Lent in Our Lives

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Lent in our lives is a time of preparation for the resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ. The Church has established this time as a period of prayer, fasting and almsgiving so we can be spiritually ready to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord.

This time of preparation lasts 40 days. The number 40 is used in the Bible many times as a time of preparation for something else that is to come: in the story of the flood, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights (Genesis 7: 4-12); Moses was in the mountain for 40 days and 40 nights (Exodus 34:28); the people of Israel wondered in the desert for 40 years (Joshua 5:6) and Jesus spent 40 days in the desert before beginning his public ministry (Matthew 4: 1-2).

Lent and Engaged Couples

If you are engaged to be married, Lent is a great time of prayer and reflection and a time of preparation. If you are wondering if you can be married in the Catholic Church during lent, click here to access a great blog that explains that.

Since Lent in our lives is a time of preparation for Easter, it is also an invitation for you and your fiancé to prepare for the celebration of the sacrament of matrimony.

Preparation takes different forms: you can attend a retreat organized by your parish or your diocese, you can attend marriage preparation classes either as a group or one on one with a sponsor couple, and you can also attend online marriage preparation classes here. All these forms of marriage preparation are accepted by the church and are available to you.

Read more about getting married during Lent here.

Lent and Married Couples

If you recently got married in the Catholic Church and you are starting to build your own family and your own family traditions, Lent is a great time to establish some practices that are spiritually important for both of you.

Start by telling each other how each of your families of origin prepared for Easter during this time of Lent.

Did you attend reconciliation as a family? Did you practice fasting and almsgiving in a special way? Once you have shared all these stories with each other, establish your own Lenten practices.

What do you want to do during Lent now that you are married? Make sure to include time for prayer, both as a couple and individually, fasting and almsgiving.

Lent and Families

Lent gives families an opportunity to come together for prayer and to reflect on the things we want to change. It is important to highlight the aspects of forgiving, reconciliation, and accepting one another in the family. Family prayer before meals is a special time to be thankful for what we have and to ask God to help us be aware of those around us who are less fortunate. Nighttime prayers are also a good moment to stop and reflect on what we did wrong and who did we offend during the day.

Practicing the corporal works of mercy as a family is also a good Lenten practice, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick, etc., are all activities that the whole family can practice.

Lent in our lives is an invitation to all of us to change our ways (convert) and start a new life with the Risen Lord in the Resurrection at Easter. Let us make good use of these 40 days and really make a change in our lives and the lives of those around us.

Many blessings on this Lenten Season!

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National Marriage Week 2020

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Read Time: 2 minutes

Every year from February 7th to the 14th we celebrate “National Marriage Week.” What is National Marriage Week? It is a week dedicated to celebrate and support marriages in the United States and also in other countries around the world.

“National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.”

Strengthening and Supporting Marriages

Why is it important to strengthen and support marriages? Every day we see the increasing number of divorce rates among married couples. Marriage as an institution is under attack. Today more than ever we need to do everything we can to support and maintain the values that bring a man and a woman together in marriage.

An Opportunity for Couples to Build Up their own Marriage

What if once a year you and your spouse had the opportunity to work more intentionally on your own marriage? Would this help your relationship? That is exactly the point of National Marriage week. It is an opportunity for you and your spouse to take a closer look at your marriage and see the areas where you still need to grow and to celebrate those areas in which you are doing well.

Celebrate Marriage, Celebrate Love

The love that brought you and your spouse together needs to be enriched, supported and celebrated. Take advantage of National Marriage Week and all its resources to do that. Specially important during this week is to pray and reflect on the wonderful gift of love that God has given you. We invite you to reflect and read together the following scripture passage and tell each other what it means for you.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Cor 13: 4-8)

 

 

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New Marriages The Holidays and The Extended Family

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The holidays represent a great challenge to marriages and family life. We all enjoy getting together with family and friends and spending time with them. Balancing new marriages, the holidays, and the extended family can be difficult. What happens when the extended family on both sides expect you to spend Christmas or New Years with them?

Where do you go? Who do you spend which holiday with? Do you spend them with his family? Her family? Or do you want to start your own new traditions as a new family?

All of  these are perfectly valid questions that most newlywed couples must answer at some point. The most important thing to know is that there is no perfect answer! As in many other situations, when it comes to deciding how and where to spend the holidays, what is most important is the dialogue between you and your spouse. Here are some aspects to consider when the two of you decide to have this conversation.

Family of Origin

Remember your marriage preparation segment on Family of Origin and remember that both of you come from different families with different traditions. One is not better than the other, they are different and there is value in both of them. Take time to share your own traditions about the holidays when you were growing up.

Old Traditions vs. New Traditions

After talking and sharing your own experiences and the traditions of your own families of origin, have open and honest dialogue about your own present family, the family that you and your spouse have formed: do you want to start new traditions together or do you want to be a part of your family of origin’s traditions? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers here, only honest answers!

Negotiating, Meeting in the Middle, Finding the Common Ground

What if you both want to spend Christmas with your parents and siblings? What if you receive invitations from both sides of the family to spend New Years with them? What do you? Where do you go? This is the time to negotiate, time to meet in the middle, time to give something to gain something. Remember that segment of marriage preparation that talks about “Conflict Resolution?” Well, now it is the time to put it into practice. Utilize your tools to express what you want, listen to what your spouse wants, and then together find a common ground. What’s most important here is not the outcome, it is the process, the dialogue and the love and understanding that you put into it. Find your own solution, the alternative that will work for your marriage. First, think about what makes your spouse happy, then think of the extended family and friends.

New Marriages, The Holidays, and The Extended Family • Together, as One

Attending a holiday celebration with the extended family is fun, but attending any celebration “Together-As-One” is what God really wants from the two of you. Will the holidays be the same as they were when you were growing up? NO! They will be even better now that you have formed your own family. Enjoy the holidays, have a Blessed Christmas, and a New Year filled with God’s grace.

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Love is Thankful

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Read Time: 2 minutes

How often do we remember to give thanks for the acts of love and kindness we constantly receive? How many times do we take for granted the love that surrounds us? The celebration of Thanksgiving comes into our lives once a year as a reminder to be thankful, not only for the material things that we have, but also for the spiritual gifts we constantly receive. That is what we mean by saying, love is thankful.

Be Thankful for Your Engagement

If you are an engaged couple preparing for marriage, you are probably used to the constant expressions of love to one another. That is a very good thing! God created us to love Him and to love one another:

“I give you a new commandment: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” (John 13:34) 

This is the time to learn how to be thankful for the love God has given you in the person who is now your spouse-to-be. In your prayers, remember to thank God for the love you receive from this person!

Be Thankful for Your Marriage

If you are an already-married couple, you may be noticing that the expressions of love are decreasing as the years pass. It is important to go back to the beginnings of your relationship to rekindle the love that brought you together in the first place.

Remember the expressions of love that you gave one another and start doing those things again. Be thankful for the presence of your spouse in your life. God is leading you to heaven through the presence of your husband/wife in your life journey. This is a reason to be thankful.

Be Thankful for Your Ministry

If you are a ministry leader in a diocese or parish, there may be times when you feel that all the work you do is not appreciated or even noticed. The expressions of love and appreciation may not always be there, but your desire to serve with love is always there. That is a gift you have received from God. Be thankful for the opportunity and the call you have received to serve others in the ministry that you do.

Being thankful is not only the right thing to do, it is also what builds relationships with family and friends. Developing an attitude of gratitude brings peace and joy to the heart. In every situation, in every circumstance, let us remember to always live our life with that attitude of thanksgiving to God for everything He gives us.

From all of us here at The Marriage Group, we wish you a blessed Thanksgiving Day.

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Who is the Real Minister of the Sacrament of Marriage?

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An important aspect about preparing for marriage in the Catholic Church is finding and selecting the priest who will preside over the celebration.

Couples usually find the church first and, therefore, the priest who is at that particular church will celebrate the wedding ceremony. This is perfectly fine. It is important for couples to have a relationship with the priest or deacon who will preside over their wedding ceremony, whenever possible.

Oftentimes, couples chose a priest they already know to preside over their celebration. They may have a favorite priest, a friend, or a family member.

Okay, so… Who is the Real Minister of the Sacrament of Marriage?

While finding the right priest to preside the celebration is very important, it is also important to know that the ministers of the sacrament of marriage are the bride and the groom.

Yes! The most important people in the sacrament of marriage are the ones who are entering into this covenant union we call marriage.

This is different from the other sacraments of the Catholic Church, where the minister is always a bishop, a priest or a deacon (an ordained minister). For the sacrament of marriage, the ministers are the contracting parties (bride and groom) because they are giving each other promises or vows and the consent.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us: “According to Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ’s grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church.” (CCC 1623)

That’s why during this part of the ceremony, the priest asks the couple to stand facing each other and exchange the promises or vows, symbolizing that they are giving each other the consent to enter into this union forever.

This shows us how important and how unique this sacrament is in the eyes of the Church. The bride and the groom actively give each other the promises in what is considered the most important part of a Catholic wedding ceremony.

It is very important for the couple to be aware of this moment, which represents the essence of the Catholic wedding ceremony. If you are getting married in the Catholic Church, it is also important to know that, as the ministers in this sacrament, it is very important that you are well formed and prepared for this sacred duty. That’s why marriage preparation is so important and that’s the reason why the Church encourages you to take marriage preparation seriously.

It is our hope that through this process of marriage preparation, you will grow in your understanding of the sacrament of marriage and the importance of the role you play in the ceremony as a minister of the sacrament.

We wish you all the best!

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Summer Growing Summer Loving Marriage Enrichment

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June is the beginning of summer in the United States. It is also when most couples and families take time to rest and re-energize. We take trips to visit the beach, the lake, parks, etc. In general, it is a season for rest and relaxation; a time to take a break from our busy lives.

We might be tempted to say it is also a time to take a break from feeding our relationship with our spouse or to take a little break from this thing we call, “enriching our marriage.” Quite the opposite! Summer is the perfect time to engage again in this wonderful adventure we call marriage!

Taking Lessons from Nature

In nature, life grows rapidly in the summer. Trees and plants reach their full potential during summer. Fruits and vegetables grow and mature during summer. In the same way, our relationship as a couple grows during this time of rest and recreation, if we know how to feed it properly.

This is the time to go back to the beginning and re-encounter the reasons why we entered into this adventure we call marriage.

Pope Francis in his Apostolic Exhortation “Amoris Laetitia / The Joy of Love,” #9 says, “They [the married couple] embody the primordial divine plan clearly spoken of by Christ himself: ‘Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female?’ (Mt 19:4).” We hear an echo of the command found in the Book of Genesis: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen 2:24).”

We should take advantage of this summer season that offers us more time and flexibility to do things that will become food for our relationship. We can use the extra free time we are given during summer to work on our marriage in an intentional way and in a more fun way!

So how do you start Summer Growing Summer Loving Marriage Enrichment?

There are so many ways in which you can do something fun and creative to enrich your relationship this summer. From picnics in the park to outdoor movies, get creative and start planning those date nights.

Another great way to engage in Marriage Enrichment is to visit your local parish and ask about opportunities and events they may have available. Many parishes offer summer programs that are fun, creative and interesting! You will not only be working on your marriage, but you will develop stronger connections to your local parish and you will have an opportunity to build community with other married couples.

Whichever way you chose to enrich your marriage this summer, remember the “three Cs” of marriage enrichment:

  • Consistency: Schedule your enrichment opportunities and stick to your plan.
  • Creativity: Think outside the box! Be original, be brave and try new things.
  • Christ-Centered: Chose activities that will bring you closer to Christ, will feed your faith and your relationship with God.

It is our hope that you will have a great summer filled with opportunities to rest and to grow together in your marriage.

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4 Affordable Dates That Won’t Break The Bank

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When it comes to any date, it’s pretty safe to say that we all like to be impressed by the other, and we like to be impressive as well. Truthfully though, don’t most of us simply appreciate a romantic effort most times, leaving the pricey extravagance for a random, extra special occasion?

At no time should a night out break your budget, but we can understand the occasional splurge. Here are a few of our favorite affordable dates, specifically with a lower cost in mind, yet ideas that are full of heart.

Breakfast!

I’ve got to start with one of my faves. Whether being picked up or you’re picking up your date early in the morning–to go to a favorite place to watch the sunrise, then off to a quaint breakfast spot, it sounds incredibly romantic. It’s a sweet way to start both of your days.

Window Shopping

Taking a nice long walk through a happenin’ downtown area of your hometown or neighboring city is a wonderful way to learn more about his or her likes and interests. It’s also a good way to scope out the local favorite delicatessens and bakeries.

Picnics

Since you just took a delightful walk through town, and now know where you can pick up a light lunch or just a coffee and a sweet-treat, you’re all set to go relax in the park or maybe sit alongside the boardwalk–if you’re lucky enough to live by the water. Perfect places for more fun, yet, intimate conversations.

Just A Drive…

For the cost of a little gasoline to fill your car–a ride up and down the coast or through the most scenic countryside can create some of the fondest memories, which can last a lifetime.

This list could go on-and-on, and I am certainly looking forward to that. We would love to hear about YOUR favorite, most romantic dates that cost you little to no money–only priceless time you spent with that special someone. Let us know by commenting here, or message us on Facebook or Instagram!

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What do Ash Wednesday and Lent mean?

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‘Tis the season…Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season are upon us! No matter what your religious affiliations or beliefs are, have you ever wondered or needed a fresh description of what it all means and its purpose? If your answer is, “yes”, don’t worry–you’re not alone. In brief, here are some answers:

For starters: what is Ash Wednesday?

Although ‘Ash Wednesday’ was not exactly written about in the Bible, the mentioning of “dust” and “ashes” was sprinkled throughout it; for example: Esther 4:1, Job 42:6, Jonah 3:5-6, and Daniel 9:3-4.

Ash Wednesday may be a day of holy commitment for Catholics, however, it is not for the rest of Western Christian society. Roman Catholics attend Mass on this day to mark the beginning of the Lenten season. Worshippers of this day attend Mass to show sorrow for their sins, as well as to prepare for the holy crucifixion and resurrection, receiving a mark of the cross with ashes on their foreheads. As their priest places the ashes, he likely says, For dust you are and to dust you shall return (Genesis 3:19). The blessed ashes that are used come from the burned palms from the preceding year’s Palm Sunday.

What is Lent?

Lent, starting on Ash Wednesday, is the 46 days before Easter Sunday. The 46 days equals to 40 days of ‘fasting’ and 6 Sundays of ‘feasting’. The Lenten season is for believers in Christ to grow in their obligation and gratitude of the sacrifices of Jesus. This is done by a thorough self-analysis, prayer, abstinence, and repentance.

What to abstain from?

This is a very interesting question. Christianity Today has reported the following statistics: “3 in 10 Americans with evangelical beliefs (28%) say they observe Lent; of these, 42 percent typically fast from a favorite food or beverage while 71 percent typically attend church services.

Catholics remain the most likely to observe Lent (61%), with 2 out of 3 fasting from a favorite food or beverage (64%).

Overall, 1 in 4 Americans observes Lent (24%), according to LifeWay. Most American observers fast from a favorite food or beverage (57%) vs. a bad habit (35%) or a favorite activity (23%).

Hispanics were the most likely ethnic group to observe Lent (36%), and were more likely than whites to abstain from a favorite activity (34% vs. 17%) or a bad habit (50% vs. 30%).

In 2014, it was found that 17 percent of US adults planned to fast during Lent, including 63 percent of practicing Catholics and 16 percent of practicing Protestants. Most were giving up a food item, including chocolate (30%), meat (28%), soda (26%), or alcohol (24%).”

To conclude; I like to think that Isaiah 58:5-9 says it best: Is this the manner of fasting I would choose, a day to afflict oneself? To bow one’s head like a reed, and lie upon sackcloth and ashes? Is this what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?

Is this not, rather, the fast that I choose: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; Setting free the oppressed, breaking off every yoke?

Is it not sharing your bread with the hungry, bringing the afflicted and the homeless into your house; Clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own flesh?

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall quickly be healed; Your vindication shall go before you, and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer, you shall cry for help, and he will say: “Here I am!” – Isaiah 58:9

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The Newlywed’s Guide To Talking About Investments

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Money is one of the most common causes of friction during the first year of marriage. When you first enter into a union it is important to discuss money matters, but you might be wondering: what kind of personal finances should I bring up?

Your ideas on investment are definitely worthy of discussion. If you have dreams of investing in properties over the years or even own real estate investments, be sure to take this up with your partner early in your relationship. Here is the Newlywed’s Guide to Talking About Investments.

Start Slow

When you enter into a discussion about property investments, be sure to start things out slowly. Though you may have been interested in real estate and passive income for years, your spouse may not be as well versed as you are in the regulations of buy to lets, mortgages or the fluctuations of base rates for instance. Or, visa-versa — your spouse could know a great deal more than you and have tons of experience.

Either way, if the topic is new between you, start the discussion in a pressure-free way. Instead of presenting a property you want to buy out of the blue, start talking about friends who own and rent out properties, and see what your spouse has to say. Tell stories and keep the conversation light.

Be Honest

Honesty is essential between couples. Foster trust in your marriage by never with-holding information, which is a passive way of lying. Tell the truth by speaking about your experiences, hopes, and thoughts on the topics that are important to you.

For example, once you have established a dialogue about real estate investment, you might need to bring up the fact that you once owned a property and sold it for a profit, and that you hope to do it again. Your hopes involve your partner because you are now a team, so be sure to include them in your statement. You might want to say something like, “I would love to look at properties to invest in again one day in the future, if you are interested and on board.”

Listen To Your Spouses Concerns

This last part of the Newlywed’s Guide to Talking About Investments might be the most important part.

Your spouse may have concerns about property investment. This could be a fear that you aren’t interested in buying real estate for investment purposes, and want to invest in other places or not invest at all. Or, his or her concern could also be about your wish to invest in property.

Your spouse will appreciate being heard. Take the time to listen to his or her concerns. You don’t even need to respond right away. Just give them space to speak what is on their mind.

Money is a charged subject, and each partner will bring a unique viewpoint into the marriage. This is one of the benefits of coming together as a couple! It’s important enough to be one of the required topics in Pre-Cana.

Learn from each other when it comes to challenging topics such as property investment and make wise decisions as a team. Start slow, be honest and open, and take the time to listen to your spouse.

Article provided by: Jackie Edwards, Freelance Contributor

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Staying out of the Deep End: Tips for Engagement Happiness

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Read Time: 2 minutes

When you take the ultimate commitment plunge – getting engaged — there are an increasing number of deep waterways you may have to navigate together. To name a few, there’s adjusting to your new relationship status, making decisions together, planning the wedding, and navigating your future in-laws. While every couple wants to enjoy this special time, you may need a few tips to keep your head above water and achieve engagement happiness:

Practical Tips for Engagement Happiness

 

1. This too shall pass

  • Your fiancé’s/fiancée’s bad mood.
  • The fact that someone messed up the booking for the wedding venue.
  • Bridesmaid drama.
  • The pressure to find the perfect dress.
  • The never-ending wedding costs.

These are all temporary stressors and it’s important to remember that you will come out on the other side.

Try not to lose perspective as things get stressful during the wedding planning.

Make sure you come back to the most important thing: you have each other and that’s all you ever really wanted.

2. Don’t go to bed angry

Not just applicable during the engagement stage, for many, this is solid marital and life advice.

Going to bed refusing to speak to each other other, and retreating in anger is not going to solve anything.

It’s okay to disagree or not come to a happily ever after ending, but you can’t let your anger fester when you both go to sleep for the night. Agree to disagree or call a temporary truce until you can revisit the issue in the light of day.

3. Have alone time

Set boundaries.

Don’t allow yourselves to get too caught up in the early love stages of wanting to always be together, always be in the same room, or always talking to each other on the phone.

It is important for you both to continue to foster your own sense of self, away from the relationship, as well as maintain other friendships outside of each other. Together, these personal activities allow you to both show up better as a person and as a partner.

4. Be open to change

It might be as simple as a change in the font on the wedding invitations, to something as big as making adjustments to your daily routines to accommodate each other and your families.

Whatever the case is, the need to be open to change is a common theme as you embark on a new relationship, a new lifestyle, and something as big as planning a wedding.

Start with small steps by simply agreeing to be open to listening to new ideas.

Gradually work up to adopting, offering and embracing change.

Remember that you are changing to become better people together than you were when you were apart.

Ultimately, marriage is designed to help you become the best version of yourself, while simultaneously helping someone else do the same. Don’t spoil this special time with silly fights over flowers and cake flavors. Instead, keep perspective of what’s important to enjoy your days as you prepare to spend the rest of your lives together.

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