New Finances Production

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Read Time: 2 minutes

What do engaged couples need to know about finances during marriage prep?

This is a big question to answer. Especially considering the diversity of couples who get married in the Catholic Church.

Did you know the average age of couples taking our online Catholic marriage prep course is 30?

We also serve couples who are widowed and entering into a second marriage, some are forming blended families, and some are already retired. We also have our share of twenty-somethings who are embarking on married life straight from their parent’s homes and financial protection.

That means we’re talking to couples on a spectrum that ranges from no experience managing money all the way up to experienced and wondering, “Why are they making me learn this?”

Finances Segment in Our Online Pre-Cana Program

We believe that a good Pre-Cana course will evoke curiosity and discussion because there is no way to cover every aspect of every subject a couple will face in a life together. So, when we updated the finances segment in Living Our Faith In Love we started with the Spiritual Principles of Money Management.

The new segment starts by unpacking our value as human beings created by God, and it explains how our understanding of our value can shape the way we view and handle our finances.

As presenters in the segment, Chris and I (Jessie) have learned time and time again that the root of our money struggles and fights is often a desire to find meaning and purpose in material things rather than our standing in Christ.

When we got curious about those struggles and started to talk about them, we gained the skills to navigate our challenges in new ways. That’s what we hope to pass along to the couples taking this course, and we hope we’ve been able to do that no matter what their experience is handling finances.

The new segment also includes tips on how to talk about money, how to resolve conflict, and a few practical tools we’ve used over the years to stay organized and steward our resources responsibly.

We had a great time preparing for and presenting this segment, and we hope couples taking Living Our Faith In Love enjoy it too. Even after 27+ years of marriage, we’re still learning how to spend, save, and share what we’ve been blessed with.

Whether you’re just starting out or you’re blending established portfolios with your partner, we pray that you’ll enjoy this new edition to our online Catholic marriage prep class!

– Chris & Jessie Wiegand

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How the Pandemic Changed Engaged Catholic Couples

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Read Time: 3 minutes

In 2022, we were blessed to serve over 6,000 engaged Catholic couples from 72 countries around the world.

We recently reflected on the data collected from our course participants, and we saw a marked difference in a couple of key areas. As ministry leaders, you have likely experienced these changing demographics in your work with couples.

Here are a few things we learned about how the pandemic changed engaged Catholic couples, and how that affects marriage and family life ministry.

Average Ages:

  • Bride: 30
  • Groom: 32

What changed: The average age of both has increased by 1 year. This number has been rising steadily in the U.S. since the early 2000s when brides were around 25 and grooms were around 26. The average age is only slightly lower for Catholic couples than it is for the general population.

Engagement Length:

  • Average: 642 days

The length of engagement is significantly longer than in previous years. In the past, the average was around 500 days. This is due to postponed and rescheduled weddings because of COVID-19.

Location:

  • Same Location: 83%
  • Different Locations: 5%
  • Combination: 12%

More couples are using our programs from the same location. Our online courses are being used for a variety of reasons by couples who are not separated by distance.

Living Situation:

  • We live separately: 28%
  • We have been living together for more than a year: 51%
  • We have been living together for less than a year: 14%
  • I’d rather not say: 7%

More couples are cohabitating than in past years. Our data shows that at least 65% of couples were cohabitating, and it could be closer to 72%. This was the most significant change in our post-pandemic data, and we believe it directly affects all areas of marriage and family life ministry.

How Should We Respond?

With the increase of engaged couples cohabitating, what is our responsibility? It’s clear that those preparing Catholic couples for marriage are at the front lines of this phenomenon. It’s also clear that this trend has been steadily increasing over the years, and the pandemic only exacerbated it.

The United States Catholic Conference addressed this issue in 1999 when almost half of engaged couples were cohabitating. In the Report on New Realities of Pastoral Practices (https://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/marriage-preparation-and-cohabiting-couples), the USCC stated:

Those who choose to marry instead of continuing to cohabit are the “good news” in a culture that is increasingly anti-marriage. Those cohabiting couples who move to marriage seem to be the “best risk” of a high-risk group: they have fewer risk factors than those cohabitors who choose not to marry. Even so, they still divorce at a rate 50% higher than couples who have never cohabited. They are a high-risk group for divorce and their special risk factors need to be identified and addressed, especially at the time of marriage preparation, if the couples are to build solid marriages.

The Report continues by reminding those preparing couples for marriage that this is a teachable moment. It is “an opportunity for evangelization and catechesis.”

Cohabitating couples inevitably approach marriage with habits that could lead to higher divorce rates, infidelity, and conflict; it’s the responsibility of those preparing couples for marriage to address those issues during marriage prep. The USCC Report urges clergy and lay ministers to avoid the extremes of harshly condemning couples for cohabitation or ignoring the issue altogether.

Discussing Cohabitation During Marriage Prep: Approaching Couples With Curiosity

Since it’s clear that we will all be ministering to an increased number of cohabitating couples, how could we approach the topic in a way that leads couples toward a more sacred view of marriage and commitment?

The advice found in the USCC’s report reminds us that curiosity is the key to opening up an honest conversation with couples.

Encourage the couple to reflect on their situation and why they decided to cohabit and to provide insights into possible consequences, factors that may present special challenges to them, or put them at risk for later marital disruption.

Asking good questions will not only provide insight into the couple’s character, beliefs, and habits, it will also enable them to explore how those things may affect their future marriage. Asking those questions with the spirit of understanding and an honest desire to see the couple reconciled to God, the Church, and one another can help them learn where they may have gone astray and accept the call to return to Catholic teaching on marriage and family life.

Moving Forward With Today’s Couples

Although these statistics aren’t what we hoped to see, we recognize that this is the reality of life for the couples we serve. In light of this data, The Marriage Group is looking for thoughtful and innovative ways to address these changing demographics in a way that honors Catholic teaching and promotes the gospel truths of love, mercy, and grace.

We also pray for your ministry to couples, acknowledging the many conversations that you have with cohabitating couples and the tension you may feel between honoring the standard God has called you to uphold and the current state of relationships in our parishes.

For more information on this topic, we recommend the USCC’s Report on New Realities of Pastoral Practices available here: (https://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/marriage-preparation-and-cohabiting-couples)

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Join Us at the NACLFM Conference

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The NACFLM conference is a great place to grow your ministry and connect with other leaders. We’d love to meet you and show you how The Marriage Group can support your ministry to families!

Read more
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New Year, New Theology and Spirituality of Marriage Segment

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The Marriage Group is excited to announce a brand new Theology and Spirituality of Marriage segment to its popular online Pre-Cana course, Living Our Faith in Love!

In this video series, Claudio Mora, Director of Catholic Programs, delivers the good news of marriage that is best lived — rooted and grounded in the foundations of Catholic faith — in a beautifully profound and approachable way.

Topics within this Theology and Spirituality of Marriage segment include:

  • God’s Plan:
    • God’s Plan for Humanity
    • God’s Plan for Human Sexuality
    • God’s Plan for Marriage
  • Marriage as a Sacrament
    • Sacramental Life
    • Sacraments of Initiation
    • Sacraments to the Service of Communion
    • Sacramental Marriage
  • Marriage as a Vocation
  • Marriage as a Covenant

View full topic outline

In addition to his role with The Marriage Group, Claudio is an adjunct professor in the Biblical Program and Permanent Diaconate Formation Program at the University of Dallas. He served as the Family Life Director at the Diocese of Dallas and as the Executive Director of Cultural Diversity and Outreach at the Archdiocese of Washington.

The Marriage Group continues to build upon its library of content for engaged and married Catholics delivered by subject-matter experts, ensuring a comprehensive and sacramental experience every time.

Interested in learning more about how our online Pre-Cana can be another resource for your engaged couples?

 

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Pre-Cana in 2020

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Read Time: 3 minutes

In 2020 we served over 6,500 couples from all over the world. Let’s take a look at the information from couples who took our most popular Pre-Cana course in 2020, Living Our Faith in Love.

Data was interesting for Pre-Cana in 2020

 

Dioceses and Countries:

  • Couples registered from 172 dioceses in the United States.
  • We had registrations in 54 countries around the world.
  • We also had registrations from about 250 dioceses outside of the United States.

Ages:

  • Groom: 31
  • Bride: 29

Note: Over 100 couples were both above the age of 50.

Length of Engagement:

  • 17.1 Months

Note: This doesn’t take into account weddings postponed due to COVID. However, this is pretty consistent with our data from previous years.

Course Start Vs. Wedding Dates:

  • Couples started the course about 3.4 months before their wedding date.

Time Spent On Course:

  • The average amount of time spent on the course was just over 1 month.

Note: This is an increase from the previous averages of 21 days / 3 weeks

This is interesting because it can be concluded that today’s engaged couples desire a more intentional approach to marriage preparation, rather than a one-day, “drink from the firehose” experience.

Slowing down allows more focus on the actual content and removes the thought that marriage preparation is just another hoop to jump through.

Based on this information, we can assume that couples do not wish to complete their Pre-Cana as fast as possible.

How They Found Us:

  • Their Parish: 71.7%
  • Search Engine: 18.2%
  • From a Friend: 5.1%
  • Their Diocese: 2.4%
  • Family: 0.6%
  • Facebook/Instagram: 0.4%
  • Other: 2.0%

Note: Many couples mentioned they heard about us from the parish, diocese, or their gathered event coordinator who originally organized the event but had to cancel due to COVID.

The 2.4% mentioned above is over 100 couples who were looking to their diocese for Pre-Cana options outside of what their parish offered.

Together vs. Separate Location:

  • Same Location: 82%
  • Different Locations: 6%
  • Combination of Both: 12%

Note: This is a bit of change from previous years. Looking at 2018 it was 69%, 11,% and 19% respectively.

This data could be attributed to couples staying in their COVID “bubble” with their fiancé(e).

Primary Reason:

  • COVID: 38%
  • Convenience: 37%
  • Last resort: 13%
  • Geography: 7%
  • Privacy: 3%
  • Other: 4%

Note: THIS data point is interesting.

In 2018, 69% of couples said they took the course for convenience. COVID and Convenience combined in 2020 is 75% couples.

With those combined, more than half of the couples who chose our online Pre-Cana program did so due to a cancelled event or an event in which their schedules made it difficult to attend.

“I think it was an excellent resource for us since our in person Pre-Cana day had been cancelled due to COVID-19. It took a little bit of weight off of our shoulders knowing we could complete it on our own time and not have to stress about fitting in a new date before our wedding.” – Laina and Daniel from New York

Given the global pandemic of last year, we can also assume that couples prefer the safety and security of virtual learning.

This eliminates the risk of exposure to the virus while attending a gathered event.

In Conclusion…

2020 was a very difficult year for all of us. We understand how difficult it is to have to cancel a gathered event for any number of reasons, but especially through the lens of the COVID pandemic. Unfortunately, it seems like it is still going to take a long time to “get back to normal,” and even then, it will most likely look vastly different than the “normal” we were used to.

Pre-Cana in 2020 was not an exception to this case.

The good news is — we have the resources to reach a global audience and continue to deliver a comprehensive, sacramental and modern Pre-Cana experience. Our unique benefit is that our programs are the perfect solution to every current COVID restriction in place.

We appreciate the opportunity to serve you and your ministry, and we continue to keep you all in our prayers as we all navigate through difficult times.

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Pre-Cana and Zoom

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Read Time: 4 minutes

“Is this working?”

“Can you all hear me?”

“Hello? Can you all hear me?”

That’s pretty much how every Zoom call starts out.

These days, it seems like everything is a Zoom call — including Pre-Cana.

However, is using Zoom as a means to conduct a Pre-Cana “virtual gathered event” a good alternative for when meeting in person is not available? It certainly is not the ONLY alternative.

Here are 4 reasons why Zoom might not be the best alternative option for Pre-Cana.

Poor Quality

Dropped calls. Frozen video. Audio that sounds like a robot underwater.

These can all lead to a poor and frustrating video call experience, let alone for something as important as Pre-Cana.

Think about it — if you are the one presenting, you get into a groove with the topic you are discussing. When you have to pause because you realize that your call has been dropped, it will take a while to get your momentum back after the call resumes.

It is difficult for anybody to gather their thoughts again when there’s a cataclysmic interruption, especially when your audience just completely disappears due to poor connection.

Even if it is one or two couples that experience the interruption, unbeknownst to the presenter/video team, those particular couples will have lost what could be several minutes worth of important talking points.

Talking Over Each Other

“Well I think— no, you go ahead… No it’s okay! Oh — no, you go ahead!”

The success of a Pre Cana gathered event is one part presentation and one part group participation.

You desire for your couples to ask questions and engage in conversation.

On a Zoom call, this can turn into an absolute nightmare.

You will have your couples talking over each other, and awkwardly telling the other participants to continue with their thought, creating chaos and a jumble of audio coming through on everyone’s device.

Other than the obvious problem that this is, another issue that can arise is your couples can shut down after an awkward “interrupting” encounter.

It takes a lot of courage for someone to speak up in front of strangers. When one experiences something as jarring as trying to talk over another, it would be easy for that individual to either forget what they were about to ask or comment on, or just completely shut down due to embarrassment.

Fatigue from Long Zoom Calls

Video conference calls are… exhausting.

For live presentations, it is always better to have people physically in the room, rather than virtually present.

Presenters and speakers do their best when they have faces to look at.

When a presenter only has a screen with blank expressions to stare at during the Pre-Cana event, it induces fatigue and, let’s face it, frustration.

Presenters can come down hard on themselves for “not giving it their best” even if their presentation was great!

In those moments, presenters might start going off of their notes and not delivering the message in an impactful way, or worse, completely forget important parts of the topic.

The Obvious Security Risks

According to this article from The Guardian, Zoom has had some glaring problems of privacy and security.

“‘Zoom bombings,’ in which hackers enter chat rooms to drop racist language and violent threats, persist. The company had to fix a bug that would have allowed hackers to take over a Zoom user’s Mac. It also had to change some of its policies after a Motherboard report found Zoom sends data from users of its iOS app to Facebook for advertising purposes.”

The last thing that you would ever want is to compromise the integrity of your couples’ privacy and security.

So What Do We Offer Instead?

Our course is the most popular choice among ministry leaders and couples from all around the world as an online, on-demand Pre-Cana program.

Your couples will have peace of mind knowing they can register anytime, anywhere to get started immediately. You as a ministry leader will have peace of mind knowing that your couples are receiving a comprehensive and sacramental marriage preparation experience.

We were delighted to know that this program was offered online, to complete our Pre-Cana in a time of social distancing due to COVID-19.

Our course covers all of the “must-have” conversations outlined by the USCCB, offering a high quality program for when gathered events cannot happen.

What Couples Have Said:

“We were delighted to know that this program was offered online, to complete our Pre-Cana in a time of social distancing due to COVID-19.”

“It was convenient and safe to complete together from the comfort of home during COVID-19 but also allowed our conversation together to be private and intimate.”

“It was very easy to complete this course on our own time. Very beneficial for long distance couples, deployed couples, and anyone who cannot attend in person classes during these weird Covid times.”

“Convenient way to prepare for marriage during COVID, and even without COVID, for those with busy lifestyles. My fiancé and I don’t live in the same city and this was the perfect solution to set aside time to go through the courses together.”

“I think it was an excellent resource for us since our in person Pre-Cana day had been cancelled due to COVID-19. It took a little bit of weight off of our shoulders knowing we could complete it on our own time and not have to stress about fitting in a new date before our wedding.”

Contact us today to learn how you can start using our online, on-demand programs in your Parish or Diocese! We look forward to talking with you.

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Holy Week, Easter, and the Reality of Marriage

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When we think about this time in the Liturgical Calendar, Holy Week and Easter, we usually associate it with church services, long liturgies and rituals. We think of all this as something that happens ‘in church’ but we don’t see much connection of this season with our own lives.

Holy Week is a time to remember and commemorate the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. But this is not just a historic remembrance. Every time that we commemorate the events of Holy Week (Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday) we are living again all the events that Jesus went through to bring us new life.

Holy Week is a life journey through all the tribulations that will bring us to a new life, a life that is everlasting! So how does Holy Week, Easter, and the reality of marriage all work together?

Tribulations in Marriage

Does the perfect marriage exist? Who can say that they have the perfect marriage? What constitutes a ‘perfect’ marriage? These are all valid questions. Especially when we think that because we have some difficulties in our marriage, we may not be “the perfect couple.”

If we are completely honest, we all know that a marriage is not perfect because it is composed of two people who are imperfect. Therefore, there will necessarily be adjustments to be made, challenges to overcome, shortcomings to forgive. This is what we call the day to day reality of the married couple. We not only recognize these challenges, but we work through them, with the help of the tools that have been given to us in our marriage preparation, in marriage enrichment programs and sessions we have attended of in other resources that we may have on hand.

Faith, Marriage and Holy Week

Faith is also a tool that we can use to work through the challenges of marriage. We can look at our marriage and compare it to Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. Especially now during Holy Week and Easter, we need to keep in mind that Jesus went through all the pain, suffering, rejection, but he always had a clear awareness of what was to come…. The Resurrection. “The Son of Man* must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days.” Mark 8:31

When Jesus was taken prisoner, when he was being judged, punished, tortured, nailed to the cross and killed, he knew that the pain and the suffering he was experiencing was not the end of his existence. He knew something bigger, much bigger was coming. He knew God had a much bigger plan for him.

Easter, New Life, and Marriage

Every time that we experience challenges in marriage (and we do experience them) we can think of the experience of Holy Week and Easter. We must go through the sorrow of Good Friday in order to arrive to the joy of Easter. In the same way, in our marriage, we must go through difficulties, adjustments and challenges in order to grow as a couple and continue our married life together. Good Friday, the tomb, the darkness of the sepulcher, is only a stage. In our marriage, the problems, conflicts, arguments, disagreements, are also stages that will pass. The glory of the resurrection will come, and the joy of Easter will bring us new life.

That is how Holy Week, Easter, and the reality of marriage all work together.

Happy Easter to you and your family from all of us at The Marriage Group!

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Leverage Online Marriage Prep During COVID and Canceled Pre-Cana Events

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Schedule A Call To Learn More

COVID and Pre-Cana

On behalf of our team, we pray this message finds you in good health and positive spirits as we all navigate these uncertain times.

One thing that is certain, is that couples preparing for an upcoming wedding can still complete an approved, comprehensive marriage preparation program that is already being used by thousands of couples from all 50 states and 60 countries around the world as well.

The Marriage Group is uniquely positioned to take on this challenge. Our platform of course delivery is able to accommodate virtually unlimited numbers of couples registering for and working through the courses at any given time.

So whether your Parish or Diocese has one couple, one hundred couples, or one thousand couples, that need to be accommodated with an approved Pre-Cana program that you can trust, send them to us to register for Living Our Faith in Love.

“Very convenient in this COVID pandemic! For being an online course, it was more engaging than I expected. Highly recommend!”

Our team is ready to serve you and your couples. We have over 10 years of experience delivering world-class customer service. Navigating through COVID and Pre-Cana can be difficult, but we will stick together through this!

Contact us to learn more about any of our courses by calling 810-957-1550 or email us at hello@themarriagegroup.com. We look forward to the opportunity to talk to you.

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Leverage Online Marriage Prep Courses During Coronavirus Outbreak

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In the midst of the Coronavirus outbreak, ministry leaders are eager to understand, use, and promote our popular online, on-demand marriage preparation courses as a trusted alternative to gathered/group events. Many dioceses and parishes are wisely canceling their weekend programs and retreats, leaving engaged couples in a troublesome predicament.

We want to reassure you that we are here, ready to respond to the needs of the Family Life Directors, Marriage Ministry Coordinators and couples around the country.

Our online, on-demand course delivery platform uniquely position us for virtually limitless scale. That means we can accommodate an unlimited number of couples at any given time.

It is important to inform couples that if their gathered/group event for marriage preparation will need to be canceled, they can still continue with their marriage preparation by completing their course online.

Recognizing that many couples are going through the RCIA process in their parishes, now during Lent, they will start their marriage preparation to be able to celebrate their wedding before the Easter Vigil and be completely initiated into the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil. We are also here for them, by allowing the couples to continue with their plans and completing their marriage preparation online, safely from their homes.

We are now offering discounts during the Coronavirus outbreak to help make our courses even more accessible to so many couples, now finding themselves searching for a leading, comprehensive online experience that meets the Church’s requirements for Pre-Cana.

Please call us at 810-957-1550 or email me at swerner@themarriagegroup.com

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National Marriage Week 2020

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Every year from February 7th to the 14th we celebrate “National Marriage Week.” What is National Marriage Week? It is a week dedicated to celebrate and support marriages in the United States and also in other countries around the world.

“National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.”

Strengthening and Supporting Marriages

Why is it important to strengthen and support marriages? Every day we see the increasing number of divorce rates among married couples. Marriage as an institution is under attack. Today more than ever we need to do everything we can to support and maintain the values that bring a man and a woman together in marriage.

An Opportunity for Couples to Build Up their own Marriage

What if once a year you and your spouse had the opportunity to work more intentionally on your own marriage? Would this help your relationship? That is exactly the point of National Marriage week. It is an opportunity for you and your spouse to take a closer look at your marriage and see the areas where you still need to grow and to celebrate those areas in which you are doing well.

Celebrate Marriage, Celebrate Love

The love that brought you and your spouse together needs to be enriched, supported and celebrated. Take advantage of National Marriage Week and all its resources to do that. Specially important during this week is to pray and reflect on the wonderful gift of love that God has given you. We invite you to reflect and read together the following scripture passage and tell each other what it means for you.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Cor 13: 4-8)

 

 

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