What NFP Really Means to This Married Guy

Natural Family Planning (NFP) combines together threads of faith, trust, and love. It’s a path that invites couples to be in harmony with God’s design for marriage and fertility. But let’s be real – it’s not always a waltz in the park. Sometimes it feels more like a clumsy tango with stepped-on toes and occasional missteps. Yet, through it all, NFP offers a profound opportunity for growth, both as individuals and as a couple.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this NFP journey, it’s that prayer isn’t just important – it’s as essential as breathing. When you’re entrusting your marriage and family planning to God, you’d better believe you need a direct line to the Big Guy upstairs!

Saint Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote, “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17). These words aren’t just beautiful scripture; they’re a lifeline for couples navigating the sometimes choppy waters of NFP.

And let’s not forget the wise words of Saint Padre Pio: “Pray, hope, and don’t worry”. Easier said than done, Padre! But you know what? He’s onto something. When you’re trying to decipher fertility signs or wrestling with the decision to postpone or achieve pregnancy, prayer can be your anchor.

Now, I’m not going to sugarcoat it – the NFP journey can involve some heart-wrenching moments. My wife and I have walked through the valley of miscarriage, and let me tell you, it’s a path no one wants to tread. After experiencing the heartbreak of losing our unborn children, the thought of trying again was, well, terrifying.

But here’s the thing – even in those darkest moments, our faith was a flickering flame that refused to go out. It reminded us that, somehow, all things work for the good of those who love God. It didn’t erase the pain, but it gave us hope to keep moving forward.

Trusting in the Lord always – it sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? Like something you’d see on an inspirational poster with a sunset backdrop. But living it out? That’s where the rubber meets the road.

I’m eternally grateful for the solid foundation of faith my parents gave me. It’s what helped me welcome NFP as a beautiful and good thing for my marriage. Even during my lowest point, in the aftermath of our losses, it was my Catholic faith that kept me from completely losing my marbles.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops puts it beautifully: “NFP methods are based on the observation of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle. … NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child” (USCCB, “What is NFP?”).

This isn’t just about following rules – it’s about embracing a whole way of life that honors God’s design for love and fertility.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. “Freedom? In family planning? Are you kidding me?” But hear me out. There’s a profound freedom in aligning your choices with God’s will.

As the Tobin Institute points out, “NFP allows a couple to work with the body’s natural processes instead of working against them. … [It] fosters authentic marital love and a genuine openness to life” (Tobin Institute, “Finding Freedom Through Natural Family Planning”).

This freedom isn’t about doing whatever you want. It’s about being free to love fully, to give yourself completely to your spouse and to God’s plan for your family. It’s about being free from the artificial barriers that contraception puts between couples.

Is it always easy? Heck no! There are times when abstinence feels like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops. There are moments of fear, doubt, and frustration. But there are also moments of incredible intimacy, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Natural Family Planning isn’t just a method – it’s a journey. A journey that will challenge you, stretch you, and ultimately, draw you closer to each other and to God. It’s about trusting in God’s plan, even when that plan looks different from what you imagined.

So, to all you couples out there navigating the NFP waters – keep praying, keep hoping, and try not to worry too much (thanks, Padre Pio!). Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. God is with you every step of the way, and He’s got a plan bigger and more beautiful than you can imagine.