NFP as a Path to Holiness

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Read Time: 5 minutes

Integrating Faith into Family Planning

NFP.

These three letters, standing for Natural Family Planning, represent the Catholic Church’s teaching on achieving or postponing pregnancy. Sometimes, NFP can sound like a burden rather than a blessing.

It is true that using NFP is not all sunshine and roses, and it does no one any good to sugarcoat the realities of NFP or any aspect of marriage. However, understanding the foundational virtues that support healthy Natural Family Planning can bring more beauty into the marriage relationship than most couples initially realize.

The Challenges of NFP

Marriage is hard.

Living life with another person and building a life and a family with them is hard. Charting can be challenging, especially during certain phases of a couple’s reproductive lives.

NFP is not as simple as abstaining from intercourse for a couple days each month.

There are many nuances to the instructions couples must learn and follow for every method. For example, when a woman is breastfeeding, the couple will need more support for charting as they navigate breastfeeding amenorrhea (the lack of cycles caused by breastfeeding temporarily suppressing ovulation) and the return of fertility.

Health conditions, medications, and even busy schedules can affect a woman’s cycle and the signs she relies on to determine fertility.

However, just because something is challenging, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful and fruitful.

Through the practice of Natural Family Planning, couples can experience something they may not have expected: good fruit in their spiritual lives.

Discerning Together

One of my favorite things about Natural Family Planning is month-to-month discernment. Couples don’t have to decide their intention in using NFP (meaning using their chosen method to either postphone or achieve pregnancy) forever.

They only need to decide how they will use it each cycle.

Unlike artificial methods, NFP allows couples to change their intention with ease. The couple trying to come off of a method of artificial contraception to achieve pregnancy would have to allow time for the woman’s cycle to regulate, and the woman may experience post-birth control syndrome.

However, the Creighton Model System, one of the NFP methods recommended by the Church, emphasizes that it is a method of true family planning, meaning it can be used to both achieve and postpone pregnancy.

All couples learning the system are given instructions for both avoiding and achieving pregnancy.

Growing in Discernment

Couples can also grow in their ability to discern or perceive God’s will in their lives as they make decisions regarding the planning of their family. I have found the principles of Ignatian discernment to be very helpful in my own life.

In addition, spending time in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament has been an important part of my own discernment of our family planning decisions.

By discerning their intention in using NFP, couples can grow in their ability to pray together, discuss their spiritual lives, and see God’s movement in their lives.

The practice of discernment applies to many situations couples face in the course of life and marriage.

Understanding Sacrificial Love

Couples can also grow spiritually as they practice responsible parenthood.

As Humanae Vitae states:

“With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.”

Growing a new life is both beautiful and physically and emotionally taxing. Understanding the realities of welcoming a child into your family is part of loving one another and your children well, even before a child is conceived.

Sacrificial love means placing your child’s (even before conception) and your spouse’s multifaceted needs before your own. Couples grow in sacrificial love when they consider all of these things and then discern to avoid or achieve pregnancy in a given season of life.

Accepting Suffering

In addition, couples experiencing infertility feel a great longing for a child that is not satisfied either temporarily or permanently. Couples who lose children to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death experience a profound grief which is often misunderstood by those around them.

Even without those heartaches, a couple avoiding pregnancy is not free of suffering.

They must lean into other ways besides intercourse to express their love during times of fertility. This suffering is greater for those who have more challenging charting situations as they may need to abstain from intercourse for longer periods of time.

Some couples avoiding pregnancy long for another child, but they cannot have more children for various reasons. Health conditions, medication side effects, upcoming surgeries, and many more issues may require couples to avoid pregnancy for a season, even if they don’t want to.

All of these seasons can be seen as manifestations of sacrificial love and opportunities to purge away selfishness, encourage mutual service in the couple, and help them align their wills with God’s even when it is difficult. In these periods of difficulty, couples can be drawn into the bleeding, suffering heart of Christ who longs to be united to us.

The True Meaning of Chastity

Through their use of Natural Family Planning, couples can grow in chastity. Chastity is an often-misunderstood virtue, and it isn’t just for single or engaged people. Everyone is called to chastity.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality…becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another” (paragraph 2337).

The Creighton Model refers to the acronym SPICE which stands for the different types of intimacy: spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative, communication, and emotional. Remembering those helps couples expand their understanding of their sexuality. Sexuality includes intercourse, but it is so much more than that. It also includes all the pathways that people can connect with each other, even with everyday things like prayer, holding hands, or discussing a great book together.

Through their use of NFP, couples can find ways to bond and strengthen their relationships that are non-genital in nature. Their understanding of intimacy broadens, as does their ability to connect on multiple levels.

The Fruit of Chastity

When couples avoid genital contact during fertile times because they are postponing or trying to avoid pregnancy, they are given the opportunity to grow in virtue and discipline. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“Chasity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy” (paragraph 2339).

Intercourse is neither over nor under-valued in sacramental married life. Couples grow in their appreciation of this beautiful way of expressing love by their growth in self-mastery. They are able to truly love each other rather than use each other for their own pleasure.

Couples who understand these aspects of Natural Family Planning are truly drawn closer to Jesus through the suffering endured during their fertility journey.

They are drawn closer to the Father as they discern His will for their lives and their family. They experience the works of the Holy Spirit through the blessing of children and the love they express through SPICE.

Together practicing these foundational virtues of Natural Family Planning can bring couples closer to God and help them live holier lives during their time on earth.

Article by Julie McKay, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

 

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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What You Didn’t Know about Natural Family Planning

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Read Time: 4 minutes

Children are a gift from the Lord. – Psalm 127:3

This reminder from Scripture is often underrated and forgotten, and conversations about planning your family in discernment with God need to have this understanding in mind.

Considering children can come up long before marriage prep even enters the picture.

“What if I can’t have kids?”

“What if I am infertile?”

“What if I have the same struggles as my parents with miscarriage, children, etc?”

These questions are often asked by women who are single or dating.

I sympathize greatly with those concerns because struggles with fertility can cause women to question their entire identity and their call towards spiritual or physical motherhood. So when these questions come up, I normally ask, “Why are you concerned about these things?”

The responses I get usually reveal that there is an understandable but irrational fear. Maybe a female friend or relative had fertility struggles. These women are afraid they will face the same thing. My follow up question is, “Do you chart?” When some unmarried women hear this, they cock their heads slightly and question why they should learn a method of natural family planning when they are even engaged. Others look at me intrigued.

“Well,” I normally begin, “a lot of your concerns can be identified even before you are married or are in marriage prep,” and at this point I typically see the light return to their eyes.

The Benefits of Charting

Beginning to chart, even before you are married, can provide a lot of hope for women.

While I can’t speak about other methods, the Creighton Model FertilityCare System can identify patterns indicative of infertility and other issues related to the cycle that can cause issues with having children some day.

For example, a woman’s chart can reveal problems with their progesterone, and the solution can be as easy as beginning a dose of bioidentical progesterone. That simple solution could fix the problem of miscarriage before it even happens. Although it isn’t the only one, low progesterone is often the culprit behind miscarriage.

On the other hand, a woman’s chart can reveal something that seems totally normal with no indicators of infertility, which can help put women at ease. This is just one of many examples that the Creighton Model System can help with.

For those who are navigating the marriage prep world, charting is also a really helpful tool to discern whether there is a serious reason to avoid a pregnancy, or which days can be selected for a baby to potentially enter the picture.

It can be exciting and nerve wrecking all at the same time to begin charting while planning a wedding, but I can tell you that it can also help put the fears and anxieties about fertility struggles to rest, or give a woman time to work on anything problematic in her chart before marriage begins.

It’s an important time to reflect on the fact that fertility, children, and their potential spouse are all a gift from God.

Navigating Disappointment

Now, there are times when couples and single women can get discouraged about not being able to have kids.

It’s important for them to feel those emotions and grieve where they need to. It’s painful to feel like you are losing a dream, but it’s also important to remember that ultimately children are a gift from God, and not something that can be forced. Couples in this position should seek out help (support from friends/mentors, Napro doctors, and others) so they can realize there’s still a sense of hope, and God is ultimately the one in charge.

Whether they are learning to track their cycles, trying to achieve or postpone pregnancy, dealing with infertility, or even conceiving a child, I’ve seen women and couples fall into two traps.

They forget that their fertility is a gift from God, and/or they wrongly assume that they are guaranteed to have a child during the exact cycle they are ready to conceive.

The desire for children is good. However, a child is a gift, which is given, not a piece of property to own.

When expectations don’t meet reality, and this comes in many forms throughout life, it can lead to severe disappointment and even resentment.

It is wonderful for women and couples to be aware of their fertility, to participate in it properly in the various stages of life, but ultimately, they need to learn to surrender the outcome to the Lord, even when the outcome is having, or not having, children.

Pray, Connect, and Breathe…

So, what is a couple (or single woman realizing that her chart shows likely infertility) supposed
to do in times where they are struggling with their fertility?

  1. Pray. This is a time to grow closer to God in prayer and be honest with him. This doesn’t mean that prayers need to sound like perfectly wrapped Christmas presents with a bow on top…God wants our hearts, our desires, and our honesty with Him. We can tell Him how we feel, and give Him space to speak into our wounded hearts.
  2. Spouses can grow in intimacy in new ways. In the Creighton Model System, we have something called SPICE, which stands for the spiritual, physical (not exclusive to intercourse), creative/communicative, and emotional aspects to the human person. These concepts remind couples that they can learn and grow even during times of difficulty.
  3. Find support – your priest, the parish Family Life Director, family, friends, or other couples in your parish community who have been through this experience.
  4. I end almost every list similar to this with the same advice – grab a latte, your favorite whipped cream, and breathe.

To quote Julian of Norwich, “all shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

Whether a woman is nursing her first baby, single and trying to navigate how cycles function, or engaged or newlywed and excited for marriage, it is important to never lose hope.

With prayer, time, and support, hope can become clearer and more real every day.

Article by Anna Murphy, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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A Shared Approach to Natural Family Planning

Read Time: 4 minutes

Red light, green light.

It’s a game I’ve seen some couples play as their approach to using Natural Family Planning (NFP). The woman attends most or all of the teaching sessions for the chosen method of NFP, she diligently charts and asks her instructor questions, and then she tells her husband if it’s a “go day” or a “no day.”

Can this system work? Sure, but I don’t think anyone really likes to be the gatekeeper, especially when it comes to intercourse.

Marriage involves sharing life with another person and helping get each other to Heaven. Understanding and taking care of your fertility can be part of that sanctifying, shared work. Prayerfully planning your family is a big responsibility, and it is one that should be shared. If you’re thinking about using NFP as a couple and wonder what it looks like and if it’s worth it, let’s dive into the details!

Objections to Sharing the Responsibility of Natural Family Planning

There are some objections I’ve seen with sharing the work of NFP. Some couples think they don’t have time to learn the system together. If you are engaged, you’ve got a million things you’re planning for the wedding. When are you meeting with your mentor couple? Did you call your parish back home to get your Baptism certificate sent over? Then, there’s the cake and the flowers and the seating chart and….the list goes on.

Those things seem so big, and they do matter.

However, the investments you make in your marriage during engagement will have huge ripple effects.

It’s easier to learn a method while you’re engaged and can get a handle on it before you try to use it for achieving or avoiding pregnancy. If you learn the method together, you’ll both feel confident using it once you’re married.

If you’re already married, you might have kids and worry about learning the system with them around. There are multiple solutions for this. Maybe you have someone who can help out with childcare. Maybe you can schedule an online session for after bedtime. The investment is worth your time and some creative planning.

Is Natural Family Planning Too Complicated?

Some couples also object to getting into the nitty gritty of biomarkers. Different methods of NFP track different signs of fertility or a combination of them. There’s basal body temperature, LH strips, monitoring hormone levels in urine, cervical positioning, cervical mucus, etc. One or both spouses might be hesitant to discuss these intimate bodily functions and biomarkers. They’re not glamorous. However, I like to say if you can talk about mucus, you can talk about anything.

Marriage involves talking about a lot of difficult topics. It’s not easy to talk about finances, communication, boundaries, relationships with extended family, etc. It takes practice to get used to navigating difficult conversations with your spouse. NFP and the details of the tracking process are some of these conversations. And let’s be real, marriage and parenthood involve messy bodily functions. Cleaning up a potty-training accident or the aftermath of a  stomach bug is not glamorous either.

How Can Men Help With NFP?

If you’re still on the fence about this whole shared use of NFP thing, I want to talk to the men specifically. You can help lead your family to holiness by sharing the everyday duties of NFP with your wife. Your role as a husband is to support your wife. You are partners on the road to Heaven. You are called to model for your children and those around you what it means to be a man of faith and a loving and supporting father and husband. As Ephesians 5:25 says,  “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her.”

That’s a tall order. Remember that marriage is a Sacrament. God will pour his grace into your marriage to enable you to live this call. “So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church.” (Ephesians 28-29). What more beautiful way to live out this call than to cherish and deeply know your wife’s fertility?

Natural Family Planning is About Both of You

While NFP methods focus on the biomarkers of the woman’s fertility, they’re really about the couple’s fertility. Men, in general, are always fertile. Women’s fertility changes throughout their cycles and their lives. However, the only meaningful thing to discuss is the couple’s fertility. It is the couple who will together, as one family unit, one body, try to achieve or postpone a pregnancy. Look at charting as a way to understand your shared fertility as a couple.

If you’re now ready to take on NFP as a team, here are some practical tips. First, attend the teaching sessions together so you both have the knowledge to use NFP well. In some situations, the woman will have learned a method of charting prior to engagement. If this is the case, it would be wise to set up some meetings with the woman’s instructor during the engagement. This will be a refresher for the woman, get the man up to speed, and allow both to ask any questions. Both the man and woman should read any educational materials for learning their chosen method.

Can Men Do the Charting?

It’s also my personal recommendation that the man does the charting and recording. This works best after the wedding, and the couple can begin by doing the charting together. Two sets of eyes are better than one! After the wedding, the husband can transition into taking the lead on the charting. He can provide encouragement and reminders and ask his wife what her observations for that day were. He can encourage her and ask what he can do to support her when she feels overwhelmed with a difficult chart or is adjusting to charting during a new season of life.

By sharing the responsibilities of Natural Family Planning, couples can work as a team to care for and know their fertility.

See More: Introductory Session to the Creighton Model FertilityCare System

Article by Julie McKay, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

 

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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My Journey With NFP in Real Life

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Read Time: 3 minutes

From single, to used, to married…

My journey with NFP in real life has been anything but linear.

A loop-de-loop would be a more appropriate term.

Even before marriage, I was encouraged by a Catholic mentor to proactively begin charting my menstrual cycles. Learning about my body’s cyclical nature was empowering, and it helped me discover my PCOS diagnosis! It was also fascinating to become aware of the intricacies of God’s design for a woman’s body.

Unfortunately, there was a time in my life when that knowledge was completely discarded, and what had started as an insightful journey was exchanged for someone else’s pleasure.

Trading NFP and Chastity for a Toxic Relationship

In my early twenties, I joyfully moved to the Twin Cities in Minnesota to pursue my master’s degree and be closer to my boyfriend. After five months in a big city far from home, my application was denied, and I was single.

During this low season, I met a man that I KNEW was no good for me, but it felt so nice to have some playful dates to take my mind off of the heartache I felt. However, it wasn’t long until things took a drastic turn.

This man quickly revealed that he could be both manipulative and controlling, and I felt swept along in a current that I couldn’t get out of. Before long, we were having a one-sided sexual relationship. I threw my years of charting and learning about my body out the window when he wanted sex. He had no interest in Natural Family Planning (NFP) and would put on a condom while he proceeded to use me.

It was dehumanizing, on many levels. This behavior continued for several months, and it wasn’t until I became pregnant (with twins!) that I made a heartfelt return to God, and He equipped me with the courage to escape.

Relearning Healthy Sexuality

Fast forward a few years (and several stories) later, and the twins and I are in a safe space. I became reacquainted with myself by resuming charting and learning my body’s new patterns (because postpartum can look different!). I also met the wonderful man who would become my husband.

When we began dating, I was very clear that NFP was important to me, and I invited him to explore it as well. He was open-minded and so supportive even though NFP was new to him.

After our marriage, it bolstered my confidence even more to see how he actively observed what my body was doing and participated alongside me in the journey of NFP.

While trying to conceive (TTC), there would be hilarious times when he would read the ClearBlue monitor and exclaim “It says peak!” as he hoisted me right back into the bed.

Reclaiming My Sexuality

Now, my husband and I have been learning to work together to discern whether we should try to wait (TTW) or TTC.

My body is respected and listened to, and as a result I feel more at home in my body.

I still grieve for the times in the past when I allowed myself to be used, but I also rejoice in how I am currently being honored.

Upon further reflection, I praise God for how He redeemed a situation that was not His will and turned it into a path for two people to come together in a way that respects His design for life.

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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Common Questions About NFP

Read Time: 4 minutes

There is a lot of excitement when you first get engaged. It can be a very thrilling season of life, but it also includes a big checklist of things to do. Depending on the length of your engagement, you’ll either be in a rush or have some time to complete everything. Either way, one thing that needs to be on your list is learning about Natural Family Planning or NFP.

Learning about NFP can be a daunting task. There are a lot of different methods out there to pick from and a multitude of opportunities to learn about them. You’ll have to make sure you fulfill all the requirements your diocese and parish require and decide whether you’ll take a course in-person or online.

With all this searching and decision-making, you may find yourself thinking about questions that you feel nervous or afraid to ask. No worries! There are no questions you cannot ask.

Allow us to get the “awkwardness” out of the way.

Here are some of the common questions couples have about Natural Family Planning:

Do we have to practice NFP?

The answer here is “yes” and “no”. Practicing NFP is a very personal decision that every couple has to make together. There are a lot of different methods you can practice, and making the decision as a team is important for building a strong foundation for intimacy in your marriage.

With that said, maybe one or both of you do not feel you need to practice NFP or don’t want to.

There are many reasons couples feel this way. Some feel they want to be totally open and let God do the deciding for them. Other couples simply don’t believe in it. If you’re unsure about using a natural method, make sure you voice your concerns with your NFP teacher or the priest, deacon, or family life director walking you through marriage prep.

Am I going to get pregnant right away if we use NFP?

This is a myth. There are a lot of people out there who believe using a natural method does not work and you will end up with tons and tons of children. This is not the case. If you need to avoid pregnancy when you first get married, and you are using a method of NFP, there is a good chance you will be successful.

No method is perfect, but if you start practicing your chosen method several months before your wedding and feel comfortable and confident with it, you really should be successful. There is a saying in the NFP community, “You know when you are fertile on any given day.” That knowledge can help you determine the perfect time to start a family and delay it if necessary.

Isn’t NFP too hard?

NFP does have its ups and downs, just like life. A woman’s body changes with the seasons of her life, which means her natural cycles change from time to time as well.

There will be times when you know exactly what is happening with your cycle, and there will be other times when it’s difficult to interpret. Either way, you just can have faith and avoid living in fear. Living in fear, or constantly feeling like you’re struggling, can hinder your success with NFP.

If you’re having a hard time with NFP, maybe you need to switch to a different method or connect with other couples and discuss your issues. Some methods have practitioners you can work with one-on-one: use those practitioners to your advantage, they are there to help you. NFP teaches us to turn our negative motivations into positive ones.

None of my friends or family use NFP, so how do I explain it to them?

First and foremost, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing. That may sound harsh, but it is true. Ultimately, you are doing what is best for your marriage and your overall health by using NFP.

That is the truest explanation; you are doing the best thing for you.

Your friends and family may not agree or understand, and that is okay. This could be your chance to educate them and maybe even change their hearts. It may be best to pass along the links to classes or websites you’ve learned from, and let them research for themselves. The bottom line: do not decide to use Natural Family Planning based on the opinions of others; make the choice for you and your spouse.

Ask and Ask Again

When it comes to using Natural Family Planning, you may have many more questions. It can be confusing and even intimidating at the beginning, but do not be afraid to ask questions and keep asking.

You are making a big decision for your marriage and future family.

If you need help making the right choice, there are great resources available online. Your parish and/or diocese can also help you research the best Natural Family Planning solution for your family.

Author: Daria Bailey, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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Discovering Better Health Through Natural Family Planning

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Read Time: 3 minutes

“Well…I suppose we could put you on the pill for that.”

This was a phrase I heard all too often during my adolescence. When I sought help for longer than normal periods, the sharp pain in my abdomen, or troublesome acne, the answer always came back to the pill. 

I was actively practicing my Catholic faith, so taking something to prevent pregnancy when I was unmarried and not sexually active made little sense to me. There had to be a solution that honored God’s commands AND relieved my series of problems.

In adulthood, when my symptoms persisted, the answer was similar: “Well, we can do the pill, IUD, or an injection.” None of these were compatible with what Catholicism teaches, and even if I took them, they wouldn’t help my symptoms in the long run. They were just being used as a bandaid without actually treating the deeper problem.

Discouraged, I just pressed on the best I could. But, God saw me and had a divine appointment set up for me. One where he would introduce me to a solution that would be both informative and healing.

Discovering Natural Family Planning

I first heard about Natural Family Planning (NFP) when I served in college as a missionary with NET ministries. In the midst of a particularly painful and unexpected period, one of my older female teammates asked if this was normal for me. When I gave a disgruntled “yeah” she asked if I charted my cycle. They were too irregular to chart, I replied, but she gave me information about NFP anyway.

She told me that NFP was a system that tracks and works with a woman’s fertility cycle instead of repressing it. She shared her experience with it, and my mind was blown!

Why did it take 5 years of seeking help before I was finally introduced to a scientific, faith-based way to explore my fertility!?

She gave me resources on the Billings Method, and I became familiar with my cervix and its fluid and learned to chart my periods. It was exciting to read the signs my body was giving and actually know what they meant. Meanwhile, I was becoming significantly more aware of what my body was doing. I also began to notice some abnormalities when I compared my fertility chart to the “average” chart for my age, but they did not appear to be that concerning at the time.

Discovering a Problem

Fast forward to several years later, my husband and I were trying to conceive, and it was just not happening. It was deeply frustrating, and I felt a sadness in my heart that made me identify with Sarah of the Old Testament.

Why, why can’t we have a child?  

I prayed and cried with friends; I prayed and cried with my husband, and it felt…desolate. Then, I reached out to my old friend from NET ministries, and she suggested a deeper dive into NFP with the Marquette Method which uses a machine to test the estrogen (a hormone that regulates menstruation) and LH (a hormone related to ovulation) levels during a woman’s cycle. Since she gives pretty solid pointers, I decided to invest in the full kit.

One month into testing, it quickly became clear that I was not ovulating. An LH surge was nowhere to be seen, and estrogen was staying high for WAY too long! I took this information to my OB, and she ordered some blood tests. Sure enough, God answered my prayers, and I finally got some deeper insight into my infertility.

Discovering Better Health

They diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. PCOS had been at the root of my longer-than-normal periods, years of abnormal pain, various hormonal issues, and now, infertility. While having this condition is a pain (literally!), actually knowing what was wrong with me was an answer to prayer and such a relief.

I finally had an answer and could now develop a way to relieve my symptoms while working together with God’s design for my body.

Currently, I am managing my PCOS symptoms and still praying to get pregnant! Without NFP and this diagnosis, it would’ve been incredibly difficult (but not impossible for our great God) to conceive, since those who have PCOS rarely ovulate.

Through the practice of NFP, I’ve been able to work with my fearfully and wonderfully made body the way God intended. It’s clear to me that through that cooperation he is healing my body in more ways than one… but the rest of that story is for another day.

Author: Alonna Hunt

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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5 Qualities of a Great NFP Course

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Read Time: 4 minutes

Considering our vocation to be a light to the world, we have a duty to discover and transmit God’s truth in all aspects of human existence, including human sexuality. And that involves sharing the truth about the often misunderstood and hotly debated topic of natural family planning (NFP).

Let’s begin with a definition from the USCCB:

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is the general title for the scientific, natural, and moral methods of family planning that can help married couples either achieve or postpone pregnancy.

NFP methods are based on the observation of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle. No drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy.

Since the methods of NFP respect the love-giving (unitive) and life-giving (procreative) nature of the conjugal act, they support God’s design for married love!

Put simply, NFP entails using natural methods to achieve or postpone pregnancy. As a pastor of souls, you know how quickly the issue can get complicated and very specific.

The best way to address the needs of your faithful is to provide a cohesive and comprehensive education on NFP that supports God’s design for marital love. (This is especially applicable for couples in marriage preparation courses.)

Many NFP courses are available, but not all are created equally. Here are five qualities of a great NFP course:

1. It Stays true to proven science

Catholic sexual morality is not something the world of science is well-versed in. At the same time, even some of the most well-intentioned Catholics aren’t comfortable in the world of reproductive science.

So if you’re evaluating a course on NFP for your own instruction or for your parish, make sure you dig a little to ensure it provides scientific data to support any concrete assertions.

What does the science really say about natural family planning?

The vast majority of reliable scientific research supports the following statements:

  • NFP has zero side effects and is completely natural (unlike artificial contraceptives).
  • NFP is an effective method for even sub-fertile couples to conceive a child naturally. (Studies show NFP reduces the time to achieving pregnancy by as much as 70%)
  • When carefully followed, NFP is just as effective, if not more effective, at postponing pregnancy than artificial contraception.

2. It Respects the authentic teachings of the Church

Whether it’s talked about or not, many Catholics believe that NFP is all about preventing pregnancy while enjoying the pleasure of the marital act, which means that many people love the idea of NFP while others spurn it as “Catholic contraception.” Still, others believe it’s all about having as many children as possible; after all, didn’t our Father in heaven command us to “go forth and multiply?”

All of these opinions are sorely mistaken and require gentle instruction from the Church’s pastors.

A proper NFP course must take great pains to coalesce with the authentic teachings of Holy Mother Church to recall any lost sheep and keep the rest on the straight and narrow.

The supreme authority of the Church has given us some general guidance on the topic as we find in Pius XI’s encyclical Casti Connubii, Pope St. Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae, and Pope St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Additionally, a course must take care to consult any local bishops’ conferences providing suggested talking points on the topic of NFP.

3. It Explains the legitimate health benefits of NFP

One of the often-overlooked beauties of NFP is that it allows a woman to listen to her body and be more in-tune with how God created her.

Instead of living in ignorance, or worse, resorting to destructive artificial methods catered toward unnatural and selfish desires, a woman practicing NFP enjoys a number of real health benefits in line with God’s established order.

Through charting ovulation and menstruation women are able to use NFP as a means to help regulate their cycles. NFP is also helpful in diagnosing and treating women suffering from reproductive conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, and ovarian cysts.

NFP can be used at all stages of a woman’s reproductive life without the damaging physical side effects of hormones, drugs, or other forms of artificial contraception.

4. It Expresses the spiritual aspect of the marital love

The best NFP courses never stay at the natural level. As with everything in our Faith, all things refer to God and lead us back to Him. Human sexuality and natural family planning are no exceptions.

In addition to the health benefits discussed above, NFP provides the couple the opportunity to see sexuality in a much nobler light. This opens the door to a more complete understanding of how and why God created us with sexual desires and the true meaning of the conjugal act.

NFP emphasizes both aspects of marital love:

The life-giving (procreative) aspect – by preserving an openness to life, unlike artificial methods.

The love-giving (unitive) aspect – by which the spouses work as one in a mutual and intimate gift of self where there’s no room for selfish or base desires.

Thus, the faithful practice of NFP can reflect God’s love for each and every one of us… a love that is life-giving and love-giving.

5. It Shares the rich benefits brought to married life

By supporting God’s intended plan for human sexuality (the life-giving and love-giving aspects), couples using NFP witness extraordinary benefits in their married life. According to Theology of the Body, love needs to be true, total, faithful, and fruitful. By its very nature, practicing NFP helps to promote healthy communication and respect within marriage. Individually, the husband and wife progress to a greater understanding and respect for themselves and one another. And as a couple, they discover a much deeper appreciation for the beautiful gift of human sexuality and the supreme dignity of their marital bond.

Faithful exercise of NFP allows spouses to enter into reflection about the Divine plan in their own marriage. It supports and protects their dignity. As husband and wife to carry out their marriage truly, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully through NFP, they unlock deeper levels of intimacy.

As a pastor seeking to inform yourself or to offer marriage preparation resources for your faithful, you know that an approachable and authentically Catholic course on NFP is vital for the adequate propagation of the truths of human sexuality.

If that’s what you’re looking for, check out our newly completed on-demand course on NFP.

And don’t worry, we made sure to check all five boxes above before sharing it with you.

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What is Natural Family Planning (NFP)?

Read Time: 3 minutes

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is a method of planning your family in a natural way that respects the Catholic Church and allows you to manage your fertility.

NFP allows you the freedom to achieve, postpone or avoid pregnancy.

The unique benefit is that NFP does not use harmful drugs that provide a barrier to the connection with your spouse.

By using NFP, you can care for and create the size of family that you believe is right for your situation.

You can both help yourself conceive or stop yourself from conceiving, naturally.

What are the benefits of Natural Family Planning?

There are a number of benefits associated with NFP.

While a child is the greatest blessing, many families wish to limit the number of children they have. This could be due to financial, health and other reasons.

In short, NFP will help you and your spouse to decide the right time to have children.

Here are a few benefits of using natural family planning:

  • Using NFP will help to strengthen your marriage.
    • There will be no literal or figurative barriers to sexual intercourse. NFP requires you to communicate and cooperate about procreation and when it happens. Both spouses will then find that NFP encourages them to respect and accept the other person, while using this method.
  • NFP methods support the reproductive health of the woman.
    • Contraceptive methods have harmful side effects and do irreversible damage to both men and women. NFP is an environmentally-friendly way to control conception and costs nothing.
  • NFP will help you to value your child and honor God’s design for your life and marriage.
    • It is a method that respects procreation as a way of deepening intimacy in a marriage. It will also allow a couple to find non-sexual ways of expressing their love during times of abstinence.

Who can use Natural Family Planning?

Any married couple can use NFP methods.

Because NFP requires a shared commitment between both spouses, both husbands and wives will use and benefit from NFP methods. Finding a qualified instructor or taking a course on natural family planning is the best thing to do before you get married.

If you are already married, it is not too late to learn about NFP!

What are the methods used?

Based on scientific facts about fertility, couples will monitor the woman’s menstrual cycle closely, figuring out the best times for conception and planning around these times, whether they are trying to conceive or avoid pregnancy. There are three categories of NFP methods.

  • Cervical Mucus Method (CMM) (also called Ovulation Method)
    Using this method, a woman tracks and learns about her cervical mucus and its changes during different times of her cycle. By doing so, she can figure out the most optimal days for sexual intercourse based on when she is most likely to get pregnant.
  • Sympto-Thermal Method (STM)
    Using this method, couples observe if there are signs of fertility happening in order to pinpoint if ovulation is occurring. Using her basal body temperature and the tracking of cervical mucus, plus other signs of ovulation, the STM method is an effective NFP method.
  • Sympto-Hormonal Method (SHM)
    Using an ovulation predictor kit or fertility monitor, the couple will monitor reproductive hormones in the urine to find out the optimal time for timing intercourse.

Married couples can continue to have a loving and mutually respectful relationship using natural family planning methods.

An introduction to Natural Family Planning is another essential step of most parish’s or diocesan marriage preparation requirements. NFP Life®, offered by The Marriage Group, is a prefect resource to fulfill that requirement, as well as introduce you to the transformative benefits of practicing NFP in your married-life. Learn more here: https://themarriagegroup.com/courses/nfp-life

 

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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