Living Out Your Marriage During Holiday Stress

Marriage during the holidays tests our patience like few other seasons. Just as my wife and I learned while preparing for her major surgery, disruption to family routines requires intentional grace. With four young children, including two sons with autism, we’ve discovered that virtue isn’t about perfection – it’s about choosing love in small moments.

When schedules shift and tensions rise, practice small acts of virtue. A gentle word when your spouse forgets an item (evaporated milk!) on the shopping list. A moment of patience when holiday preparations don’t go as planned. These seemingly minor choices build a foundation of love that withstands seasonal stress.

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” wrote St. Mary Euphrasia Pelletier. When the world moves at lightning pace and pressures mount faster than holiday credit card bills, taking time to appreciate your spouse becomes essential. The catch? As with any gift from God, we must choose to accept it.

St. Josemaria Escriva reminds us to “Get used to lifting your heart to God, in acts of thanksgiving, many times a day. Because he gives you this and that; because you have been despised; because you haven’t what you need or because you have. Thank him for everything, because everything is good.”

In our family, we’ve found beauty in unexpected moments. When our daughters created a homemade bouquet to remember their sibling lost to miscarriage, it brought tears of grateful recognition – even in loss, love grows. These moments remind us that gratitude isn’t about perfect circumstances but about seeing God’s grace in all seasons.

Amidst the holiday rush, carving out time for connection becomes both more challenging and more crucial. My wife and I share funny memes and one-liners throughout the day, finding humor in life’s chaos. Whether it’s laughing about our son (our “one-man football team”) running through the living room or sharing children’s innocent observations about faith, these moments of lightness strengthen our bond.

My wife and I love playing board games so we make it a point to put the kids to bed early some Fridays to spend quality time together. Pandemic Legacy, Backgammon, and deck-building games are some of our favorites.

Create small rituals of relaxation that fit your schedule. Even five minutes of shared quiet with a cup of coffee can become sacred space on a busy day.

The foundation of managing holiday stress lies in shared prayer. This year, my wife and I completed both a Eucharistic and Marian Consecration. These spiritual journeys provided an anchor during life’s curveballs – or should I say snowballs during winter?

When my wife was telling me about the anxiety she was facing thinking about work and the surgery, I told her, “Remember tonight we are starting the Eucharistic Consecration. There’s no better cure to worry than thinking about our Lord.” And on the days where I felt angst from all the various things I had to do for work my wife reminded me to trust in Jesus and ask the Blessed Virgin Mary for help.

Prayer doesn’t require elaborate plans. Start small: a shared morning offering, grace before meals, or evening gratitude. Let prayer become your pathway to peace, turning holiday chaos into opportunities for spiritual intimacy.

Remember, your marriage isn’t meant to achieve perfection but to grow in love through all seasons. As you navigate holiday stress together, let faith be your foundation and grace your guide. After all, the greatest gift you can give each other this season is the gift of presence – both to each other and to God.

Author: Matt Chicoine

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