The moment you say, “I do,” you and your partner begin your adventure of intentionally getting to know each other at deeper levels. The mystery of who you and your spouse are and how you and your spouse came to be is a gift for you to both unwrap together!
One thing that you will learn about your partner is the traditions that they had in their family of origin when it comes to the holidays.
You may be wondering… What is a Family of Origin?
The family of origin is the family in which we come from — the home where we were formed into the person that we are today. We all have a family of origin and they all look different.
As the saying goes, we are a product of our environment. While we can drill down to many different nuances within this topic alone, we are going to focus on traditions, specifically for this holiday season.
Each family celebrates the holidays in a different way. Some families don’t even celebrate at all!
As you continue getting to know your spouse, it is important that you also get to know his/her family of origin’s traditions when it comes to the holidays. The best way to do this? Simply ask!
We suggest that you ask your spouse the following questions:
- How did your family of origin celebrate Thanksgiving?
- How did your family of origin celebrate Christmas?
- How did your family of origin celebrate New Year?
- What other family traditions are celebrated during this holiday season?
The end of the year can be a challenge for many couples. We often have our own expectations about how the holidays should be celebrated.
However, this may call for a time of adjusting expectations, now that you have a new family — and that is a good thing! The end of the year allows us to share with our spouses how we enjoy celebrating them, and also to participate the different traditions that come with our spouse’s way of celebrating.
Our suggestion on achieving this mutual enjoyment of celebrating within each other’s traditions is to have open and positive communication together. You might even be surprised that your traditions go hand-in-hand with one another, or even compliment one another.
Our challenge for you and your spouse:
The four questions previously mentioned in this article are intended to be a starting point in the conversation, and it all leads up to this final challenge.
Once you establish clear expectations, you can come together as a couple and make your own plans. Create your own traditions together! These new traditions can be a mix of what you and your spouse experienced in your own families of origin, plus a dash (or several dashes) of what makes your relationship unique. Remember — This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
This is what the beauty of marriage is all about!
We hope that you find this article to be helpful as we begin to dip our toes into the holiday season. From all of us at The Marriage Group, we wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!