Quiet quitting is a hot topic in the work-world, but how do the same behaviors translate to our other relationships? Jessie sits down with Pat & Kenna Millea, co-founders of the Martin Center for Integration, and discusses the ways we check out, detach, and otherwise quit our marriages while also showing up everyday like everything is okay.
In This Episode…
Fun & Interesting Quotes on Quiet Quitting in Relationships:
“I thought marriage was going to solve all my problems. That once we’re married, I won’t have these attachments, desires, temptations, addictions anymore because it’s a sacrament and, and God is good and he’s gonna rescue me from all these human frailties.”
“A sacrament is not magic. It doesn’t automatically make someone a disciple. It gives them all the grace they need by the Holy Spirit to be a disciple, but they have to say yes to that gift.”
“It’s a lack of willful, intentional investment when we quietly quit anything, essentially to go through the motions, but without the heart, without the sense of conviction.”
“Some of that conflict is actually what makes the relationship exciting and good.”
“It doesn’t take much to really make a seismic difference in a marriage.”
Key Takeaways on Quiet Quitting:
Everyday Distractions Can Impact Our Relationship:
There are so many things vying for our attention and many of them are an incredibly easy lift compared to the rigors of maintaining a healthy marriage. Couples have to be realistic about how their stress-relieving behaviors like scrolling devices, binge-watching, extended focus on hobbies, can steal time and energy for checking in with one another and connecting.
Marriage Won’t Solve Your Personal Issues:
Every vice you came into the marriage with will still be with you after the wedding day. It’s natural to think that marriage will make you a better person, and it can, but that’s a process that extends over years with lots of hard work.
Embracing the Sacramental Aspect of Marriage Opens the Door to Grace:
When couples realize that marriage is a sacred bond, it can transform they way they approach their relationship. The sacramental understanding of marriage can help couples see the connection between their faith and the rest of their lives together. It gives meaning and purpose to the everyday aspects of their marriage and helps them understand the self-sacrificial nature of love.
How to Reverse or Avoid Quiet Quitting:
Intentional Investment:
Be proactive in investing time and effort into your relationship. This includes setting aside dedicated time for meaningful conversations and activities that strengthen your bond.
Embrace Complementarity:
Recognize and appreciate the differences between you and your spouse. Instead of viewing them as threats, see them as opportunities for greater understanding and complementarity in your marriage.
Pursue Communication and Conflict Resolution:
Engage in open and honest communication. Accept that conflict is a natural part of any relationship and can be an opportunity for growth and excitement when handled constructively.
Grace & Human Effort
Balance the grace of the sacrament with human effort. Make room for the grace of marriage by actively working on your relationship, allowing the spiritual and practical aspects to work together.
Who Are Pat & Kenna Millea?
Pat & Kenna Millea, co-founders of The Martin Center for Integration
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