bilbo, “I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.” Doesn’t that sound a bit like God calling us to the adventure of marriage?

Let’s face it, once the honeymoon phase wears off and we realize this journey involves dirty diapers, mortgage payments, and compromising on what to watch on Netflix, it’s tempting to think we’ve somehow wandered off the path of adventure. But as Saint John Paul II wisely said, “Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure.” And nowhere is this more true than in the sacrament of marriage.

When Doubt Creeps In

Now, I’ll be honest with you. There have been days when I’ve looked at my spouse across the breakfast table and thought, “Are we cut out for this?” The worry creeps in: “What if I’m not patient enough, loving enough, or tough enough for this marriage gig?”

Sound familiar? It’s what I like to call the “Marriage Imposter Syndrome.” But here’s where we need to lean into our faith. Remember what St. Peter said? “Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). This applies to your marriage too!

In those moments of doubt, when the dishes are piled high and you haven’t had a date night in months, remember the words of Pope Benedict XVI: “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” Your marriage? It’s a path to that greatness.

Just Do It: The Marriage Edition

Now, I’m not suggesting you add a Nike swoosh on your wedding ring, but there’s something to be said for their slogan when it comes to marriage. Sometimes, you’ve just got to do it. Make that bed together even when you’re grumpy. Say “I love you” even when your spouse forgot to buy milk… again.

These aren’t extraordinary acts, but day after day, they compound into something beautiful. It’s like Jesus said, “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19-20). In marriage, it might sound more like, “Go, therefore, and love each other, even when it’s hard, showing the world what God’s love looks like.”

Shining Your Light Together

You and your spouse? You’re a team. And together, you have a light to shine that’s uniquely yours. Maybe it’s the way you welcome others into your home, how you support each other’s dreams, or the grace you show in forgiving each other’s mistakes.

I’ll let you in on a secret: there are days when I feel like hiding under that proverbial basket. Days when the adventure of marriage feels more like a slog through the marshes of Mordor (yes, I’m a Tolkien fan, can you tell?). But then I remember Saint Francis of Assisi’s advice: “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

In marriage, sometimes the necessary thing is just showing up. It’s choosing love when you don’t feel like it. It’s forgiving for the hundredth time. And before you know it, you’re doing what once seemed impossible – building a life of love that reflects God’s own love for His people.

Your Marriage Adventure Awaits

So, my dear friends, are you ready to see your marriage as the grand adventure it truly is? It may not always feel like you’re scaling Mount Doom (last Tolkien reference, I promise), but every act of love, every choice to serve your spouse, every shared prayer is part of this incredible journey.

The call has been issued. The greatest adventure of your faith life isn’t in some far-off mission field – it’s right there in your home, in your marriage. It’s time to cast aside your worries, trust in God’s care, and just do it. Love fiercely, forgive freely, and let your marriage be a light to the world.

Who knows? Your next load of laundry might just be the start of the most exciting chapter yet in your marriage adventure. Are you ready?

Author: Matt Chicoine

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

October 30, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Build the Bridge of Your Marriage

Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 3 minutes

Bridges take time to build…lots of time. It also takes time to build your marriage. Along with time it requires effort and the right tools. Here’s how you can apply some bridge-building to your relationship:

Solid Foundation: Every good bridge needs a strong base. In your marriage, that’s your shared faith. Make sure you’re both firmly planted in Christ before you start adding any fancy architectural features.
Proper Materials: You wouldn’t build a bridge out of marshmallows, would you? (Though that sounds delicious.) In marriage, your building materials are trust, communication, and forgiveness. Stock up on these – you’ll need plenty!
Skilled Workers: Bridge builders need to know their stuff. For your marriage, that means constantly learning and growing together. Attend marriage prep classes, read books on relationships, and maybe even try a couple’s retreat. You’re never too old (or too married) to learn new tricks!
Regular Maintenance: Bridges need constant care to stay strong. Same goes for your marriage! Regular date nights, daily check-ins, and frequent expressions of love and appreciation are your relationship’s maintenance crew.

Stretching Towards Each Other

Jesus stretched out His arms on the cross. It represents him bridging the gap between us and God the Father. In your marriage, you’ll need to do some stretching too. It might be uncomfortable, and sometimes painful, but it’s worth it.

This could mean:

Stepping out of your comfort zone to support your spouse’s dreams
Reaching out to offer forgiveness after an argument
Extending yourself to meet your partner’s needs, even when you’re tired

Bridging the Gaps

Every couple faces gaps in their relationship – differences in opinion, background, or even in how you load the dishwasher (Raise your hand if your spouse loads it like a rabid racoon!). Your job as a married duo is to be constant bridge builders, always finding ways to connect despite these gaps.

Some bridge-building strategies:

Active listening (Put down that phone!)
Seeking to understand before being understood
Finding compromises that work for both of you

The Sacramental Bridge

Here’s where it gets really cool. In the Catholic Church, marriage itself is a sacrament – a visible sign of God’s invisible grace. Your marriage is literally a bridge that helps you and others encounter God’s love!

So, every time you:

Forgive each other
Support each other through tough times
Celebrate each other’s successes
Or even just share a laugh over a bad Dad joke

You’re not just strengthening your own relationship – you’re showing the world a glimpse of God’s unconditional love.

Your Call to Action

Alright, future and current bridge builders, here’s your mission:

Reflect on your marriage (or future marriage) as a bridge. Where are the strong points? Where might you need some reinforcement?
Choose one “bridge-building” action to focus on this week. Maybe it’s a date night, a heartfelt conversation, or just picking up those socks without being asked.
Pray together, asking God – the ultimate Bridge Builder – to guide and strengthen your relationship.

Remember, just as the Incarnation bridged the gap between God and humanity, your marriage can be a beautiful bridge of love in this world. So grab your hard hats, your love tools, and start building!

May your bridges be strong, your love be deep, and your socks always find their way to the laundry basket. God bless your marriage!

Author: Matt Chicoine

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

October 30, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Harvest Holiness: October Saints Nurture Marital Love

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 4 minutes

As the leaves turn vibrant shades of red and gold, October brings not just the beauty of autumn but also a spiritual bounty for married couples. My wife’s birthday falls during this month, reminding me of the precious gift of marriage God has blessed us with. It’s also a time rich with feast days of saints who can offer profound wisdom for our marital journeys.

Seasons of Change, Unchanging Love

October is a month of transition. It starts with trees full of colorful leaves and ends with bare branches, colder weather, and earlier sunsets. This changing of seasons can be symbolic of the various phases our marriages go through. Just as nature prepares for the coming winter, we too can weather the changing seasons of our relationships by recentering our focus on the Unchanging One—God.

As Joshua 24:15 reminds us, “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” This commitment to serving God together can be our anchor through all of life’s transitions. Most of our adult lives occur in this “not-yet-at-the-end” period, much like October leading into November and the end of the liturgical year. The honeymoon or springtime of marriage goes by so quickly, and it’s easy to fall prey to the temptation of judging our marriage solely by how we feel in the moment. Instead, let’s look to the saints and our faith to guide us through each season.

The Month of the Holy Rosary

October is dedicated to the Most Holy Rosary, a powerful tool for strengthening our marriages. Saint Louis de Montfort wisely advised, “Recite your Rosary with faith, with humility, with confidence, and with perseverance.” These qualities—faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance—are not only crucial for praying the Rosary but also for nurturing a strong, lasting marriage. Consider making the Rosary a part of your daily routine as a couple, allowing Mary’s intercession to guide your relationship. Now, let’s explore how five remarkable saints, celebrated in October, can illuminate and strengthen your marriage:

1. St. Thérèse of Lisieux (October 1)

The Little Flower’s wisdom is a balm for any marriage. She taught that it’s not the grandeur of our actions but the love behind them that matters. In the daily grind of married life, it’s easy to focus on tasks and forget the loving intention behind them. Whether it’s doing the dishes or planning a date night, St. Thérèse reminds us to infuse every action with love for our spouse.

2. Guardian Angels (October 2)

Every night, my children and I pray to our guardian angels before bed. This practice can be a beautiful addition to your family routine, fostering a sense of divine protection over your household. As a couple, consider praying together for your angels’ guidance in your relationship. The Catechism reminds us that “human life is surrounded by their watchful care and intercession” (CCC 336). Imagine the power of heavenly beings watching over your marriage!

3. St. Francis of Assisi (October 4)

Francis’s radical embrace of poverty can inspire us to examine our priorities in marriage. Are we too focused on material possessions? How can we simplify our lives to focus more on each other? His famous prayer, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,” is a beautiful mantra for married couples, encouraging us to bring harmony to our relationships and homes.

4. St. Maria Faustina (October 5)

St. Faustina’s teachings on Divine Mercy transformed my wife’s faith journey and ultimately led to her conversion to Catholicism. In marriage, mercy is crucial. Faustina’s insights can help us view our spouse through God’s eyes of mercy, fostering forgiveness and compassion. Her words, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul,” can provide comfort during challenging times in your marriage.

5. St. Teresa of Avila (October 15)

Teresa’s spiritual classic, “The Interior Castle,” offers a roadmap for deepening our spiritual lives. As married couples, we can journey together through this “interior castle,” supporting each other’s growth in faith. Teresa’s teachings on prayer can enrich your spiritual intimacy as a couple.

Embracing Saintly Wisdom in Your Marriage

These saints offer us a treasure trove of wisdom for our marriages. Here are some practical ways to incorporate their teachings:

Create a prayer corner in your home with images of these saints, reminding you of their examples.
Choose one saint each week to focus on as a couple. Read about their lives and discuss how their teachings apply to your marriage.
Pray the Rosary together daily, following St. Louis de Montfort’s advice to do so with faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance.
Practice small acts of love and mercy towards each other daily, inspired by St. Thérèse and St. Faustina.
Simplify an area of your life together, following St. Francis’s example.
Reflect on the changing seasons and how they mirror the phases of your marriage. Use this as an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment to serving God together.

As we journey through October, let’s allow these saintly companions to guide us. Their examples of love, mercy, simplicity, and deep faith can transform our marriages, leading us closer to each other and to God. Remember, as St. Teresa of Avila said, “God alone suffices.” When we center our marriages on Him, with the saints as our guides, we build a foundation that can weather any storm.

May this October be a time of spiritual renewal for your marriage, a “second spring” where every moment of love between you blossoms like the colorful leaves of autumn. As the world around us changes, let your love for each other and for God remain constant, a beacon of warmth and light as we move towards the colder months. Embrace this transitional time as an opportunity to deepen your bond, knowing that with faith and perseverance, your marriage can thrive.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

September 30, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Indescribable Joy

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 4 minutes

My Son’s First Reconciliation Journey

What does indescribable joy feel like? Well, this is something that I experienced when my son celebrated his First Reconciliation a few weeks ago. It was a Saturday before his First Communion, and he had a First Reconciliation service.

For a couple of hours, there were some stations that the first communicants were participating in along with their parents, which were highlighting various parts of the Sacrament of Confession.

So we did all those, and there’s just such great beauty in the sacrament.

We talked about the connection to the Sacrament of Baptism, the fact that the first communicants would be wearing a white garment over their first communion outfits. As an outward sign of the invisible garment that they received or they were clothed in with Baptism.

Reconciliation is a way where that baptismal garment is renewed, it’s cleansed again of any sin that a person commits after Baptism. Reconciliation is that sacrament of mercy.

It’s something that God’s mercy is so bountiful that he doesn’t want to hold back.

He welcomes you back with open arms, and he meets you.

He runs towards you.

Much like that image of the forgiving father in the parable of the prodigal son.

An Overwhelming Wave of Emotions

As I was standing in the confessional line with my son, I experienced just an incredible wave of emotion. I had such immense joy, and the only way I could describe it was, there was this joy that originated, that started in my heart, in my innermost being.

It started to radiate out of me, in a way that it couldn’t escape out of my body, except through my tears.

There was a trembling, a deep reverence I felt for God, a deep sense of gratitude that overwhelmed me entirely. My mind, my body, my soul, my heart. It eventually burst forth through tears. Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of sorrow for those times where I did not see, or did I not show myself the best role model for my son, and the times that I failed him and God.

The Light of the Resurrection

So there were all of these emotions, and it was that sense where it was bursting out of me, but in a sense, kind of like how the light burst out of Jesus. At the Resurrection, Jesus was transformed completely, while still retaining his earthly body with its scars and wounds.

This image came to mind as a representation of the light we receive at confession, which is contained within us as a foretaste of heaven.

I couldn’t contain this light, and it burst forth from me in the form of tears of joy.

Overcoming Obstacles with Faith

As I looked at my son, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and pride in what he was doing. He was nervous about confession, and it had been a journey for our family. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at 18 months, he struggled to communicate his needs.

We went through countless therapy sessions over the years to help him reach the point where he could communicate effectively. The fact that he was able to stand before God in the Sacrament of Confession, through the priest, and experience that wonderful gift was something we once wondered if he would receive.

The Joy of First Communion

This past Saturday, when our son experienced his First Reconciliation, it foreshadowed the joy we felt seeing him receive Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament for the first time. God truly worked in me, bringing me to my knees, figuratively speaking.

I was overwhelmed with emotion, feeling the power of God in that moment. It’s difficult to describe, but it was like a burst of joy, light, gratitude, wonder, and awe.

A Message of Perseverance and Faith

I must admit that I’m not always the best father, and I have sought God’s mercy many times.

In that moment, I experienced a full spectrum of emotions, both sorrow and joy, highs and lows.

It was a beautiful thing.

What I took from this is that our faith stabilizes us, and it is worth it.

If you’re struggling with young children, unsure if you’re doing the right thing by taking them to Mass, and they don’t seem to get it, I encourage you to stick with it.

You’re doing better than you think you are.

You are showing up, being present, being consistent, even if you don’t feel God’s presence. It’s really just in the effort and continuing to show up week after week.

That daily prayer at night, before meals, asking God for help, even the times where you’re frustrated. And just thanking God for the moments, for the simple things. Those are the things that really help, that lead you to these monumental milestones, like First Reconciliation.

Conclusion

I really wanted to share a little bit about this experience I had, witnessing my son preparing for the Sacrament of Confession. It’s just been a joy to experience, and I’ve been meaning to share this story so much. I’ve had a variety of things that life has hit my family and me with. Vehicle issues, medical issues with my family, lots of struggle, anxiety.

But I had to share the good news, that God is so merciful.

He works in us, He works through the Catholic Church with administering the Sacrament, and it’s just a beautiful way to experience God. God bless you and your family!

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

March 17, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

How to Rejoice with Gratitude & Humility

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 5 minutes

The rite of Holy Matrimony is beautiful.

Not only for the day of the wedding, but it bears fruit for years to come. One of the sections I have constantly reflected on during my marriage is the pledge to be faithful in all circumstances.

Here’s an excerpt of that portion of the Marriage Rite.

The bridegroom says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

The bride says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

While the strongest moments of my marriage have occurred through the suffering we endured together (miscarriages, medical issues, stress at work, etc), the high points are things I struggle to reflect on as deeply and celebrate more frequently.

I actually find it easier to be grateful to God for sustaining me during the valleys than to rejoice on the great mountaintops He brings me to.

This article will look at a few ways that my wife and I have learned to intentionally rejoice together with gratitude and humility for the many blessings God has bestowed upon us.

The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

It’s important to make a distinction between joy and happiness. While the thesaurus links the two as synonyms, there are key differences. Happiness is more of a fleeting feeling. It’s usually evoked by an external thing, person, or moment. But, it fades when the external stimuli goes away.

Joy is something far deeper and more long lasting. It dwells deeper, in the heart and in the soul.

According to Saint Paul VI in his encyclical on joy, Gaudete in Domino, “Christian joy is the spiritual sharing in the unfathomable joy, both divine and human, which is in the heart of Jesus Christ glorified.” The joy we receive (like all the other graces) in the sacrament of marriage is of supernatural origin.

Joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Gratitude is the Harbinger of Joy

While joy is a gift from God and not something we can conjure up on our own, we can prepare for receiving this gift. According to Blessed Solanus Casey, “Gratitude is the first sign of a thinking, rational creature.” Gratitude allows us to see our lives as a chapter of a grander story.

A good story.

A beautiful story.

A true story.

And a truly joyful story.

While happiness relies on the “good” things that happen to you, joy is a gift you can receive in good AND bad times. And gratitude is the soil by which the seed of joy is planted, grown, and come to fruition.

In my marriage, I have learned the power of gratitude, but it took years to realize it.

Early in our marriage, I shied away from suffering. I became bitter when things didn’t work out the way I planned or anticipated. This led to an ungrateful mindset, but then God sent my wife and I to the school of suffering.

We experienced several miscarriages (the most severe in 2014 and 2017), and our losses taught us (me specifically, as my wife has a more overall grateful heart) that life is not to be taken for granted.

Since those losses, I have learned the importance of being more grateful. Now, no matter how bad my day goes, I can look back and find something to be thankful for even if it’s not in the immediate moment.

Living Liturgically Provides a Foundation

Along with the suffering God blessed me and my family with over the years, receiving God’s graces through the liturgy has been a source of refreshment and strength. My wife and I developed strong devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary, in particular Mary Undoer of Knots.

A simple way we have lived liturgically is by having sacred art and statues in our home. The Christian home is the domestic church (or, as I like to call it, the micro-church). We also have found spiritual friendships with Saints Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, and Gerard of Majella.

To live liturgically is to seek to find God’s work throughout the year.

We set the foundation by attending Mass once a week on Sundays and on holy days of obligation. The next step we made was to celebrate our family’s “patron saints”. Days like April 29, September 21, and October 15 took on new meaning. They became days we looked forward to.

Frequent confession and Eucharistic adoration are other ways my wife and I have found to be fruitful for our spiritual life. Receiving God’s mercy and love in the sacramental life have helped to reorient us when life knocks us down. We recently had to deal with a broken vehicle and emergency medical needs for our daughter. But living liturgically has given my wife and I the ability to rejoice with gratitude and humility even amid our struggles.

It’s Not Easy

Rejoicing together with gratitude and humility is a challenge. Life’s suffering makes it difficult. However, these practices help us distinguish fleeting happiness from lasting joy. They cultivate gratitude on a daily basis. The Church’s liturgical rhythms anchor us to God’s unending faithfulness. It opens us up to joy’s supernatural gift.

In our darkest valleys, my wife and I maintain devotion to Mary and the saints. We frequently celebrate sacraments. We celebrate liturgical seasons in our home church. All of this together helps us rejoice and thank God for blessings. Our hope is that all couples would strive to embrace marriage’s joys and sorrows with grateful, humble hearts.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

March 14, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

5 Saints I Wish I Knew More About

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 5 minutes

At the start of my marriage…

One of the things I remembered talking about in marriage prep was the importance of making time for your spouse.

To carve out certain times of the day or week for quality time — putting the kids to bed early or having a babysitter watch them while you and your spouse go out on a date.

My wife and I could rarely hire a babysitter and with the diagnosis of our children with special needs it was a challenge for us to leave them in the care of someone we could trust.

Often, we had our parents help but since we moved in 2014 my mom and dad weren’t a mile or two away anymore.

We learned to be more strategic with our time: in-home date nights, making use of errands, or taking the kids to play in a park while we talked.

Along with wishing I invested more quality time with my wife at the beginning of my marriage I also wish I had a deeper relationship with several Catholic saints. Some of them I knew having gone to a Catholic school and others I learned about several years into my marriage.

Each of these 5 saints I regret not having found friendship earlier on. The aim of this article is to introduce you and your spouse to amazing holy role models and friends to learn from and reflect God’s love.

1. Teresa of Avila

In May 2018, my wife was pregnant with our fourth born child.

Months earlier we suffered our fourth miscarriage.

It was a loss that hurt us deeply and we were cautiously optimistic with this pregnancy. On Mother’s Day, my wife was experiencing signs that pointed to yet another miscarriage.

“I don’t think I can bear another loss,” my wife told me.

Feeling the same, I remember telling her, “The only thing we can do is pray. Let’s have our parish priest confer anointing of the sick. At least we can say we did everything in our power to save our child.”

We scheduled the Anointing of the Sick a few days later and asked for the intercession of Saint Teresa of Avila to help keep our unborn baby safe. Through God’s Providence our daughter survived the pregnancy and was born later that year.

We named her Avila after that tremendous saint.

The wisdom and sanctity of Saint Teresa has had a profound impact on my spiritual well-being for the past five years. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but I’m always comforted when I read her works.

Her prayer is most powerful:

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

2. Catherine of Siena

Along with Teresa of Avila, my daughter is named after Catherine of Siena. Her impact on my life has been great. A few years ago, I wrote an article about this saint as a model for addressing Church authority (it was during the news of the clergy scandal).

I read all of Catherine’s letters to the popes. What captured my attention was her ability to call out corruption with resolve while at the same time being charitable in her communication.

It was this balanced approach that helped influence my tone of voice and how I dealt with talking about hot-buttoned issues on social media. Reading Saint Catherine’s Dialogues was also quite insightful and drew me closer to the furnace of God’s love.

Learning about her patronage as those who suffered miscarriages was the final reason that compelled my wife and I to make her one of our family’s patron saints.

Catherine’s mantra, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire” are words I live by daily.

3. Philip Neri

While the first two saints provided more theological and spiritual support in my life and marriage, Saint Philip is a role model due to the joy he displayed. He is known as the patron saint of comedy.

Before I learned about this saint, I didn’t associate humor with holiness. During an especially intense period of suffering, I happened upon the awesomeness of Philip Neri.

The joyful spirit he exhibited inspires me and my wife to find hope even in the darkest of times.

4. Maria Faustina

The Polish nun had a profound impact on my wife’s conversion to Catholicism. In college she was introduced to this saint. Reading Saint Maria Faustina’s diary and praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy helped in her discernment to become Catholic.

In the early years of our marriage, I had a preliminary understanding of Saint Maria, but I wished I knew more about her prior to my marriage. She is an excellent guide to Jesus and trusting in His Providence.

5. Louis de Montfort

Finally, Saint Louis de Montfort had a strong influence on my faith life. While studying for my master’s degree in theology I came across his books The Secret of the Rosary and True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Both of these works deepened my understanding and relationship with the Mother of God.

My wife and I have leaned heavily on the Blessed Virgin Mary over the past dozen years and plan to continue to deepen our friendship with Her. She is the surest guide to Jesus. I can’t imagine how much stronger our early years of marriage would have been if I knew about Louis de Montfort (and his unique ability to draw you closer to Mary and Jesus) at the beginning of the sacrament!

Companionship of Saints

Our marital journey amidst the challenges of parenthood and special needs was enriched by the companionship of saints. Despite the obstacles in finding traditional quality time, we discovered innovative ways to nurture our relationship within our daily routines.

Through the intercession of Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, Philip Neri, Maria Faustina, and Louis de Montfort, we find strength, wisdom, and joy to persevere.

These saints not only inspire us but fundamentally shape our approach to life and relationships. Their examples of faith, charity, joy, and devotion enrich our spiritual journey and strengthen our bond with each other and with God. As we continue forward, we are grateful for their enduring friendship and intercession, guiding us towards deeper unity and holiness in our marriage and beyond.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

March 10, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Keep Your Marriage Evergreen

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 5 minutes

The more you do something, the better you get at it, but there is also a danger of taking it for granted.
Marriage is like a tree. It takes time to grow and flower. It also needs to be planted in the best “soil” and nourished frequently. Let’s examine a few ways we can keep our marriages holy, fresh, and evergreen.

Parable of the Sower- Spiritual Soil Matters

Jesus taught in a variety of ways, but one of the methods I find ever-relevant and applicable to my daily life are his parables. Among his most famous is the Parable of the Sower featured in the three Synoptic Gospels.

In the parable, our Lord discusses how a farmer scatters seeds on different environments: a path with no soil, rocky ground, soil with thorns, and healthy soil. The seeds that fell on the path were swept away as they didn’t have a chance to take root. For the second and third set of seeds, they grew a bit but didn’t produce any fruit because of being in poor soil.

However, the seeds planted in good soil were able to produce a bountiful harvest. Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of this parable in Matthew 13:19-23:

19 The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart.

20 The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.

21 But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away.

22 The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit.

23 But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.

Putting the Parable into Practice

This parable provides insight into my marriage. I can only see the fruit when my heart grows in rich and healthy (spiritual) soil. These fruits include generosity, gratitude, kindness in word, thought, and deed. I experience increased patience and a more natural inclination to love my wife with a servant mindset.
What does a healthy spiritual soil look like?

God can grow a marriage in different ways, but what I’ve found to be the most common elements are regular prayer and sacramental living.

Daily prayer is important for the development and growth of a personal relationship with God. I pray in the morning, before meals, and before I go to sleep. This is the minimum, and doesn’t take a ton of time. I believe God values the intent far more than the amount of time a person commits to prayer.

I also make it a habit to pray daily with my wife. My wife and I have worked split shifts for the past five years, and our shared prayer life has struggled at times. We make a point to always pray together at least once a day.

Nourish Marriage with Sonlight

Along with proper soil, plants require sunlight to grow. The same is true for marriage. Well, except you need something more: S-O-N-L-I-G-H-T.

See what I did there?

We learn in John 8:12 and 9:5 that Jesus is the Light of the World. He radiates the love of God the Father to the rest of the Body of Christ. While the best way to receive his graces is through the sacrament of the Eucharist, it’s important to remember the sometimes underrated approach to getting direct Sonlight: Eucharistic Adoration.

In the Mass, the bread and wine are transformed into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus. And the best part? A consecrated host remains as the Real Presence of Jesus after Mass.

This is where Eucharistic Adoration comes in. Most parishes set aside a time to expose the Blessed Sacrament on the altar for worship. Visiting Jesus in this special way warms my heart with His Divine Love. During Adoration, I sometimes read a theology book, the Sunday Gospels, or I simply pray in silence. I try visiting Our Lord once a week on Thursdays.

It’s amazing to see how my heart is changed and how I view my marriage differently after basking in the Divine Sonlight.

Remain Close to the True Vine

While soil and light are the primary ingredients for plant nourishment, the channel by which the leaves are fed is through the central stem or trunk.

Jesus referred to Himself as the True Vine. He said this plainly in John 15:1, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.” Our Lord went on to describe how branches that remain with the true vine produce fruit and those that don’t die and need to be pruned.

Remaining with Jesus helps my marriage flourish. I talked already about the importance of visiting Jesus through Eucharistic Adoration. Receiving Jesus’ Body and Blood in the Eucharist is how I remain with Him. Taking care of plants is simple, but it requires time, patience, and diligence. The same is true for developing a marriage. God gave me, and all of us, the Catholic Church who acts as the guide for how to grow in holiness and remain close to the True Vine.

In conclusion, I strive to nurture a holy and evergreen marriage by cultivating the right spiritual environment, just as a plant needs fertile soil, sunlight, and a connection to the vine. By establishing a rich prayer life, frequently receiving the sacraments (especially the Eucharist), and spending time in Eucharistic Adoration, I seek to deepen my relationship with Christ, the True Vine.

I do my best to remain rooted in Him, so His divine love will nourish my marriage and enable it to bear abundant fruit and withstand the challenges of life. With patience, diligence, and a commitment to growing together in holiness, I believe these practices will help my marriage flourish and thrive, reflecting the beauty and joy of God’s design.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

February 26, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

Convalidation

Couples Catholic Marriage, Couples Catholic Weddings, Couples Marriage Prep

Read Time: 5 minutes

“Of course we will do a Catholic marriage service. Do you want to do a Latin Mass?”

This was the first sentence from my Protestant fiancé as we sat down to figure out what our marriage ceremony would look like.

Branden and I had spent the last two days of our fresh engagement basking in the joy of this new chapter and calling our dear ones to share the good news. When we came down from the high of being newly engaged, we sat down to make a game plan for the actual wedding day.

Making Plans for the Wedding

We had secured the date December 5th (but not the 4th because that was already Jay-Z’s birthday), and we knew who we wanted to stand up with us. When I asked Branden what type of ceremony he would want, he surprised me by stating we would have our ceremony within the Catholic Church and even asked about a Latin Mass.

I felt so honored and supported, and it was really a significant moment for me in our relationship.

Branden was (and is) a Lutheran pastor. He not only serves a local church, but he is also incredibly involved in many parts of his synod (the Lutheran version of our Catholic diocese).

For him to be fully on board with a Catholic service was a big deal!

While I desired to be married in the Catholic Church, I could see the sacrifices he would be making as an ordained member of his church. Also, nearly all of my dear Catholic friends, colleagues, and connections were over 700 miles away in Minnesota.

Making Choices for Now and Later

After considering both of our strong ties to our churches and that our family and friends were miles apart, we came up with three options:

We could fly to Minnesota and have our ceremony there and do marriage prep online, but then our elderly relatives from Michigan could not attend.
We could have a Lutheran ceremony now to honor the connections to his church and be married in a more intimate Catholic ceremony later, but who would be invited to both?
We could throw our plans to the wind and elope, but we were both pretty sure none of our relatives would support this choice, and we didn’t want to face their wrath after our big day.

We ultimately decided on option #2, and on a beautiful December day, we packed a local Lutheran church with our friends and family while we said our handwritten vows to one another. It was a joyful and prayerful time.

The day was incredibly lovely, and we were so thrilled to be surrounded by this melting pot of people who showered us in love and support.

While that ceremony was a treasured time in our relationship, I was eager to move forward with our marriage in the Catholic Church.

However, we had spent all our planning energy making sure everything was in order for our Lutheran ceremony, and we had no capacity to plan anything else because wedding planning is just A LOT! Time slipped away from us as we transitioned from engaged to married (which is also A LOT), and planning our Catholic ceremony was placed on the back burner for the next 9 months.

Preparing for Convalidation

In August of that year, I began working as a youth minister at a local Catholic parish. Through various conversations, it came up organically that I wasn’t married in the Catholic Church, and a co-worker lovingly approached me and asked, “Would you prayerfully consider having your marriage convalidated?”

Having an external force bring up my (now buried) desire was exactly what I needed to start planning again.

I brought it up to Branden (who still hadn’t fully recovered from wedding planning), and the idea of planning a second wedding seemed insurmountable to him. I reassured him that this would be a more intimate affair and that the real significance was having our marriage valid in the eyes of my church, the universal Church.

Convalidation is when a civil marriage becomes licit under the Code of Canon law of the Catholic Church.

It’s what brings the sacramental graces into the marriage and fully brings it under the authority of Jesus Christ. These were all factors I knew I wanted and needed for our marriage.

Branden and I both agreed that a healthy marriage needed to be under God’s grace to thrive. However, this was challenging for my Protestant husband.

Why was his church not “valid enough”? I explained it wasn’t a matter of “good enough”, but that these were the instructions of the Catholic Church, a church to which I belonged, and wanted to honor as the church instituted by Christ (this led to a fascinating debate about Luther, Constantine, St. Peter, and various translations of the word “rock”).

Ultimately, we decided to move forward, and we picked a date in May for our marriage to be convalidated.

Experiencing Convalidation

To prepare fully for convalidation, we met several times with our deacon and went through some questions together. We also took the online course Living Our Faith in Love through The Marriage Group. Although we had gone through something similar with the Lutheran church, we felt ourselves encountering new material and addressing some topics with greater depth.

Once the education portion was complete, we had to track down the certificates we received after baptism and confirmation, along with our civil marriage certificate, verifying that neither of us had been previously married. These certificates were inspected by our deacon and then sent to the canon lawyer for our diocese. It took about 4 weeks to have our paperwork processed and approved. Once we got that approval, we were good to go!

On May 27th, we had 8 people gather around us as we met in an Eucharistic chapel with stunning stained glass. Our daughters got to be flower girls again which was the absolute highlight of their day. We read through scripture, our deacon gave a moving homily, and we said our traditional vows as the deacon directed us. Our rings were blessed, and we sealed our marriage with a kiss!

When compared to our Lutheran ceremony, the Catholic wedding was peacefully reverent. While it happened with much less fanfare, I felt the same amount of joy. Being connected and celebrated in the Church brought a fullness to our marriage. Both of our faith traditions were honored, and I got to wear TWO wedding dresses. All in all, we agree that it was a very good decision to have our marriage convalidated.

The Marriage Group’s online Pre-Cana course, Living Our Faith In Love, is 5-star rated by couples and used in parishes in every U.S. diocese and over 90 countries. Join thousands of other couples who are building a strong marriage with our faithful, flexible, and fun course today!

October 23, 2023/by Alonna Hunt