Couples Archives - The Marriage Group

Harvest Holiness: October Saints Nurture Marital Love

Read Time: 4 minutes

As the leaves turn vibrant shades of red and gold, October brings not just the beauty of autumn but also a spiritual bounty for married couples. My wife’s birthday falls during this month, reminding me of the precious gift of marriage God has blessed us with. It’s also a time rich with feast days of saints who can offer profound wisdom for our marital journeys.

Seasons of Change, Unchanging Love

October is a month of transition. It starts with trees full of colorful leaves and ends with bare branches, colder weather, and earlier sunsets. This changing of seasons can be symbolic of the various phases our marriages go through. Just as nature prepares for the coming winter, we too can weather the changing seasons of our relationships by recentering our focus on the Unchanging One—God.

As Joshua 24:15 reminds us, “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” This commitment to serving God together can be our anchor through all of life’s transitions. Most of our adult lives occur in this “not-yet-at-the-end” period, much like October leading into November and the end of the liturgical year. The honeymoon or springtime of marriage goes by so quickly, and it’s easy to fall prey to the temptation of judging our marriage solely by how we feel in the moment. Instead, let’s look to the saints and our faith to guide us through each season.

The Month of the Holy Rosary

October is dedicated to the Most Holy Rosary, a powerful tool for strengthening our marriages. Saint Louis de Montfort wisely advised, “Recite your Rosary with faith, with humility, with confidence, and with perseverance.” These qualities—faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance—are not only crucial for praying the Rosary but also for nurturing a strong, lasting marriage. Consider making the Rosary a part of your daily routine as a couple, allowing Mary’s intercession to guide your relationship. Now, let’s explore how five remarkable saints, celebrated in October, can illuminate and strengthen your marriage:

1. St. Thérèse of Lisieux (October 1)

The Little Flower’s wisdom is a balm for any marriage. She taught that it’s not the grandeur of our actions but the love behind them that matters. In the daily grind of married life, it’s easy to focus on tasks and forget the loving intention behind them. Whether it’s doing the dishes or planning a date night, St. Thérèse reminds us to infuse every action with love for our spouse.

2. Guardian Angels (October 2)

Every night, my children and I pray to our guardian angels before bed. This practice can be a beautiful addition to your family routine, fostering a sense of divine protection over your household. As a couple, consider praying together for your angels’ guidance in your relationship. The Catechism reminds us that “human life is surrounded by their watchful care and intercession” (CCC 336). Imagine the power of heavenly beings watching over your marriage!

3. St. Francis of Assisi (October 4)

Francis’s radical embrace of poverty can inspire us to examine our priorities in marriage. Are we too focused on material possessions? How can we simplify our lives to focus more on each other? His famous prayer, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,” is a beautiful mantra for married couples, encouraging us to bring harmony to our relationships and homes.

4. St. Maria Faustina (October 5)

St. Faustina’s teachings on Divine Mercy transformed my wife’s faith journey and ultimately led to her conversion to Catholicism. In marriage, mercy is crucial. Faustina’s insights can help us view our spouse through God’s eyes of mercy, fostering forgiveness and compassion. Her words, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul,” can provide comfort during challenging times in your marriage.

5. St. Teresa of Avila (October 15)

Teresa’s spiritual classic, “The Interior Castle,” offers a roadmap for deepening our spiritual lives. As married couples, we can journey together through this “interior castle,” supporting each other’s growth in faith. Teresa’s teachings on prayer can enrich your spiritual intimacy as a couple.

Embracing Saintly Wisdom in Your Marriage

These saints offer us a treasure trove of wisdom for our marriages. Here are some practical ways to incorporate their teachings:

Create a prayer corner in your home with images of these saints, reminding you of their examples.
Choose one saint each week to focus on as a couple. Read about their lives and discuss how their teachings apply to your marriage.
Pray the Rosary together daily, following St. Louis de Montfort’s advice to do so with faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance.
Practice small acts of love and mercy towards each other daily, inspired by St. Thérèse and St. Faustina.
Simplify an area of your life together, following St. Francis’s example.
Reflect on the changing seasons and how they mirror the phases of your marriage. Use this as an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment to serving God together.

As we journey through October, let’s allow these saintly companions to guide us. Their examples of love, mercy, simplicity, and deep faith can transform our marriages, leading us closer to each other and to God. Remember, as St. Teresa of Avila said, “God alone suffices.” When we center our marriages on Him, with the saints as our guides, we build a foundation that can weather any storm.

May this October be a time of spiritual renewal for your marriage, a “second spring” where every moment of love between you blossoms like the colorful leaves of autumn. As the world around us changes, let your love for each other and for God remain constant, a beacon of warmth and light as we move towards the colder months. Embrace this transitional time as an opportunity to deepen your bond, knowing that with faith and perseverance, your marriage can thrive.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

September 30, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

1) What is Natural Family Planning?

Natural Family Planning is a method of achieving or avoiding pregnancy that does not involve artificial means. Natural Family Planning (NFP) relies on the female body’s natural cycles to identify fertility. NFP is also called Fertility Awareness. Because every woman’s natural cycles are different and can even change month to month, monitoring, charting, and awareness are part of practicing NFP.

When using Natural Family Planning, couples will abstain from intercourse for a few days before ovulation and for a time after ovulation to avoid pregnancy. For those trying to achieve pregnancy, they will have intercourse during the time of maximum fertility.

No other means of contraception are used if a couple is practicing Natural Family Planning.

Natural Family Planning is completely free, but there may be costs associated with educational courses and tracking devices or apps.

2) Why does the Catholic Church teach Natural Family Planning?

Catholic couples make a vow to be open to life in their marriage. There is no expectation that couples would have children or have a certain number of children. The Church understands that most couples cannot have baby after baby for all of their reproductive years for a variety of reasons.

Having an openness to life, but using natural cues to avoid or postpone pregnancy, is acceptable to the Catholic Church; therefore, Natural Family Planning is endorsed and taught by the Church.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops says, “The Catholic Church supports the methods of Natural Family Planning (NFP) because they respect God’s design for married love. In fact, NFP represents the only authentic approach to family planning available to husbands and wives because these methods can be used to both attempt or avoid pregnancy.”

Find Out More Here

3) Why is Natural Family planning Morally Acceptable?

Natural Family Planning does not present any risk to the users. Surgical, chemical, and device-based birth control methods all have potential side effects.

Because Natural Family Planning leaves open the possibility of pregnancy, it is considered morally acceptable. There is also no chance of the ending of a pregnancy due to a drug or device that could contribute to a miscarriage.

NFP honors biology and nature and builds awareness and respect between a husband and wife. Spouses who use NFP in a healthy relationship can develop increased respect for each other. The exercise of periodic self-control of sexual impulses carries into different areas of marriage as spouses learn to put others’ needs before their own.

The Catholic Church teaches that the purpose of sex is unitive (brings the couple closer together on a spiritual level) and procreative (life could be created), therefore using sex for other purposes is not morally acceptable.

NFP is also completely free to use and is available to everyone.

More information on Catholic teaching on birth control and the sanctity of human life can be found in Humanae Vitae, the encyclical written in 1968 by Pope Paul IV.

The full document: https://www.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html.

Natural Family Planning also has no environmental impact. Chemical birth control has negative impacts on the environment as hormones can be excreted into the water supply.

4) How does Natural Family Planning Work?

Natural Family Planning involves a woman tracking her menstrual cycles and observing and recording her signs of fertility (cervical mucus, temperature, cervical position, and others).

The woman is trying to become aware of ovulation and be able to accurately predict it month after month. Sperm can live for three to five days after intercourse. An egg is viable for only 12-24 hours. So, a couple practicing NFP will abstain from sex for several days before expected ovulation and a day or two after ovulation to reasonably avoid pregnancy.

There are several methods of Natural Family Planning. According to the National Institutes of Health National Library of Medicine’s National Center for Biotechnology Information, those methods include:

Billings and Creighton Methods: These methods rely on the observation of cervical secretions. This method requires considerable instruction for effective use.
Two Day Method: This method is based on cervical secretions and is similar to the above. Couples abstain when secretions are present and for two days after.
Symptothermal Method: This method combines awareness of cervical secretions with basal body temperature monitoring. Charting and tracking are part of the method.
Marquette Model: This method combines monitoring of cervical secretions with using an electronic device to measure the levels of estrogen and luteinizing hormone (LH) in the urine.

There are other ways to monitor and track cycles and predict ovulation with apps. Some are intended for simple period tracking, while others are specifically for monitoring fertility.

Some examples of technology-based fertility monitoring include:

5) Which Natural Family Planning Method is Best?

The best Natural Family Planning method is the one that works best for the couple and fits their lifestyle. When used correctly, all NFP methods have about the same success rate.

Getting a clear understanding of all of the methods and the technology that can be used to support them (apps, websites, online courses) is the first step. Couples should take time to read about the methods well before marriage. A woman doesn’t have to be married to start monitoring her fertility. A man doesn’t have to be married to get educated about NFP and what it means for his future wife.

If a couple has a reason to avoid pregnancy, a method with more days of abstinence may be a better choice during that season of life. If a couple is open to pregnancy, but not actively trying to conceive, a method that requires less diligent tracking and abstinence may be the best choice.

Education, research, and preparation will help couples find the method of Natural Family Planning that works best for them as they enter into married life.

Some helpful websites include:

6) How can Natural Family Planning Benefit Marriage?

Natural Family Planning respects life – not just the life of a possible baby, but the life of the man and the woman in a marriage. Marriage is built on mutual respect and love and NFP is integral to that love and respect on the most intimate level. Couples have to be on the same page for Natural Family Planning to work.

With NFP, sex is not meant to be a chore or a meaningless habit, nor is it self-serving or selfish. Because there is an openness to life, it is always special, and it is always intentional and unitive. Couples have to communicate with each other about the most intimate things, so there is increased closeness and sharing. Studies show that couples who use NFP have the same frequency of sexual intercourse or more than couples using artificial birth control.

7) Why is Natural Family Planning part of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana?

NFP is part of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana because intimacy and sex are important parts of marriage. Learning how to use the gift of sexuality for both creating new life and becoming closer as a married couple is vital to a healthy marriage.

For many years, married couples gave up on NFP because of a lack of accessible information. The days of NFP being a mystery are over. Reliable science-based and user-friendly NFP is easy to access and is a natural fit and an essential component of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana.

8) How effective is Natural Family Planning?

Natural Family Planning methods have been demonstrated to be effective ways to achieve or postpone pregnancy. Failure rates range from .4% to 25%, but there are many variables.

According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, “The symptothermal method, which monitors basal body temperature, cervical secretions, cervical position, and cycle patterns to predict periods of fertility, has been proven effective: its failure rate is 0.4 percent per year with perfect use, and 7.5 percent per year with typical use.

The effectiveness of the TwoDay method rivals that of condoms: with perfect use, the TwoDay Method has a 4 percent annual rate of unintended pregnancy compared with 2 percent for condoms; with typical use, 14 percent compared with 18 percent for condoms.” The full article can be found here: https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2012/1115/od1.html.

9) Why does Natural Family Planning Fail?

The main reason that Natural Family Planning sometimes fails to prevent pregnancy is user error. Couples may have been poorly instructed or misunderstood the instructions. Another reason for the failure of NFP is that the couple ignored the instructions and had intercourse too close to ovulation to avoid pregnancy.

10) How can you learn more about Natural Family Planning?

The Marriage Group offers a fully online and on-demand course in Natural Family Planning. The course covers the reasons the Catholic Church endorses NFP, the science behind it, and the benefits of NFP.

Some parishes and dioceses offer NFP courses, as do some Catholic healthcare facilities. A great resource is on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops website: https://www.usccb.org/topics/natural-family-planning/find-nfp-class.

NFP Life^® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

September 19, 2025/by Jennie McClelland

How to Discern Marriage as a Catholic

Couples, Couples Catholic Weddings, Couples Marriage Prep

Read Time: 5 minutes

Discernment is More Than “Deciding”

Discernment is more than just deciding what to do. God has a plan for your life, but it’s up to you to figure out what that plan is. God calls some people to lead his Church through the vocation of Holy Orders. Some are called to single life or religious life as consecrated men and women. Many are called to marriage. Discerning God’s call for your life takes prayer, an open heart, and listening.

If you feel called to marriage, be assured that it is a worthy vocation on the same level as becoming a priest or nun! The Sacraments of Marriage and Holy Order (priesthood) form the group of sacraments called Sacraments of Service because the whole point is to serve others. When you are called to marriage, you are called to serve your spouse and to have their spirit and salvation as your highest calling.

Discerning Who You Will Marry?

Once you’ve discerned that marriage is your calling, the big question is who you will marry. Answering that question takes time, prayer, and patience.

To be true to God’s calling for your life, you need to be true to yourself. To discern, you need to know who you really are. While you may long for the companionship of marriage, marriage is not intended to be the answer to everything. God is the only one who can completely fulfill your need for love. Placing that responsibility on another person will only lead to disappointment.

Giving yourself time to develop a prayer life, a strong relationship with God, and healthy friendships will set you up for success in finding your future spouse. Good friends who are “on the same page” spiritually will be invaluable resources in helping you discern your relationship with a potential spouse. Growing in your relationship with God and friends will teach you how to care for others, accept and give forgiveness, and become a better communicator.

Building a Foundation of Discernment

People change and evolve as they get older and go through experiences. You are not the same person today as you were last year. Putting the work into discernment makes you able to grow and adapt alongside others as you live life together. If you build a foundation of prayer, listening, and patience it can prepare you for your future marriage, even if you don’t yet know who and if you will marry.

How Do You Practice Discernment?

Pray!

Here’s a prayer from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops that may help you on your journey of discernment:

“Lord, my God and my loving Father, you have made me to know you, to love you, to serve you, and thereby to find and to fulfill my deepest longings. I know that you are in all things, and that every path can lead me to you.

But of them all, there is one especially by which you want me to come to you. Since I will do what you want of me, I pray you, send your Holy Spirit to me: into my mind, to show me what you want of me; into my heart, to give me the determination to do it, and to do it with all my love, with all my mind, and with all of my strength right to the end. Jesus, I trust in you. Amen”

https://www.usccb.org/prayers/prayer-discern-vocation

Learn.

Learn about Catholic marriage. Look for couples who model healthy marriages. Ask them questions. Create in your mind a picture of what you want your marriage to look like. Think about how to attract and be attracted to someone who shares your vision of marriage. Is it a church group, an online community, or a Christian dating app? Project the YOU that tells the real story of the marriage you desire and feel called to be in.

Work on yourself.

We all have issues. Go to church. Go to counseling. Read spiritual books. Mend relationships. Getting your own “stuff” figured out puts you in a better place to truly discern the person you could spend the rest of your life with.

Be picky.

Don’t change who you are and what you feel called to be for a partner. He/she is not “the one” if you have to abandon your core beliefs to make it work with him/her.

How Do You Discern Marriage When You’re Already Engaged?

Do marriage prep, or Pre-Cana!

Catholic marriage prep, or Pre-Cana, goes beyond asking questions like, “When do you want to put up the Christmas tree?” or “How will we divide up the laundry?”. Catholic Marriage Prep will help you and your fiancé/e discuss the following topics:

Theology and Spirituality of Marriage,
Personal Values, Careers, and Practical Issues,
Money
Sex and Intimacy
Communication Skills and Conflict Resolution
Effective Communication
Family of Origin
Natural Family Planning (NFP)

If the Pre-Cana process brings you even closer together and spurs great conversations and insights, you are probably on the right track and can feel confident about future marriage. If things are not going well during Pre-Cana, you, as a couple, have time to either work things out prayerfully and seriously or perhaps to postpone or cancel your wedding.

Pre-Cana is a great gift in that it uses time-tested methods to ask the questions that get to the heart of who you are as individuals and as a couple. Pre-Cana may bring up things you never thought about, or create space for you to talk about things you’ve been afraid to discuss.

The Marriage Group offers a fully online and on-demand marriage prep (Pre-Cana) course that can be used to help couples discern marriage. Couples can take it to meet their parish’s Pre-Cana requirement, or they can take it independently because they want to deepen their relationship. Some couples have even used the course to discern engagement, taking it while dating to better understand their relationship and where it is headed.

All couples should take the time to prayerfully and seriously discern God’s calling for their lives. Marriage, like all vocations, has its beauties and its challenges, but a proper period of discernment is an essential part of following the calling.

The Marriage Group’s online Pre-Cana course, Living Our Faith In Love, is 5-star rated by couples and used in parishes in every U.S. diocese and over 90 countries. Join thousands of other couples who are building a strong marriage with our faithful, flexible, and fun course today!

September 10, 2025/by Jennie McClelland

What is Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana is the process through which engaged couples prepare for marriage. It has practical, emotional, financial, social, and spiritual components. Pre-Cana is a term used by the Catholic Church to describe the marriage preparation process specifically related to a couple celebrating sacramental marriage in the church. In the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament and therefore it is permanent. That’s why it’s so important to prepare couples for this lifelong commitment.

Why is it called Pre-Cana?

Cana was a city in ancient Galilee where Jesus performed his first miracle: turning water into wine at a wedding. Mary, the mother of Jesus, noticed that the wine was running out at the wedding celebration, and she asked Jesus to help out. At first, Jesus resisted his mother’s request, but she said to the servers at the wedding, “Do whatever he tells you”. Jesus then turned at least 120 gallons of water into fine wine. This miracle was the first of many that revealed Jesus’ glory as the Son of God. The story is recorded in the Bible, and you can find it in the Gospel of John, chapter 2.

What does “Pre-Cana” mean?

Pre-Cana is what happens “before the wedding”. Cana was a turning point for Jesus. The wedding is a turning point for those called to the vocation of sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church. Jesus spent his youth and young adulthood gathering his followers, learning, and discerning. Those experiences prepared him for his world-changing ministry, which began with the miracle of changing water into wine, under the direction of his mother, at the wedding at Cana.

The “Pre-Cana” that a couple does before they actually say their wedding vows and start living as a married couple helps prepare them for a happy and fulfilling marriage.

How does Pre-Cana Work?

When a couple meets with their parish priest or deacon to start planning their wedding, they will learn what types of Pre-Cana are required by that parish or diocese. Sometimes there are multiple options for Pre-Cana. Some are weekend programs or retreats while others are a series of in-person classes. Another option is a fully online Pre-Cana program like the one offered by The Marriage Group. Couples may choose to do an online Pre-Cana program on their own as further preparation for their marriage even after attending an in-person preparation class.

Pre-Cana often begins at least six months before the intended wedding. Some couples are paired with a sponsor couple to help them through the process.

Pre-Cana courses include a series of topics ranging from communication, future goals, family of origin, intimacy and sexuality, Natural Family Planning (NFP) and others. Many parishes require a pre-marriage inventory as well, which uses science to find areas for further discussion based on couples’ responses to questions.

Couples need to prove that they have completed all of the required Pre-Cana steps for a priest or deacon to agree to officiate the marriage ceremony in the Catholic Church. Certificates of completion are issued when all the requirements of a Pre-Cana course are met.

Is Pre-Cana required?

Yes! Marriage is a serious commitment. Married people are living a sacramental vocation, just as priests and nuns and others who take vows to live a religious life. There is a process to become a priest, nun, deacon, monk, or other religious person. There is also a process to discern marriage.

Engaged couples can’t skip Pre-Cana. People who have been previously married are required to take the Pre-Cana course if they want to have their marriage blessed by the Church or convalidated. Couples who are already cohabitating are also required to take the Pre-Cana course.

Online courses are a good option for couples that are separated by distance, have incompatible schedules, are in the military, or have other reasons that make in-person Pre-Cana difficult.

Upon completion of Pre-Cana, engaged couples will have a deeper understanding of themselves and each other and often refer back to what they learned in Pre-Cana throughout their married lives.

How long does Pre-Cana take?

The Marriage Group offers a comprehensive, fully on-line, on-demand Pre-Cana course that can be completed in about 8 hours. The course includes online videos, discussion guides, and His and Hers Discussion Guides. The course is flexible for every schedule, faithful to Catholic teaching, and fun for couples to use. The course is in the list of approved programs by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, USCCB.

Some in-person Pre-Cana instruction is stretched out over several months and involves working with sponsor couples. Some courses are completed at a weekend retreat. Details of those Pre-Cana courses are usually found on the website of the parish or diocese hosting the event.

Where do you do Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana can be done in a few ways. Some parishes or dioceses offer weekend retreats that fulfill the Pre-Cana requirements. There are also in-person Pre-Cana classes that are offered at locations within dioceses. Some parishes will have sponsor couples facilitate Pre-Cana instruction with engaged couples.

Pre-Cana can also be done online. The Marriage Group offers an 8-hour course that is trusted and listed as a resource on the website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. The course can be done on-demand and includes a certificate of completion at the end. This option is preferred by couples that want more privacy for their instruction, are separated by distance, have busy schedules, or many other reasons. The Marriage Group’s Pre-Cana course includes comprehensive videos with a variety of content including an online community and events.

Online Pre-Cana can also supplement in-person Pre-Cana requirements to get engaged couples started on a marriage full of happiness, fulfillment, and grace. For couples who want more than just a weekend experience, The Marriage Group provides an online community called Marriage Every Day for all Catholic couples who want to grow in their relationship.

Can you do Pre-Cana online?

Yes! Thousands of couples around the world have used The Marriage Group’s fully online and on-demand Pre-Cana program to fulfill the requirements of their parish. Couples should ask their priest, deacon, or other parish representative if an online course is allowed. The Marriage Group’s representative will reach out to a priest or deacon if they need more information to approve the use of the course.

Online courses cover all of the same topics as in-person courses and allow for greater privacy and deeper reflection on concerning topics. Online courses offer flexibility for couples with complicated schedules, geographic separation, and other situations.

Can you fail Pre-Cana?

No. If you give Pre-Cana your best effort, you “passed”. Most couples find that Pre-Cana is a cherished experience and reminds them why they want to get married in the first place. Every couple will face conflicts and disagreements. Pre-Cana courses give couples the tools to handle conflicts when they arise and to keep working toward a stronger and more satisfying marriage.

These skills provide a foundation for a healthy relationship, and it’s best to continue the growth by actively working on these skills. The best way to do that is to continue connecting with relationship-building activities like books, classes, and communities that promote healthy relationships.

It is possible that Pre-Cana will reveal that it’s best to delay marriage until you work some things out. In rare cases, a priest may decide not to bless a marriage if there are grave concerns about the couple and their readiness for a permanent sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church.

What is the point of Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana prepares couples for marriage in the Catholic Church. Pre-Cana is a course that provides instruction on topics like communication, future goals, intimacy, Natural Family Planning (NFP), and others. It also provides many opportunities for discussion, understanding, and listening between engaged couples.

The point of Pre-Cana is to give couples a healthy start and to make sure they understand the seriousness of the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church.

Pre-Cana classes are offered in a variety of ways from weekend retreats to a series of courses with a mentor couple to fully online and on-demand courses such as the one offered by The Marriage Group. The Marriage Group’s Pre-Cana Course, Living Our Faith In Love, takes around 8 hours to complete and is listed as a resource on the website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

The Marriage Group’s online Pre-Cana course, Living Our Faith In Love, is 5-star rated by couples and used in parishes in every U.S. diocese and over 90 countries. Join thousands of other couples who are building a strong marriage with our faithful, flexible, and fun course today!

September 5, 2025/by Jennie McClelland

Indescribable Joy

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 4 minutes

My Son’s First Reconciliation Journey

What does indescribable joy feel like? Well, this is something that I experienced when my son celebrated his First Reconciliation a few weeks ago. It was a Saturday before his First Communion, and he had a First Reconciliation service.

For a couple of hours, there were some stations that the first communicants were participating in along with their parents, which were highlighting various parts of the Sacrament of Confession.

So we did all those, and there’s just such great beauty in the sacrament.

We talked about the connection to the Sacrament of Baptism, the fact that the first communicants would be wearing a white garment over their first communion outfits. As an outward sign of the invisible garment that they received or they were clothed in with Baptism.

Reconciliation is a way where that baptismal garment is renewed, it’s cleansed again of any sin that a person commits after Baptism. Reconciliation is that sacrament of mercy.

It’s something that God’s mercy is so bountiful that he doesn’t want to hold back.

He welcomes you back with open arms, and he meets you.

He runs towards you.

Much like that image of the forgiving father in the parable of the prodigal son.

An Overwhelming Wave of Emotions

As I was standing in the confessional line with my son, I experienced just an incredible wave of emotion. I had such immense joy, and the only way I could describe it was, there was this joy that originated, that started in my heart, in my innermost being.

It started to radiate out of me, in a way that it couldn’t escape out of my body, except through my tears.

There was a trembling, a deep reverence I felt for God, a deep sense of gratitude that overwhelmed me entirely. My mind, my body, my soul, my heart. It eventually burst forth through tears. Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of sorrow for those times where I did not see, or did I not show myself the best role model for my son, and the times that I failed him and God.

The Light of the Resurrection

So there were all of these emotions, and it was that sense where it was bursting out of me, but in a sense, kind of like how the light burst out of Jesus. At the Resurrection, Jesus was transformed completely, while still retaining his earthly body with its scars and wounds.

This image came to mind as a representation of the light we receive at confession, which is contained within us as a foretaste of heaven.

I couldn’t contain this light, and it burst forth from me in the form of tears of joy.

Overcoming Obstacles with Faith

As I looked at my son, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and pride in what he was doing. He was nervous about confession, and it had been a journey for our family. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at 18 months, he struggled to communicate his needs.

We went through countless therapy sessions over the years to help him reach the point where he could communicate effectively. The fact that he was able to stand before God in the Sacrament of Confession, through the priest, and experience that wonderful gift was something we once wondered if he would receive.

The Joy of First Communion

This past Saturday, when our son experienced his First Reconciliation, it foreshadowed the joy we felt seeing him receive Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament for the first time. God truly worked in me, bringing me to my knees, figuratively speaking.

I was overwhelmed with emotion, feeling the power of God in that moment. It’s difficult to describe, but it was like a burst of joy, light, gratitude, wonder, and awe.

A Message of Perseverance and Faith

I must admit that I’m not always the best father, and I have sought God’s mercy many times.

In that moment, I experienced a full spectrum of emotions, both sorrow and joy, highs and lows.

It was a beautiful thing.

What I took from this is that our faith stabilizes us, and it is worth it.

If you’re struggling with young children, unsure if you’re doing the right thing by taking them to Mass, and they don’t seem to get it, I encourage you to stick with it.

You’re doing better than you think you are.

You are showing up, being present, being consistent, even if you don’t feel God’s presence. It’s really just in the effort and continuing to show up week after week.

That daily prayer at night, before meals, asking God for help, even the times where you’re frustrated. And just thanking God for the moments, for the simple things. Those are the things that really help, that lead you to these monumental milestones, like First Reconciliation.

Conclusion

I really wanted to share a little bit about this experience I had, witnessing my son preparing for the Sacrament of Confession. It’s just been a joy to experience, and I’ve been meaning to share this story so much. I’ve had a variety of things that life has hit my family and me with. Vehicle issues, medical issues with my family, lots of struggle, anxiety.

But I had to share the good news, that God is so merciful.

He works in us, He works through the Catholic Church with administering the Sacrament, and it’s just a beautiful way to experience God. God bless you and your family!

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

March 17, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

How to Rejoice with Gratitude & Humility

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 5 minutes

The rite of Holy Matrimony is beautiful.

Not only for the day of the wedding, but it bears fruit for years to come. One of the sections I have constantly reflected on during my marriage is the pledge to be faithful in all circumstances.

Here’s an excerpt of that portion of the Marriage Rite.

The bridegroom says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

The bride says:

I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

While the strongest moments of my marriage have occurred through the suffering we endured together (miscarriages, medical issues, stress at work, etc), the high points are things I struggle to reflect on as deeply and celebrate more frequently.

I actually find it easier to be grateful to God for sustaining me during the valleys than to rejoice on the great mountaintops He brings me to.

This article will look at a few ways that my wife and I have learned to intentionally rejoice together with gratitude and humility for the many blessings God has bestowed upon us.

The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

It’s important to make a distinction between joy and happiness. While the thesaurus links the two as synonyms, there are key differences. Happiness is more of a fleeting feeling. It’s usually evoked by an external thing, person, or moment. But, it fades when the external stimuli goes away.

Joy is something far deeper and more long lasting. It dwells deeper, in the heart and in the soul.

According to Saint Paul VI in his encyclical on joy, Gaudete in Domino, “Christian joy is the spiritual sharing in the unfathomable joy, both divine and human, which is in the heart of Jesus Christ glorified.” The joy we receive (like all the other graces) in the sacrament of marriage is of supernatural origin.

Joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Gratitude is the Harbinger of Joy

While joy is a gift from God and not something we can conjure up on our own, we can prepare for receiving this gift. According to Blessed Solanus Casey, “Gratitude is the first sign of a thinking, rational creature.” Gratitude allows us to see our lives as a chapter of a grander story.

A good story.

A beautiful story.

A true story.

And a truly joyful story.

While happiness relies on the “good” things that happen to you, joy is a gift you can receive in good AND bad times. And gratitude is the soil by which the seed of joy is planted, grown, and come to fruition.

In my marriage, I have learned the power of gratitude, but it took years to realize it.

Early in our marriage, I shied away from suffering. I became bitter when things didn’t work out the way I planned or anticipated. This led to an ungrateful mindset, but then God sent my wife and I to the school of suffering.

We experienced several miscarriages (the most severe in 2014 and 2017), and our losses taught us (me specifically, as my wife has a more overall grateful heart) that life is not to be taken for granted.

Since those losses, I have learned the importance of being more grateful. Now, no matter how bad my day goes, I can look back and find something to be thankful for even if it’s not in the immediate moment.

Living Liturgically Provides a Foundation

Along with the suffering God blessed me and my family with over the years, receiving God’s graces through the liturgy has been a source of refreshment and strength. My wife and I developed strong devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary, in particular Mary Undoer of Knots.

A simple way we have lived liturgically is by having sacred art and statues in our home. The Christian home is the domestic church (or, as I like to call it, the micro-church). We also have found spiritual friendships with Saints Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, and Gerard of Majella.

To live liturgically is to seek to find God’s work throughout the year.

We set the foundation by attending Mass once a week on Sundays and on holy days of obligation. The next step we made was to celebrate our family’s “patron saints”. Days like April 29, September 21, and October 15 took on new meaning. They became days we looked forward to.

Frequent confession and Eucharistic adoration are other ways my wife and I have found to be fruitful for our spiritual life. Receiving God’s mercy and love in the sacramental life have helped to reorient us when life knocks us down. We recently had to deal with a broken vehicle and emergency medical needs for our daughter. But living liturgically has given my wife and I the ability to rejoice with gratitude and humility even amid our struggles.

It’s Not Easy

Rejoicing together with gratitude and humility is a challenge. Life’s suffering makes it difficult. However, these practices help us distinguish fleeting happiness from lasting joy. They cultivate gratitude on a daily basis. The Church’s liturgical rhythms anchor us to God’s unending faithfulness. It opens us up to joy’s supernatural gift.

In our darkest valleys, my wife and I maintain devotion to Mary and the saints. We frequently celebrate sacraments. We celebrate liturgical seasons in our home church. All of this together helps us rejoice and thank God for blessings. Our hope is that all couples would strive to embrace marriage’s joys and sorrows with grateful, humble hearts.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

March 14, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

5 Saints I Wish I Knew More About

Couples, Couples Catholic Marriage

Read Time: 5 minutes

At the start of my marriage…

One of the things I remembered talking about in marriage prep was the importance of making time for your spouse.

To carve out certain times of the day or week for quality time — putting the kids to bed early or having a babysitter watch them while you and your spouse go out on a date.

My wife and I could rarely hire a babysitter and with the diagnosis of our children with special needs it was a challenge for us to leave them in the care of someone we could trust.

Often, we had our parents help but since we moved in 2014 my mom and dad weren’t a mile or two away anymore.

We learned to be more strategic with our time: in-home date nights, making use of errands, or taking the kids to play in a park while we talked.

Along with wishing I invested more quality time with my wife at the beginning of my marriage I also wish I had a deeper relationship with several Catholic saints. Some of them I knew having gone to a Catholic school and others I learned about several years into my marriage.

Each of these 5 saints I regret not having found friendship earlier on. The aim of this article is to introduce you and your spouse to amazing holy role models and friends to learn from and reflect God’s love.

1. Teresa of Avila

In May 2018, my wife was pregnant with our fourth born child.

Months earlier we suffered our fourth miscarriage.

It was a loss that hurt us deeply and we were cautiously optimistic with this pregnancy. On Mother’s Day, my wife was experiencing signs that pointed to yet another miscarriage.

“I don’t think I can bear another loss,” my wife told me.

Feeling the same, I remember telling her, “The only thing we can do is pray. Let’s have our parish priest confer anointing of the sick. At least we can say we did everything in our power to save our child.”

We scheduled the Anointing of the Sick a few days later and asked for the intercession of Saint Teresa of Avila to help keep our unborn baby safe. Through God’s Providence our daughter survived the pregnancy and was born later that year.

We named her Avila after that tremendous saint.

The wisdom and sanctity of Saint Teresa has had a profound impact on my spiritual well-being for the past five years. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but I’m always comforted when I read her works.

Her prayer is most powerful:

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

2. Catherine of Siena

Along with Teresa of Avila, my daughter is named after Catherine of Siena. Her impact on my life has been great. A few years ago, I wrote an article about this saint as a model for addressing Church authority (it was during the news of the clergy scandal).

I read all of Catherine’s letters to the popes. What captured my attention was her ability to call out corruption with resolve while at the same time being charitable in her communication.

It was this balanced approach that helped influence my tone of voice and how I dealt with talking about hot-buttoned issues on social media. Reading Saint Catherine’s Dialogues was also quite insightful and drew me closer to the furnace of God’s love.

Learning about her patronage as those who suffered miscarriages was the final reason that compelled my wife and I to make her one of our family’s patron saints.

Catherine’s mantra, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire” are words I live by daily.

3. Philip Neri

While the first two saints provided more theological and spiritual support in my life and marriage, Saint Philip is a role model due to the joy he displayed. He is known as the patron saint of comedy.

Before I learned about this saint, I didn’t associate humor with holiness. During an especially intense period of suffering, I happened upon the awesomeness of Philip Neri.

The joyful spirit he exhibited inspires me and my wife to find hope even in the darkest of times.

4. Maria Faustina

The Polish nun had a profound impact on my wife’s conversion to Catholicism. In college she was introduced to this saint. Reading Saint Maria Faustina’s diary and praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy helped in her discernment to become Catholic.

In the early years of our marriage, I had a preliminary understanding of Saint Maria, but I wished I knew more about her prior to my marriage. She is an excellent guide to Jesus and trusting in His Providence.

5. Louis de Montfort

Finally, Saint Louis de Montfort had a strong influence on my faith life. While studying for my master’s degree in theology I came across his books The Secret of the Rosary and True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Both of these works deepened my understanding and relationship with the Mother of God.

My wife and I have leaned heavily on the Blessed Virgin Mary over the past dozen years and plan to continue to deepen our friendship with Her. She is the surest guide to Jesus. I can’t imagine how much stronger our early years of marriage would have been if I knew about Louis de Montfort (and his unique ability to draw you closer to Mary and Jesus) at the beginning of the sacrament!

Companionship of Saints

Our marital journey amidst the challenges of parenthood and special needs was enriched by the companionship of saints. Despite the obstacles in finding traditional quality time, we discovered innovative ways to nurture our relationship within our daily routines.

Through the intercession of Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, Philip Neri, Maria Faustina, and Louis de Montfort, we find strength, wisdom, and joy to persevere.

These saints not only inspire us but fundamentally shape our approach to life and relationships. Their examples of faith, charity, joy, and devotion enrich our spiritual journey and strengthen our bond with each other and with God. As we continue forward, we are grateful for their enduring friendship and intercession, guiding us towards deeper unity and holiness in our marriage and beyond.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

Marriage Every Day™ is the place for couples who want to have fun growing strong marriages. Community chats, free mini-courses, and engaging activities will help you build a marriage you love alongside thousands of couples just like you!

Learn more HERE.

March 10, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

NFP as a Path to Holiness

Couples, Couples NFP

Read Time: 5 minutes

Integrating Faith into Family Planning

NFP.

These three letters, standing for Natural Family Planning, represent the Catholic Church’s teaching on achieving or postponing pregnancy. Sometimes, NFP can sound like a burden rather than a blessing.

It is true that using NFP is not all sunshine and roses, and it does no one any good to sugarcoat the realities of NFP or any aspect of marriage. However, understanding the foundational virtues that support healthy Natural Family Planning can bring more beauty into the marriage relationship than most couples initially realize.

The Challenges of NFP

Marriage is hard.

Living life with another person and building a life and a family with them is hard. Charting can be challenging, especially during certain phases of a couple’s reproductive lives.

NFP is not as simple as abstaining from intercourse for a couple days each month.

There are many nuances to the instructions couples must learn and follow for every method. For example, when a woman is breastfeeding, the couple will need more support for charting as they navigate breastfeeding amenorrhea (the lack of cycles caused by breastfeeding temporarily suppressing ovulation) and the return of fertility.

Health conditions, medications, and even busy schedules can affect a woman’s cycle and the signs she relies on to determine fertility.

However, just because something is challenging, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful and fruitful.

Through the practice of Natural Family Planning, couples can experience something they may not have expected: good fruit in their spiritual lives.

Discerning Together

One of my favorite things about Natural Family Planning is month-to-month discernment. Couples don’t have to decide their intention in using NFP (meaning using their chosen method to either postphone or achieve pregnancy) forever.

They only need to decide how they will use it each cycle.

Unlike artificial methods, NFP allows couples to change their intention with ease. The couple trying to come off of a method of artificial contraception to achieve pregnancy would have to allow time for the woman’s cycle to regulate, and the woman may experience post-birth control syndrome.

However, the Creighton Model System, one of the NFP methods recommended by the Church, emphasizes that it is a method of true family planning, meaning it can be used to both achieve and postpone pregnancy.

All couples learning the system are given instructions for both avoiding and achieving pregnancy.

Growing in Discernment

Couples can also grow in their ability to discern or perceive God’s will in their lives as they make decisions regarding the planning of their family. I have found the principles of Ignatian discernment to be very helpful in my own life.

In addition, spending time in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament has been an important part of my own discernment of our family planning decisions.

By discerning their intention in using NFP, couples can grow in their ability to pray together, discuss their spiritual lives, and see God’s movement in their lives.

The practice of discernment applies to many situations couples face in the course of life and marriage.

Understanding Sacrificial Love

Couples can also grow spiritually as they practice responsible parenthood.

As Humanae Vitae states:

“With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.”

Growing a new life is both beautiful and physically and emotionally taxing. Understanding the realities of welcoming a child into your family is part of loving one another and your children well, even before a child is conceived.

Sacrificial love means placing your child’s (even before conception) and your spouse’s multifaceted needs before your own. Couples grow in sacrificial love when they consider all of these things and then discern to avoid or achieve pregnancy in a given season of life.

Accepting Suffering

In addition, couples experiencing infertility feel a great longing for a child that is not satisfied either temporarily or permanently. Couples who lose children to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death experience a profound grief which is often misunderstood by those around them.

Even without those heartaches, a couple avoiding pregnancy is not free of suffering.

They must lean into other ways besides intercourse to express their love during times of fertility. This suffering is greater for those who have more challenging charting situations as they may need to abstain from intercourse for longer periods of time.

Some couples avoiding pregnancy long for another child, but they cannot have more children for various reasons. Health conditions, medication side effects, upcoming surgeries, and many more issues may require couples to avoid pregnancy for a season, even if they don’t want to.

All of these seasons can be seen as manifestations of sacrificial love and opportunities to purge away selfishness, encourage mutual service in the couple, and help them align their wills with God’s even when it is difficult. In these periods of difficulty, couples can be drawn into the bleeding, suffering heart of Christ who longs to be united to us.

The True Meaning of Chastity

Through their use of Natural Family Planning, couples can grow in chastity. Chastity is an often-misunderstood virtue, and it isn’t just for single or engaged people. Everyone is called to chastity.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality…becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another” (paragraph 2337).

The Creighton Model refers to the acronym SPICE which stands for the different types of intimacy: spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative, communication, and emotional. Remembering those helps couples expand their understanding of their sexuality. Sexuality includes intercourse, but it is so much more than that. It also includes all the pathways that people can connect with each other, even with everyday things like prayer, holding hands, or discussing a great book together.

Through their use of NFP, couples can find ways to bond and strengthen their relationships that are non-genital in nature. Their understanding of intimacy broadens, as does their ability to connect on multiple levels.

The Fruit of Chastity

When couples avoid genital contact during fertile times because they are postponing or trying to avoid pregnancy, they are given the opportunity to grow in virtue and discipline. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“Chasity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy” (paragraph 2339).

Intercourse is neither over nor under-valued in sacramental married life. Couples grow in their appreciation of this beautiful way of expressing love by their growth in self-mastery. They are able to truly love each other rather than use each other for their own pleasure.

Couples who understand these aspects of Natural Family Planning are truly drawn closer to Jesus through the suffering endured during their fertility journey.

They are drawn closer to the Father as they discern His will for their lives and their family. They experience the works of the Holy Spirit through the blessing of children and the love they express through SPICE.

Together practicing these foundational virtues of Natural Family Planning can bring couples closer to God and help them live holier lives during their time on earth.

Article by Julie McKay, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

NFP Life^® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

March 7, 2025/by The Marriage Group Team

What You Didn’t Know about Natural Family Planning

Couples, Couples NFP

Read Time: 4 minutes

Children are a gift from the Lord. – Psalm 127:3

This reminder from Scripture is often underrated and forgotten, and conversations about planning your family in discernment with God need to have this understanding in mind.

Considering children can come up long before marriage prep even enters the picture.

“What if I can’t have kids?”

“What if I am infertile?”

“What if I have the same struggles as my parents with miscarriage, children, etc?”

These questions are often asked by women who are single or dating.

I sympathize greatly with those concerns because struggles with fertility can cause women to question their entire identity and their call towards spiritual or physical motherhood. So when these questions come up, I normally ask, “Why are you concerned about these things?”

The responses I get usually reveal that there is an understandable but irrational fear. Maybe a female friend or relative had fertility struggles. These women are afraid they will face the same thing. My follow up question is, “Do you chart?” When some unmarried women hear this, they cock their heads slightly and question why they should learn a method of natural family planning when they are even engaged. Others look at me intrigued.

“Well,” I normally begin, “a lot of your concerns can be identified even before you are married or are in marriage prep,” and at this point I typically see the light return to their eyes.

The Benefits of Charting

Beginning to chart, even before you are married, can provide a lot of hope for women.

While I can’t speak about other methods, the Creighton Model FertilityCare System can identify patterns indicative of infertility and other issues related to the cycle that can cause issues with having children some day.

For example, a woman’s chart can reveal problems with their progesterone, and the solution can be as easy as beginning a dose of bioidentical progesterone. That simple solution could fix the problem of miscarriage before it even happens. Although it isn’t the only one, low progesterone is often the culprit behind miscarriage.

On the other hand, a woman’s chart can reveal something that seems totally normal with no indicators of infertility, which can help put women at ease. This is just one of many examples that the Creighton Model System can help with.

For those who are navigating the marriage prep world, charting is also a really helpful tool to discern whether there is a serious reason to avoid a pregnancy, or which days can be selected for a baby to potentially enter the picture.

It can be exciting and nerve wrecking all at the same time to begin charting while planning a wedding, but I can tell you that it can also help put the fears and anxieties about fertility struggles to rest, or give a woman time to work on anything problematic in her chart before marriage begins.

It’s an important time to reflect on the fact that fertility, children, and their potential spouse are all a gift from God.

Navigating Disappointment

Now, there are times when couples and single women can get discouraged about not being able to have kids.

It’s important for them to feel those emotions and grieve where they need to. It’s painful to feel like you are losing a dream, but it’s also important to remember that ultimately children are a gift from God, and not something that can be forced. Couples in this position should seek out help (support from friends/mentors, Napro doctors, and others) so they can realize there’s still a sense of hope, and God is ultimately the one in charge.

Whether they are learning to track their cycles, trying to achieve or postpone pregnancy, dealing with infertility, or even conceiving a child, I’ve seen women and couples fall into two traps.

They forget that their fertility is a gift from God, and/or they wrongly assume that they are guaranteed to have a child during the exact cycle they are ready to conceive.

The desire for children is good. However, a child is a gift, which is given, not a piece of property to own.

When expectations don’t meet reality, and this comes in many forms throughout life, it can lead to severe disappointment and even resentment.

It is wonderful for women and couples to be aware of their fertility, to participate in it properly in the various stages of life, but ultimately, they need to learn to surrender the outcome to the Lord, even when the outcome is having, or not having, children.

Pray, Connect, and Breathe…

So, what is a couple (or single woman realizing that her chart shows likely infertility) supposed
to do in times where they are struggling with their fertility?

Pray. This is a time to grow closer to God in prayer and be honest with him. This doesn’t mean that prayers need to sound like perfectly wrapped Christmas presents with a bow on top…God wants our hearts, our desires, and our honesty with Him. We can tell Him how we feel, and give Him space to speak into our wounded hearts.
Spouses can grow in intimacy in new ways. In the Creighton Model System, we have something called SPICE, which stands for the spiritual, physical (not exclusive to intercourse), creative/communicative, and emotional aspects to the human person. These concepts remind couples that they can learn and grow even during times of difficulty.
Find support – your priest, the parish Family Life Director, family, friends, or other couples in your parish community who have been through this experience.
I end almost every list similar to this with the same advice – grab a latte, your favorite whipped cream, and breathe.

To quote Julian of Norwich, “all shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

Whether a woman is nursing her first baby, single and trying to navigate how cycles function, or engaged or newlywed and excited for marriage, it is important to never lose hope.

With prayer, time, and support, hope can become clearer and more real every day.

Article by Anna Murphy, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

NFP Life^® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

March 3, 2025/by The Marriage Group Team

Parenting Neurodivergent Children

Couples, Married

Read Time: 5 minutes

3 Lessons I’ve Learned

“I just want something good to happen in my life.”

I distinctly recall saying this to my wife on a midsummer evening in early 2015. We were still reeling from a tragic year. New city. New jobs. Lots of change. That’s stressful by itself, but God allowed us to experience so much more…sickness and death.

We lost our unborn child, Jeremiah, in November 2014.

I didn’t have the time to deal with the grief; as a new teacher I was constantly trying to stay afloat with the curriculum, grading, lesson plans, etc. Finally in the spring of 2015, the despair caught up to me emotionally. Like a slow-acting poison, the grief paralyzed me.

In the middle of the pain, I was blinded to the blessings God gave me. I thought nothing good was happening, but clearly that was wrong! A couple weeks later, we found out my wife was pregnant. After some discussion, we settled upon the name Josiah for our rainbow baby. Little did I realize how providential this name was (and still is). His name literally translates to mean “Healer”.

This same summer we had our oldest son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at the age of 4.

Some people expressed concerns to us about having him “labeled” because it would stick with him for life.

We thought differently.

We believe a diagnosis is a doorway to helpful services; it’s about accuracy.

We wanted to provide the best options for him.

Without an accurate diagnosis, we wouldn’t be able to get the most appropriate help.

Parenthood has taught me so much. It has compelled me to grow (sometimes begrudgingly), and it shows me the power of God.

Parenting neurodivergent children has deepened my ability to find God in the ordinary.

What is Neurodivergence?

Neurodivergence refers to when someone’s brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered “typical”. Often used in the context of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this framework encompasses a wide range of ways that people think differently.

I want to make a caveat before I continue; I’m not a psychologist or neurologist so please don’t take my experience with neurodivergence as clinical advice. I’m only sharing as a neurodivergent parent (I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child) with neurodivergent children.

Lesson 1- It’s Okay to Be Different

While this is an obvious lesson and something I knew at the core of my being, it wasn’t actualized until I became a parent. I saw neurodiversity in a different way through the lens of a father vs. being neurodivergent myself.

My oldest son didn’t sleep through the night for consecutive nights until he was 3 years old. Even then, it was rare. We utilized all the “expert” tips and tricks: swaddle blankets, white noise, a regimented sleep routine.

It was easy to feel like a failure as a parent. I had people give me “advice” constantly and felt bombarded with reasons I should be able to get my kid to stay asleep. Though the advice came from a place of love, I initially interpreted it as criticism. This failure meant that I wasn’t a good parent.

Once we got an official diagnosis for our son, I felt relieved. We had answers… not all of them, but we were making progress. We began to understand that our son’s mind was running so quickly that his senses were continually overloaded. We were able to get him on a plan at school to get him the help he needed, and that continues to aid him today.

Lesson 2- Patience Makes Progress

When another son was diagnosed with autism, I learned a second lesson. I’m a recovering perfectionist. 100% or nothing; that was what I used to think. I viewed all mistakes as bad things. In reality, mistakes are First Attempts In Learning (F.A.I.L.), and learning takes a great deal of patience.

We had the benefit of knowing the signs to look for when we suspected this child also had autism.

The repetitive behaviors (stimming), sensory issues like water being too hot or cold during bathtime, and OCD-like rituals were familiar. We had our younger son diagnosed at 18 months. Early diagnosis is key, and I would argue it was life-giving.

My son couldn’t communicate his basic needs. This led to many meltdowns a day and even to him banging his head on the ground in frustration.

My wife and I felt trapped and fearful for his safety.

We longed to be able to do “normal” family activities like going to the pool and the store as a whole family.

Instead, “divide and conquer” became our strategy for accomplishing most things. One of us would stay at home with him while the other parent would take our older children out. It was far from a perfect system, but at the time it worked for our family.

Saint Teresa of Avila wrote, “Patience obtains everything.”

During that time, I learned how to slow down and celebrate the micro-milestones of my learning journey. God gave us the graces to accept help in the form of speech, physical, and occupational therapies. We went to appointments several times a week for several years.

We learned to thank God for small victories like our son attending to a task for more than five minutes, or walking him to and from our vehicle without him trying to run off to look at wheels because of his obsession with circles.

It was slow progress, but it was progress.

Lesson 3- Whoever Has God Lacks Nothing

Along with relearning it’s okay to be different and finding the joy in the journey through patience, parenting kids with special needs has taught me the power of God.

Total abandonment to Divine Providence: this was a concept I didn’t embrace until becoming a parent. It means giving yourself entirely over to God’s Will. In all things, not just the big asks like finances or health but even in the minutiae of life.

Raising kids with a social-communication disorder like ASD has forced me to break things down into steps. I’ve had to slow down both when teaching the kids the importance of looking before crossing the street and in relation to my faith life.

Slowing down meant starting to ask God for help throughout the day.

“God help me deal with this meltdown,” or “Jesus, I need patience now!” or “Send me perspective Holy Spirit,” were common mental prayers I shot up God, and God provided.

“Whoever has God lacks nothing.” – St. Teresa of Avila

These words from Saint Teresa of Avila remind me that God is always with us, but His grace is most effective when we are open to Him.

Parenthood allowed me to humble myself to ask God for help and, more importantly, to ACCEPT his graces. I am thankful for these and the many other lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning!) from being a dad to special needs children.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

February 28, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine