September 2025 - The Marriage Group

Harvest Holiness: October Saints Nurture Marital Love

Read Time: 4 minutes

As the leaves turn vibrant shades of red and gold, October brings not just the beauty of autumn but also a spiritual bounty for married couples. My wife’s birthday falls during this month, reminding me of the precious gift of marriage God has blessed us with. It’s also a time rich with feast days of saints who can offer profound wisdom for our marital journeys.

Seasons of Change, Unchanging Love

October is a month of transition. It starts with trees full of colorful leaves and ends with bare branches, colder weather, and earlier sunsets. This changing of seasons can be symbolic of the various phases our marriages go through. Just as nature prepares for the coming winter, we too can weather the changing seasons of our relationships by recentering our focus on the Unchanging One—God.

As Joshua 24:15 reminds us, “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” This commitment to serving God together can be our anchor through all of life’s transitions. Most of our adult lives occur in this “not-yet-at-the-end” period, much like October leading into November and the end of the liturgical year. The honeymoon or springtime of marriage goes by so quickly, and it’s easy to fall prey to the temptation of judging our marriage solely by how we feel in the moment. Instead, let’s look to the saints and our faith to guide us through each season.

The Month of the Holy Rosary

October is dedicated to the Most Holy Rosary, a powerful tool for strengthening our marriages. Saint Louis de Montfort wisely advised, “Recite your Rosary with faith, with humility, with confidence, and with perseverance.” These qualities—faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance—are not only crucial for praying the Rosary but also for nurturing a strong, lasting marriage. Consider making the Rosary a part of your daily routine as a couple, allowing Mary’s intercession to guide your relationship. Now, let’s explore how five remarkable saints, celebrated in October, can illuminate and strengthen your marriage:

1. St. Thérèse of Lisieux (October 1)

The Little Flower’s wisdom is a balm for any marriage. She taught that it’s not the grandeur of our actions but the love behind them that matters. In the daily grind of married life, it’s easy to focus on tasks and forget the loving intention behind them. Whether it’s doing the dishes or planning a date night, St. Thérèse reminds us to infuse every action with love for our spouse.

2. Guardian Angels (October 2)

Every night, my children and I pray to our guardian angels before bed. This practice can be a beautiful addition to your family routine, fostering a sense of divine protection over your household. As a couple, consider praying together for your angels’ guidance in your relationship. The Catechism reminds us that “human life is surrounded by their watchful care and intercession” (CCC 336). Imagine the power of heavenly beings watching over your marriage!

3. St. Francis of Assisi (October 4)

Francis’s radical embrace of poverty can inspire us to examine our priorities in marriage. Are we too focused on material possessions? How can we simplify our lives to focus more on each other? His famous prayer, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,” is a beautiful mantra for married couples, encouraging us to bring harmony to our relationships and homes.

4. St. Maria Faustina (October 5)

St. Faustina’s teachings on Divine Mercy transformed my wife’s faith journey and ultimately led to her conversion to Catholicism. In marriage, mercy is crucial. Faustina’s insights can help us view our spouse through God’s eyes of mercy, fostering forgiveness and compassion. Her words, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul,” can provide comfort during challenging times in your marriage.

5. St. Teresa of Avila (October 15)

Teresa’s spiritual classic, “The Interior Castle,” offers a roadmap for deepening our spiritual lives. As married couples, we can journey together through this “interior castle,” supporting each other’s growth in faith. Teresa’s teachings on prayer can enrich your spiritual intimacy as a couple.

Embracing Saintly Wisdom in Your Marriage

These saints offer us a treasure trove of wisdom for our marriages. Here are some practical ways to incorporate their teachings:

Create a prayer corner in your home with images of these saints, reminding you of their examples.
Choose one saint each week to focus on as a couple. Read about their lives and discuss how their teachings apply to your marriage.
Pray the Rosary together daily, following St. Louis de Montfort’s advice to do so with faith, humility, confidence, and perseverance.
Practice small acts of love and mercy towards each other daily, inspired by St. Thérèse and St. Faustina.
Simplify an area of your life together, following St. Francis’s example.
Reflect on the changing seasons and how they mirror the phases of your marriage. Use this as an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment to serving God together.

As we journey through October, let’s allow these saintly companions to guide us. Their examples of love, mercy, simplicity, and deep faith can transform our marriages, leading us closer to each other and to God. Remember, as St. Teresa of Avila said, “God alone suffices.” When we center our marriages on Him, with the saints as our guides, we build a foundation that can weather any storm.

May this October be a time of spiritual renewal for your marriage, a “second spring” where every moment of love between you blossoms like the colorful leaves of autumn. As the world around us changes, let your love for each other and for God remain constant, a beacon of warmth and light as we move towards the colder months. Embrace this transitional time as an opportunity to deepen your bond, knowing that with faith and perseverance, your marriage can thrive.

Article by Matthew Chicoine.

Matthew is a left-handed cradle Catholic who enjoys reading everything Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Chesterton and is also an avid comic book fan. He is married to his wife Jennifer and has four children. Matthew’s favorite saints include Athanasius, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Philip Neri and John of the Cross. Discover more of his Catholic content by visiting: thesimplecatholic.blog.

September 30, 2025/by Matthew Chicoine

1) What is Natural Family Planning?

Natural Family Planning is a method of achieving or avoiding pregnancy that does not involve artificial means. Natural Family Planning (NFP) relies on the female body’s natural cycles to identify fertility. NFP is also called Fertility Awareness. Because every woman’s natural cycles are different and can even change month to month, monitoring, charting, and awareness are part of practicing NFP.

When using Natural Family Planning, couples will abstain from intercourse for a few days before ovulation and for a time after ovulation to avoid pregnancy. For those trying to achieve pregnancy, they will have intercourse during the time of maximum fertility.

No other means of contraception are used if a couple is practicing Natural Family Planning.

Natural Family Planning is completely free, but there may be costs associated with educational courses and tracking devices or apps.

2) Why does the Catholic Church teach Natural Family Planning?

Catholic couples make a vow to be open to life in their marriage. There is no expectation that couples would have children or have a certain number of children. The Church understands that most couples cannot have baby after baby for all of their reproductive years for a variety of reasons.

Having an openness to life, but using natural cues to avoid or postpone pregnancy, is acceptable to the Catholic Church; therefore, Natural Family Planning is endorsed and taught by the Church.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops says, “The Catholic Church supports the methods of Natural Family Planning (NFP) because they respect God’s design for married love. In fact, NFP represents the only authentic approach to family planning available to husbands and wives because these methods can be used to both attempt or avoid pregnancy.”

Find Out More Here

3) Why is Natural Family planning Morally Acceptable?

Natural Family Planning does not present any risk to the users. Surgical, chemical, and device-based birth control methods all have potential side effects.

Because Natural Family Planning leaves open the possibility of pregnancy, it is considered morally acceptable. There is also no chance of the ending of a pregnancy due to a drug or device that could contribute to a miscarriage.

NFP honors biology and nature and builds awareness and respect between a husband and wife. Spouses who use NFP in a healthy relationship can develop increased respect for each other. The exercise of periodic self-control of sexual impulses carries into different areas of marriage as spouses learn to put others’ needs before their own.

The Catholic Church teaches that the purpose of sex is unitive (brings the couple closer together on a spiritual level) and procreative (life could be created), therefore using sex for other purposes is not morally acceptable.

NFP is also completely free to use and is available to everyone.

More information on Catholic teaching on birth control and the sanctity of human life can be found in Humanae Vitae, the encyclical written in 1968 by Pope Paul IV.

The full document: https://www.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html.

Natural Family Planning also has no environmental impact. Chemical birth control has negative impacts on the environment as hormones can be excreted into the water supply.

4) How does Natural Family Planning Work?

Natural Family Planning involves a woman tracking her menstrual cycles and observing and recording her signs of fertility (cervical mucus, temperature, cervical position, and others).

The woman is trying to become aware of ovulation and be able to accurately predict it month after month. Sperm can live for three to five days after intercourse. An egg is viable for only 12-24 hours. So, a couple practicing NFP will abstain from sex for several days before expected ovulation and a day or two after ovulation to reasonably avoid pregnancy.

There are several methods of Natural Family Planning. According to the National Institutes of Health National Library of Medicine’s National Center for Biotechnology Information, those methods include:

Billings and Creighton Methods: These methods rely on the observation of cervical secretions. This method requires considerable instruction for effective use.
Two Day Method: This method is based on cervical secretions and is similar to the above. Couples abstain when secretions are present and for two days after.
Symptothermal Method: This method combines awareness of cervical secretions with basal body temperature monitoring. Charting and tracking are part of the method.
Marquette Model: This method combines monitoring of cervical secretions with using an electronic device to measure the levels of estrogen and luteinizing hormone (LH) in the urine.

There are other ways to monitor and track cycles and predict ovulation with apps. Some are intended for simple period tracking, while others are specifically for monitoring fertility.

Some examples of technology-based fertility monitoring include:

5) Which Natural Family Planning Method is Best?

The best Natural Family Planning method is the one that works best for the couple and fits their lifestyle. When used correctly, all NFP methods have about the same success rate.

Getting a clear understanding of all of the methods and the technology that can be used to support them (apps, websites, online courses) is the first step. Couples should take time to read about the methods well before marriage. A woman doesn’t have to be married to start monitoring her fertility. A man doesn’t have to be married to get educated about NFP and what it means for his future wife.

If a couple has a reason to avoid pregnancy, a method with more days of abstinence may be a better choice during that season of life. If a couple is open to pregnancy, but not actively trying to conceive, a method that requires less diligent tracking and abstinence may be the best choice.

Education, research, and preparation will help couples find the method of Natural Family Planning that works best for them as they enter into married life.

Some helpful websites include:

6) How can Natural Family Planning Benefit Marriage?

Natural Family Planning respects life – not just the life of a possible baby, but the life of the man and the woman in a marriage. Marriage is built on mutual respect and love and NFP is integral to that love and respect on the most intimate level. Couples have to be on the same page for Natural Family Planning to work.

With NFP, sex is not meant to be a chore or a meaningless habit, nor is it self-serving or selfish. Because there is an openness to life, it is always special, and it is always intentional and unitive. Couples have to communicate with each other about the most intimate things, so there is increased closeness and sharing. Studies show that couples who use NFP have the same frequency of sexual intercourse or more than couples using artificial birth control.

7) Why is Natural Family Planning part of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana?

NFP is part of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana because intimacy and sex are important parts of marriage. Learning how to use the gift of sexuality for both creating new life and becoming closer as a married couple is vital to a healthy marriage.

For many years, married couples gave up on NFP because of a lack of accessible information. The days of NFP being a mystery are over. Reliable science-based and user-friendly NFP is easy to access and is a natural fit and an essential component of Catholic Marriage Prep or Pre-Cana.

8) How effective is Natural Family Planning?

Natural Family Planning methods have been demonstrated to be effective ways to achieve or postpone pregnancy. Failure rates range from .4% to 25%, but there are many variables.

According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, “The symptothermal method, which monitors basal body temperature, cervical secretions, cervical position, and cycle patterns to predict periods of fertility, has been proven effective: its failure rate is 0.4 percent per year with perfect use, and 7.5 percent per year with typical use.

The effectiveness of the TwoDay method rivals that of condoms: with perfect use, the TwoDay Method has a 4 percent annual rate of unintended pregnancy compared with 2 percent for condoms; with typical use, 14 percent compared with 18 percent for condoms.” The full article can be found here: https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2012/1115/od1.html.

9) Why does Natural Family Planning Fail?

The main reason that Natural Family Planning sometimes fails to prevent pregnancy is user error. Couples may have been poorly instructed or misunderstood the instructions. Another reason for the failure of NFP is that the couple ignored the instructions and had intercourse too close to ovulation to avoid pregnancy.

10) How can you learn more about Natural Family Planning?

The Marriage Group offers a fully online and on-demand course in Natural Family Planning. The course covers the reasons the Catholic Church endorses NFP, the science behind it, and the benefits of NFP.

Some parishes and dioceses offer NFP courses, as do some Catholic healthcare facilities. A great resource is on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops website: https://www.usccb.org/topics/natural-family-planning/find-nfp-class.

NFP Life^® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

September 19, 2025/by Jennie McClelland

How to Discern Marriage as a Catholic

Couples, Couples Catholic Weddings, Couples Marriage Prep

Read Time: 5 minutes

Discernment is More Than “Deciding”

Discernment is more than just deciding what to do. God has a plan for your life, but it’s up to you to figure out what that plan is. God calls some people to lead his Church through the vocation of Holy Orders. Some are called to single life or religious life as consecrated men and women. Many are called to marriage. Discerning God’s call for your life takes prayer, an open heart, and listening.

If you feel called to marriage, be assured that it is a worthy vocation on the same level as becoming a priest or nun! The Sacraments of Marriage and Holy Order (priesthood) form the group of sacraments called Sacraments of Service because the whole point is to serve others. When you are called to marriage, you are called to serve your spouse and to have their spirit and salvation as your highest calling.

Discerning Who You Will Marry?

Once you’ve discerned that marriage is your calling, the big question is who you will marry. Answering that question takes time, prayer, and patience.

To be true to God’s calling for your life, you need to be true to yourself. To discern, you need to know who you really are. While you may long for the companionship of marriage, marriage is not intended to be the answer to everything. God is the only one who can completely fulfill your need for love. Placing that responsibility on another person will only lead to disappointment.

Giving yourself time to develop a prayer life, a strong relationship with God, and healthy friendships will set you up for success in finding your future spouse. Good friends who are “on the same page” spiritually will be invaluable resources in helping you discern your relationship with a potential spouse. Growing in your relationship with God and friends will teach you how to care for others, accept and give forgiveness, and become a better communicator.

Building a Foundation of Discernment

People change and evolve as they get older and go through experiences. You are not the same person today as you were last year. Putting the work into discernment makes you able to grow and adapt alongside others as you live life together. If you build a foundation of prayer, listening, and patience it can prepare you for your future marriage, even if you don’t yet know who and if you will marry.

How Do You Practice Discernment?

Pray!

Here’s a prayer from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops that may help you on your journey of discernment:

“Lord, my God and my loving Father, you have made me to know you, to love you, to serve you, and thereby to find and to fulfill my deepest longings. I know that you are in all things, and that every path can lead me to you.

But of them all, there is one especially by which you want me to come to you. Since I will do what you want of me, I pray you, send your Holy Spirit to me: into my mind, to show me what you want of me; into my heart, to give me the determination to do it, and to do it with all my love, with all my mind, and with all of my strength right to the end. Jesus, I trust in you. Amen”

https://www.usccb.org/prayers/prayer-discern-vocation

Learn.

Learn about Catholic marriage. Look for couples who model healthy marriages. Ask them questions. Create in your mind a picture of what you want your marriage to look like. Think about how to attract and be attracted to someone who shares your vision of marriage. Is it a church group, an online community, or a Christian dating app? Project the YOU that tells the real story of the marriage you desire and feel called to be in.

Work on yourself.

We all have issues. Go to church. Go to counseling. Read spiritual books. Mend relationships. Getting your own “stuff” figured out puts you in a better place to truly discern the person you could spend the rest of your life with.

Be picky.

Don’t change who you are and what you feel called to be for a partner. He/she is not “the one” if you have to abandon your core beliefs to make it work with him/her.

How Do You Discern Marriage When You’re Already Engaged?

Do marriage prep, or Pre-Cana!

Catholic marriage prep, or Pre-Cana, goes beyond asking questions like, “When do you want to put up the Christmas tree?” or “How will we divide up the laundry?”. Catholic Marriage Prep will help you and your fiancé/e discuss the following topics:

Theology and Spirituality of Marriage,
Personal Values, Careers, and Practical Issues,
Money
Sex and Intimacy
Communication Skills and Conflict Resolution
Effective Communication
Family of Origin
Natural Family Planning (NFP)

If the Pre-Cana process brings you even closer together and spurs great conversations and insights, you are probably on the right track and can feel confident about future marriage. If things are not going well during Pre-Cana, you, as a couple, have time to either work things out prayerfully and seriously or perhaps to postpone or cancel your wedding.

Pre-Cana is a great gift in that it uses time-tested methods to ask the questions that get to the heart of who you are as individuals and as a couple. Pre-Cana may bring up things you never thought about, or create space for you to talk about things you’ve been afraid to discuss.

The Marriage Group offers a fully online and on-demand marriage prep (Pre-Cana) course that can be used to help couples discern marriage. Couples can take it to meet their parish’s Pre-Cana requirement, or they can take it independently because they want to deepen their relationship. Some couples have even used the course to discern engagement, taking it while dating to better understand their relationship and where it is headed.

All couples should take the time to prayerfully and seriously discern God’s calling for their lives. Marriage, like all vocations, has its beauties and its challenges, but a proper period of discernment is an essential part of following the calling.

The Marriage Group’s online Pre-Cana course, Living Our Faith In Love, is 5-star rated by couples and used in parishes in every U.S. diocese and over 90 countries. Join thousands of other couples who are building a strong marriage with our faithful, flexible, and fun course today!

September 10, 2025/by Jennie McClelland

What is Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana is the process through which engaged couples prepare for marriage. It has practical, emotional, financial, social, and spiritual components. Pre-Cana is a term used by the Catholic Church to describe the marriage preparation process specifically related to a couple celebrating sacramental marriage in the church. In the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament and therefore it is permanent. That’s why it’s so important to prepare couples for this lifelong commitment.

Why is it called Pre-Cana?

Cana was a city in ancient Galilee where Jesus performed his first miracle: turning water into wine at a wedding. Mary, the mother of Jesus, noticed that the wine was running out at the wedding celebration, and she asked Jesus to help out. At first, Jesus resisted his mother’s request, but she said to the servers at the wedding, “Do whatever he tells you”. Jesus then turned at least 120 gallons of water into fine wine. This miracle was the first of many that revealed Jesus’ glory as the Son of God. The story is recorded in the Bible, and you can find it in the Gospel of John, chapter 2.

What does “Pre-Cana” mean?

Pre-Cana is what happens “before the wedding”. Cana was a turning point for Jesus. The wedding is a turning point for those called to the vocation of sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church. Jesus spent his youth and young adulthood gathering his followers, learning, and discerning. Those experiences prepared him for his world-changing ministry, which began with the miracle of changing water into wine, under the direction of his mother, at the wedding at Cana.

The “Pre-Cana” that a couple does before they actually say their wedding vows and start living as a married couple helps prepare them for a happy and fulfilling marriage.

How does Pre-Cana Work?

When a couple meets with their parish priest or deacon to start planning their wedding, they will learn what types of Pre-Cana are required by that parish or diocese. Sometimes there are multiple options for Pre-Cana. Some are weekend programs or retreats while others are a series of in-person classes. Another option is a fully online Pre-Cana program like the one offered by The Marriage Group. Couples may choose to do an online Pre-Cana program on their own as further preparation for their marriage even after attending an in-person preparation class.

Pre-Cana often begins at least six months before the intended wedding. Some couples are paired with a sponsor couple to help them through the process.

Pre-Cana courses include a series of topics ranging from communication, future goals, family of origin, intimacy and sexuality, Natural Family Planning (NFP) and others. Many parishes require a pre-marriage inventory as well, which uses science to find areas for further discussion based on couples’ responses to questions.

Couples need to prove that they have completed all of the required Pre-Cana steps for a priest or deacon to agree to officiate the marriage ceremony in the Catholic Church. Certificates of completion are issued when all the requirements of a Pre-Cana course are met.

Is Pre-Cana required?

Yes! Marriage is a serious commitment. Married people are living a sacramental vocation, just as priests and nuns and others who take vows to live a religious life. There is a process to become a priest, nun, deacon, monk, or other religious person. There is also a process to discern marriage.

Engaged couples can’t skip Pre-Cana. People who have been previously married are required to take the Pre-Cana course if they want to have their marriage blessed by the Church or convalidated. Couples who are already cohabitating are also required to take the Pre-Cana course.

Online courses are a good option for couples that are separated by distance, have incompatible schedules, are in the military, or have other reasons that make in-person Pre-Cana difficult.

Upon completion of Pre-Cana, engaged couples will have a deeper understanding of themselves and each other and often refer back to what they learned in Pre-Cana throughout their married lives.

How long does Pre-Cana take?

The Marriage Group offers a comprehensive, fully on-line, on-demand Pre-Cana course that can be completed in about 8 hours. The course includes online videos, discussion guides, and His and Hers Discussion Guides. The course is flexible for every schedule, faithful to Catholic teaching, and fun for couples to use. The course is in the list of approved programs by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, USCCB.

Some in-person Pre-Cana instruction is stretched out over several months and involves working with sponsor couples. Some courses are completed at a weekend retreat. Details of those Pre-Cana courses are usually found on the website of the parish or diocese hosting the event.

Where do you do Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana can be done in a few ways. Some parishes or dioceses offer weekend retreats that fulfill the Pre-Cana requirements. There are also in-person Pre-Cana classes that are offered at locations within dioceses. Some parishes will have sponsor couples facilitate Pre-Cana instruction with engaged couples.

Pre-Cana can also be done online. The Marriage Group offers an 8-hour course that is trusted and listed as a resource on the website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. The course can be done on-demand and includes a certificate of completion at the end. This option is preferred by couples that want more privacy for their instruction, are separated by distance, have busy schedules, or many other reasons. The Marriage Group’s Pre-Cana course includes comprehensive videos with a variety of content including an online community and events.

Online Pre-Cana can also supplement in-person Pre-Cana requirements to get engaged couples started on a marriage full of happiness, fulfillment, and grace. For couples who want more than just a weekend experience, The Marriage Group provides an online community called Marriage Every Day for all Catholic couples who want to grow in their relationship.

Can you do Pre-Cana online?

Yes! Thousands of couples around the world have used The Marriage Group’s fully online and on-demand Pre-Cana program to fulfill the requirements of their parish. Couples should ask their priest, deacon, or other parish representative if an online course is allowed. The Marriage Group’s representative will reach out to a priest or deacon if they need more information to approve the use of the course.

Online courses cover all of the same topics as in-person courses and allow for greater privacy and deeper reflection on concerning topics. Online courses offer flexibility for couples with complicated schedules, geographic separation, and other situations.

Can you fail Pre-Cana?

No. If you give Pre-Cana your best effort, you “passed”. Most couples find that Pre-Cana is a cherished experience and reminds them why they want to get married in the first place. Every couple will face conflicts and disagreements. Pre-Cana courses give couples the tools to handle conflicts when they arise and to keep working toward a stronger and more satisfying marriage.

These skills provide a foundation for a healthy relationship, and it’s best to continue the growth by actively working on these skills. The best way to do that is to continue connecting with relationship-building activities like books, classes, and communities that promote healthy relationships.

It is possible that Pre-Cana will reveal that it’s best to delay marriage until you work some things out. In rare cases, a priest may decide not to bless a marriage if there are grave concerns about the couple and their readiness for a permanent sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church.

What is the point of Pre-Cana?

Pre-Cana prepares couples for marriage in the Catholic Church. Pre-Cana is a course that provides instruction on topics like communication, future goals, intimacy, Natural Family Planning (NFP), and others. It also provides many opportunities for discussion, understanding, and listening between engaged couples.

The point of Pre-Cana is to give couples a healthy start and to make sure they understand the seriousness of the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church.

Pre-Cana classes are offered in a variety of ways from weekend retreats to a series of courses with a mentor couple to fully online and on-demand courses such as the one offered by The Marriage Group. The Marriage Group’s Pre-Cana Course, Living Our Faith In Love, takes around 8 hours to complete and is listed as a resource on the website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

September 5, 2025/by Jennie McClelland