Reenergize Your Family Life Director

Read Time: 3 minutes

“As a priest and pastor, what can I do for my Family Life or Marriage Ministry Director?”

If this is a question you have asked yourself in the past, then you are on the right track! It is not a secret to anyone that Family Life Directors are not only busy, but they are also tired and burned out. They are, after all, human!

In recent years, especially during and after the pandemic, ministers in the Church have been asked to do more with less. They have had to take on more responsibilities, do more work, be more creative, and work more hours. On top of this, they are working with fewer resources, a smaller staff, and reduced budgets.

As a priest and pastor, have you asked yourself what this situation created in the life and ministry of your Family Life Minister? Have you had a chance to speak openly to your Director of Family Life about these issues?

We at The Marriage Group, as your partners in mission, want to offer you some ideas that might help your Family Life Minister stay engaged in the mission and vision you have for the parish.

Personal Retreat

A day (or two) of personal retreat might be what your Family Life Director needs. Going away to pray, rest, and get re-energized is always a good thing! A personal retreat is an opportunity to take some much-needed time away to obtain a better perspective on everything that keeps us busy.

Most of us never do it!

Ask your Family Life Director, “When was the last time you went on a personal retreat?”

This is not a retreat that they organize for people in the parish, but a personal retreat where they themselves are the recipients.

Day of Reflection

A Day of Reflection is an opportunity for ministers to attend a professional presentation on a topic that is beneficial to them not just in their professional life but also in their personal life. Invite them to take advantage of the opportunities that your diocese may offer.

You can also look for these opportunities taking place at Catholic colleges/universities or seminaries. Listening to a great presentation gives ministers food for thought, and it also gives them the opportunity to share with other lay ministers in the area.

Connection With National/Local Organizations

There are so many benefits to belonging to a local or national Catholic organization! Ministers need to connect with their peers to hear and see what is working in other areas of their city/state/country. Best practices are shared freely by those attending local and national conferences. It happens naturally over coffee, lunch, or dinner. Newsletters, Zoom/video conferences, and webinars, are all ways to stay connected at the local and national level with other ministry professionals.

Healthy and Open Conversations

Staff meetings are NOT the place where your staff will share their personal struggles. Have regular conversations (yes, just a conversation) with your Family Life Director, and ask him/her, “How are YOU doing? What are your struggles?” and then just listen. Open your heart and be present.

These are just some examples of what you can do to help your Family Life Director stay engaged with the mission and vision you have for the parish. You, as the pastor, have the capacity to empower your staff and to help them stay focused, and the best way to do it is by spending time with them.

We want to help! Please let us know how we can assist you in this task. We are, after all, your companions in mission!

Got a minute? Please watch the following video for a personal message from Claudio Mora, Director of Catholic Programs:

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Common Questions About NFP

Read Time: 4 minutes

There is a lot of excitement when you first get engaged. It can be a very thrilling season of life, but it also includes a big checklist of things to do. Depending on the length of your engagement, you’ll either be in a rush or have some time to complete everything. Either way, one thing that needs to be on your list is learning about Natural Family Planning or NFP.

Learning about NFP can be a daunting task. There are a lot of different methods out there to pick from and a multitude of opportunities to learn about them. You’ll have to make sure you fulfill all the requirements your diocese and parish require and decide whether you’ll take a course in-person or online.

With all this searching and decision-making, you may find yourself thinking about questions that you feel nervous or afraid to ask. No worries! There are no questions you cannot ask.

Allow us to get the “awkwardness” out of the way.

Here are some of the common questions couples have about Natural Family Planning:

Do we have to practice NFP?

The answer here is “yes” and “no”. Practicing NFP is a very personal decision that every couple has to make together. There are a lot of different methods you can practice, and making the decision as a team is important for building a strong foundation for intimacy in your marriage.

With that said, maybe one or both of you do not feel you need to practice NFP or don’t want to.

There are many reasons couples feel this way. Some feel they want to be totally open and let God do the deciding for them. Other couples simply don’t believe in it. If you’re unsure about using a natural method, make sure you voice your concerns with your NFP teacher or the priest, deacon, or family life director walking you through marriage prep.

Am I going to get pregnant right away if we use NFP?

This is a myth. There are a lot of people out there who believe using a natural method does not work and you will end up with tons and tons of children. This is not the case. If you need to avoid pregnancy when you first get married, and you are using a method of NFP, there is a good chance you will be successful.

No method is perfect, but if you start practicing your chosen method several months before your wedding and feel comfortable and confident with it, you really should be successful. There is a saying in the NFP community, “You know when you are fertile on any given day.” That knowledge can help you determine the perfect time to start a family and delay it if necessary.

Isn’t NFP too hard?

NFP does have its ups and downs, just like life. A woman’s body changes with the seasons of her life, which means her natural cycles change from time to time as well.

There will be times when you know exactly what is happening with your cycle, and there will be other times when it’s difficult to interpret. Either way, you just can have faith and avoid living in fear. Living in fear, or constantly feeling like you’re struggling, can hinder your success with NFP.

If you’re having a hard time with NFP, maybe you need to switch to a different method or connect with other couples and discuss your issues. Some methods have practitioners you can work with one-on-one: use those practitioners to your advantage, they are there to help you. NFP teaches us to turn our negative motivations into positive ones.

None of my friends or family use NFP, so how do I explain it to them?

First and foremost, it doesn’t matter what other people are doing. That may sound harsh, but it is true. Ultimately, you are doing what is best for your marriage and your overall health by using NFP.

That is the truest explanation; you are doing the best thing for you.

Your friends and family may not agree or understand, and that is okay. This could be your chance to educate them and maybe even change their hearts. It may be best to pass along the links to classes or websites you’ve learned from, and let them research for themselves. The bottom line: do not decide to use Natural Family Planning based on the opinions of others; make the choice for you and your spouse.

Ask and Ask Again

When it comes to using Natural Family Planning, you may have many more questions. It can be confusing and even intimidating at the beginning, but do not be afraid to ask questions and keep asking.

You are making a big decision for your marriage and future family.

If you need help making the right choice, there are great resources available online. Your parish and/or diocese can also help you research the best Natural Family Planning solution for your family.

Author: Daria Bailey, Groesbeck Fertility Care Center

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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Discovering Better Health Through Natural Family Planning

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Read Time: 3 minutes

“Well…I suppose we could put you on the pill for that.”

This was a phrase I heard all too often during my adolescence. When I sought help for longer than normal periods, the sharp pain in my abdomen, or troublesome acne, the answer always came back to the pill. 

I was actively practicing my Catholic faith, so taking something to prevent pregnancy when I was unmarried and not sexually active made little sense to me. There had to be a solution that honored God’s commands AND relieved my series of problems.

In adulthood, when my symptoms persisted, the answer was similar: “Well, we can do the pill, IUD, or an injection.” None of these were compatible with what Catholicism teaches, and even if I took them, they wouldn’t help my symptoms in the long run. They were just being used as a bandaid without actually treating the deeper problem.

Discouraged, I just pressed on the best I could. But, God saw me and had a divine appointment set up for me. One where he would introduce me to a solution that would be both informative and healing.

Discovering Natural Family Planning

I first heard about Natural Family Planning (NFP) when I served in college as a missionary with NET ministries. In the midst of a particularly painful and unexpected period, one of my older female teammates asked if this was normal for me. When I gave a disgruntled “yeah” she asked if I charted my cycle. They were too irregular to chart, I replied, but she gave me information about NFP anyway.

She told me that NFP was a system that tracks and works with a woman’s fertility cycle instead of repressing it. She shared her experience with it, and my mind was blown!

Why did it take 5 years of seeking help before I was finally introduced to a scientific, faith-based way to explore my fertility!?

She gave me resources on the Billings Method, and I became familiar with my cervix and its fluid and learned to chart my periods. It was exciting to read the signs my body was giving and actually know what they meant. Meanwhile, I was becoming significantly more aware of what my body was doing. I also began to notice some abnormalities when I compared my fertility chart to the “average” chart for my age, but they did not appear to be that concerning at the time.

Discovering a Problem

Fast forward to several years later, my husband and I were trying to conceive, and it was just not happening. It was deeply frustrating, and I felt a sadness in my heart that made me identify with Sarah of the Old Testament.

Why, why can’t we have a child?  

I prayed and cried with friends; I prayed and cried with my husband, and it felt…desolate. Then, I reached out to my old friend from NET ministries, and she suggested a deeper dive into NFP with the Marquette Method which uses a machine to test the estrogen (a hormone that regulates menstruation) and LH (a hormone related to ovulation) levels during a woman’s cycle. Since she gives pretty solid pointers, I decided to invest in the full kit.

One month into testing, it quickly became clear that I was not ovulating. An LH surge was nowhere to be seen, and estrogen was staying high for WAY too long! I took this information to my OB, and she ordered some blood tests. Sure enough, God answered my prayers, and I finally got some deeper insight into my infertility.

Discovering Better Health

They diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. PCOS had been at the root of my longer-than-normal periods, years of abnormal pain, various hormonal issues, and now, infertility. While having this condition is a pain (literally!), actually knowing what was wrong with me was an answer to prayer and such a relief.

I finally had an answer and could now develop a way to relieve my symptoms while working together with God’s design for my body.

Currently, I am managing my PCOS symptoms and still praying to get pregnant! Without NFP and this diagnosis, it would’ve been incredibly difficult (but not impossible for our great God) to conceive, since those who have PCOS rarely ovulate.

Through the practice of NFP, I’ve been able to work with my fearfully and wonderfully made body the way God intended. It’s clear to me that through that cooperation he is healing my body in more ways than one… but the rest of that story is for another day.

Author: Alonna Hunt

NFP Life® featuring Dr. Danielle & Kyle Koestner, Daria Bailey & Natalie Klinkhammer, and Jessie Wiegand — This foundational Natural Family Planning course covers the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. It also provides detailed information about the biomarkers that indicate fertility and how to track them, so couples can choose a method of NFP that fits their lifestyle. Watch the trailer below and have your couples register here.

 

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