When you take the ultimate commitment plunge – getting engaged, there are an increasing number of deep waterways you may have to navigate together. To name a few, there’s adjusting to your new relationship status, making decisions together, planning the wedding, and navigating your future in-laws. While every couple wants to enjoy this special time, you may need a few tips to keep your head above water:
This too shall pass
Your fiancé’s bad mood, the fact that someone messed up the booking for the wedding venue, bridesmaid drama, the pressure to find the perfect dress, the never-ending wedding costs – these are all temporary stressors and it’s important to remember that you will come out on the other side. Try not to lose perspective as things get stressful during the wedding planning, and make sure you come back to the most important thing: you have each other and that’s all you ever really wanted.
Don’t go to bed angry
Not just applicable during the engagement stage, for many, this is solid marital and life advice. Going to bed, refusing to speak to each other other, and retreating in anger is not going to solve anything. It’s okay to disagree or not come to a happily ever after ending, but you can’t let your anger fester when you both go to sleep for the night. Agree to disagree or call a temporary truce until you can re-visit the issue in the light of day.
Have alone time
Set boundaries and don’t allow yourselves to get too caught up in the early love stages of wanting to always be together, always be in the same room, or always talking to each other on the phone. It is important for you both to continue to foster your own sense of self, away from the relationship, as well as maintain other friendships outside of each other. Together, these personal activities allow you to both show up better as a person and as a partner.
Be open to change
It might be as simple as a change in the font on the wedding invitations, to something as big as making adjustments to your daily routines to accommodate each other and your families. Whatever the case is, the need to be open to change is a common theme as you embark on a new relationship, a new lifestyle, and something as big as planning a wedding. Start with small steps, by simply agreeing to be open to listening to new ideas. Gradually work up to adopting, offering, and embracing change. Remember that you are changing to become better people together than you were when you were apart.
Ultimately, marriage is designed to help you become the best version of yourself, while simultaneously helping someone else do the same. Don’t spoil this special time with silly fights over flowers and cake flavors. Instead, keep perspective of what’s important to enjoy your days as you prepare to spend the rest of your lives together.