Keep Your Marriage Evergreen
The more you do something, the better you get at it, but there is also a danger of taking it for granted.
Marriage is like a tree. It takes time to grow and flower. It also needs to be planted in the best “soil” and nourished frequently. Let’s examine a few ways we can keep our marriages holy, fresh, and evergreen.
Parable of the Sower- Spiritual Soil Matters
Jesus taught in a variety of ways, but one of the methods I find ever-relevant and applicable to my daily life are his parables. Among his most famous is the Parable of the Sower featured in the three Synoptic Gospels.
In the parable, our Lord discusses how a farmer scatters seeds on different environments: a path with no soil, rocky ground, soil with thorns, and healthy soil. The seeds that fell on the path were swept away as they didn’t have a chance to take root. For the second and third set of seeds, they grew a bit but didn’t produce any fruit because of being in poor soil.
However, the seeds planted in good soil were able to produce a bountiful harvest. Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of this parable in Matthew 13:19-23:
19 The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart.
20 The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
21 But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away.
22 The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit.
23 But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Putting the Parable into Practice
This parable provides insight into my marriage. I can only see the fruit when my heart grows in rich and healthy (spiritual) soil. These fruits include generosity, gratitude, kindness in word, thought, and deed. I experience increased patience and a more natural inclination to love my wife with a servant mindset.
What does a healthy spiritual soil look like?
God can grow a marriage in different ways, but what I’ve found to be the most common elements are regular prayer and sacramental living.
Daily prayer is important for the development and growth of a personal relationship with God. I pray in the morning, before meals, and before I go to sleep. This is the minimum, and doesn’t take a ton of time. I believe God values the intent far more than the amount of time a person commits to prayer.
I also make it a habit to pray daily with my wife. My wife and I have worked split shifts for the past five years, and our shared prayer life has struggled at times. We make a point to always pray together at least once a day.
Nourish Marriage with Sonlight
Along with proper soil, plants require sunlight to grow. The same is true for marriage. Well, except you need something more: S-O-N-L-I-G-H-T.
See what I did there?
We learn in John 8:12 and 9:5 that Jesus is the Light of the World. He radiates the love of God the Father to the rest of the Body of Christ. While the best way to receive his graces is through the sacrament of the Eucharist, it’s important to remember the sometimes underrated approach to getting direct Sonlight: Eucharistic Adoration.
In the Mass, the bread and wine are transformed into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus. And the best part? A consecrated host remains as the Real Presence of Jesus after Mass.
This is where Eucharistic Adoration comes in. Most parishes set aside a time to expose the Blessed Sacrament on the altar for worship. Visiting Jesus in this special way warms my heart with His Divine Love. During Adoration, I sometimes read a theology book, the Sunday Gospels, or I simply pray in silence. I try visiting Our Lord once a week on Thursdays.
It’s amazing to see how my heart is changed and how I view my marriage differently after basking in the Divine Sonlight.
Remain Close to the True Vine
While soil and light are the primary ingredients for plant nourishment, the channel by which the leaves are fed is through the central stem or trunk.
Jesus referred to Himself as the True Vine. He said this plainly in John 15:1, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.” Our Lord went on to describe how branches that remain with the true vine produce fruit and those that don’t die and need to be pruned.
Remaining with Jesus helps my marriage flourish. I talked already about the importance of visiting Jesus through Eucharistic Adoration. Receiving Jesus’ Body and Blood in the Eucharist is how I remain with Him. Taking care of plants is simple, but it requires time, patience, and diligence. The same is true for developing a marriage. God gave me, and all of us, the Catholic Church who acts as the guide for how to grow in holiness and remain close to the True Vine.
In conclusion, I strive to nurture a holy and evergreen marriage by cultivating the right spiritual environment, just as a plant needs fertile soil, sunlight, and a connection to the vine. By establishing a rich prayer life, frequently receiving the sacraments (especially the Eucharist), and spending time in Eucharistic Adoration, I seek to deepen my relationship with Christ, the True Vine.
I do my best to remain rooted in Him, so His divine love will nourish my marriage and enable it to bear abundant fruit and withstand the challenges of life. With patience, diligence, and a commitment to growing together in holiness, I believe these practices will help my marriage flourish and thrive, reflecting the beauty and joy of God’s design.
